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Original poster

What was it you wanted to tell a loved one before remembering they aren’t here any more?

61 replies

LaDeeDa123 · 14/07/2023 19:57

It’s been an emotional day one way or another. I had a funny thought which I wanted to tell a friend (and mumsnetter) in a moment before remembering I can’t. Then a wave of grief hit me again. So, I’m telling you instead. It won’t mean anything but here goes:
’Her husband looks like Shrek after he was turned into a human.’
Please don’t start with ‘that sounds mean.’ It really isn’t and more importantly my friend would have laughed her head off.

OP posts:
mirages08 · 14/07/2023 20:00

Aw 💙

Daily, really. My dad. Its been10 years and I still sometimes go to phone him...💔

Original poster
LaDeeDa123 · 14/07/2023 20:01

@mirages08 x

OP posts:
RainbowUtensils · 14/07/2023 20:03

Took a photo of my 7 week old son today which I wanted to send to my Dad. He would have loved this specific photo so much. Missing him hits me like a ton of bricks sometimes.

Original poster
LaDeeDa123 · 14/07/2023 20:04

Oh @RainbowUtensils 😥

OP posts:
Original poster
LaDeeDa123 · 14/07/2023 20:06

That’s such a dad chat article @Sohereitissuddenly Sorry for your loss.

OP posts:
DyslexicPoster · 14/07/2023 20:12

The coronation with my mum. That was the day I found out she had died. 😭 my dad about the kids. Could just imagine going to him in tears and him being the only person who want the best for them. But he never met any of them. Died 4 weeks because I had his first grandchild 19 years ago

Ponderingwindow · 14/07/2023 20:19

I have never wanted to talk to my mother as much as the day my 9yo was diagnosed with ASD. At that point they highly suspected me as well. I wanted to tell her that there was an explanation for the difficult early years and all the stresses she faced raising a precocious, but slightly odd child. I wanted to get her advice now that I knew I was doing the same.

My father is still alive so in theory I could talk to him, but I have never even told him about the diagnoses. We just don’t have a good relationship and I don’t trust him with the information.

BunnyBettChetwynd · 14/07/2023 20:31

I so wish you could all share your thoughts with the people you obviously love very much.

My friend used to love clothes and fashion. She died many years ago but the other day I found a dress by one of her favourite designers in a charity shop for £6. It fitted me a dream and I bought it. He was an obscure designer from many years ago and I SO wanted to tell her I'd found it, I knew nobody else would appreciate how special it was.

notsuchafrugalkitty · 14/07/2023 20:36

My Dad is still alive but trapped in final stage Parkinson's with dementia. I've started to grow roses for the first time and I want to ask him for all his advice as he was an expect gardener but I can't as he no longer remembers.

elenacampana · 14/07/2023 20:44

My great aunty had 4 still births during the 1950s and her babies were buried with unknown adults. I don’t think she ever had any real opportunity to process her grief or the fact she never had a baby. Years passed and she became very close with my Nana’s children (she had 7). My mum was especially close with this Aunty and she ended up being very much grandmother to my sister and me. Her death was 9 years ago and I still tear up every time I think of her. I just hope she knew that while she didn’t have s baby, she had grandchildren anyway and to me she was totally irreplaceable. I missed her so much when I had an early pregnancy loss a couple of years ago and thought of her often during the years we struggled to conceive, she was the one person who may have understood how I felt and I really wanted to talk to her.

I have a toddler now and would love to share her with my Aunty/Nana, I hope that she can see my little girl, she’d have adored her.

Original poster
LaDeeDa123 · 14/07/2023 20:59

These stories are so heartbreaking.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 14/07/2023 21:10

My Mum died in March and I have so much to tell her.
I actually picked up my phone to text her when DD passed her driving test in April.
Her ashes are in the lounge though (much to DHs horror) so I do tell her stuff

cunningartificer · 14/07/2023 21:17

Wordsworth wrote a beautiful poem called "Surprised by Joy" about wanting to share a moment of joy with his wife, having forgotten for a moment that she had died, and how that moment of remembering was the worst pain apart from the moment she died. I often think of it when I want to share something with someone I love who has died; it's such a powerful poem : www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/50285/surprised-by-joy

IHeartGeneHunt · 14/07/2023 21:24

I still want to tell my grandad that I got my A Levels, and he died in 2001.

Original poster
LaDeeDa123 · 14/07/2023 21:33

That poem…

OP posts:
BunnyBettChetwynd · 14/07/2023 22:02

The poem so sums up the sharp pain of loss, but it has made me really appreciate the people who I still have around me.

MuchTooTired · 14/07/2023 22:08

The worst one I wanted to tell my aunt immediately after she’d been found dead, was that she’d died. It was on the tip of my tongue to say we must call her and then the brain caught up.

Mainly though, I want her to be alive so I can tell her everything. Nothing exciting or particularly interesting, just regular life and I want to hear about hers.

Blossomtoes · 14/07/2023 22:12

My parents adored little dogs. I so wished I could send them this picture of ours that I took yesterday.

What was it you wanted to tell a loved one before remembering they aren’t here any more?
BeBraveLittlePenguin · 14/07/2023 22:12

The story on the BBC yesterday about all the golden retrievers. My mother would have loved that.

Errolwasahero · 14/07/2023 22:15

I’m sorry.

30 years 😥

Starsandrain · 14/07/2023 22:16

💔

Whatthediddlyfeck · 14/07/2023 22:17

I mostly want to tell my dad that I’m ok

moonlight1705 · 14/07/2023 22:28

A little more silly than others but my mum and I loved reading The Chronicles of St Mary's and I still want to ring her up whenever a new book comes out to see what she thought.

CopperSeahorses · 14/07/2023 22:31

I want to tell DH his DD is getting married but I can't.

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