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Original poster

What was it you wanted to tell a loved one before remembering they aren’t here any more?

61 replies

LaDeeDa123 · 14/07/2023 19:57

It’s been an emotional day one way or another. I had a funny thought which I wanted to tell a friend (and mumsnetter) in a moment before remembering I can’t. Then a wave of grief hit me again. So, I’m telling you instead. It won’t mean anything but here goes:
’Her husband looks like Shrek after he was turned into a human.’
Please don’t start with ‘that sounds mean.’ It really isn’t and more importantly my friend would have laughed her head off.

OP posts:
Blossomtoes · 14/07/2023 22:37

CopperSeahorses · 14/07/2023 22:31

I want to tell DH his DD is getting married but I can't.

That’s heartbreaking 💐

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 14/07/2023 22:42

I lost a friend S two years ago.

The amount of times I've thought I'll have to text S to realise I can't from the really important to the very trivial is really sad

zerocapacity · 14/07/2023 22:44

This thread is sad and already making me cry. Only just started reading peoples stories.

zerocapacity · 14/07/2023 22:45

It makes me appreciate the people around me and I dread it when they are gone.

Awrite · 14/07/2023 22:51

Well, this thread has me in tears. Just goes to show the strength of love.

I want to talk to my beloved brother about our sister being awful to me. He is the only one who would truly understand.

zerocapacity · 14/07/2023 22:53

My mum has a brain illness and although still here isn't in a lot of ways and I miss her so much and want to ask her so many things about her life/thoughts/opinions and wish I had asked her more before and regret this so much. I just took it for granted that she would always be okay. She just sits in a chair now and does nothing and is totally dependent and her eyes are getting blanker everyday. I never expected it and it makes me feel very sad.

stayathomer · 14/07/2023 22:56

It’s my dad’s anniversary this week. I remembered yesterday that the friend in Indiana Jones was pike from dad’s army, which my dad loved. I forgot he was gone for just a split second. When I told dh he didn’t know dad’s Amy so I bawled in the bathroom when I got home (and now am crying again!😅)

WomanAtWork · 14/07/2023 22:56

My mum passed away some years ago and thank goodness, I don’t have that default mechanism to text her quite as often now. It is such a sharp pang when you remember there won’t be a reply.

But the other day I met a new friend for lunch and she brought me, for no reason, the most beautiful bunch of flowers and literally NO ONE does silly things like that for me now my mum is gone. I instinctively went to text mum a photo to say “see mum, I made a new friend, i am doing okay and just look at these flowers!”

stayathomer · 14/07/2023 22:59

So sorry everyone (I don’t know who to say sorry to)

Cherrysoup · 14/07/2023 23:02

I was in France when my DH phoned to say my dad had died very suddenly. On the way home, I saw about 20 Citroën DS’s driving along the motorway, must have been a convention. I was gutted I couldn’t tell my dad, it’s his favourite car. Made me cry even harder.

medianewbie · 14/07/2023 23:06

My Ds received his exam Results on Thurs. Despite his ASD, his Dyslexia, his Clinical Anxiety he worked so hard & got the top possible mark. He was Tutored by my Partner, who gave him so many hours of support. I wanted to tell him instantly. But His memorial service was in May. It was uploaded to YouTube today. I wanted to tell him.

Nepotism · 14/07/2023 23:10

An odd one, but DH died six months ago and I really wanted to tell him about the George Osborne email! It was the sort of random thing we'd have texted about 🤷‍♀️

zerocapacity · 14/07/2023 23:17

IHeartGeneHunt · 14/07/2023 21:24

I still want to tell my grandad that I got my A Levels, and he died in 2001.

This made really cry

zerocapacity · 14/07/2023 23:18

IHeartGeneHunt · 14/07/2023 21:24

I still want to tell my grandad that I got my A Levels, and he died in 2001.

Well done. He would be so proud of you.

DeadButDelicious · 14/07/2023 23:20

I would like to tell my Grandad that my baby made it, that she's 6 now and he would have loved her.

I'd also like to tell DDog, who we lost a fortnight ago tomorrow that we miss her very much, the house is too quiet without her and I hate it. And also that I'm sorry we couldn't fix it for her. I'd have moved mountains if it would have helped little dog, I'm so sorry.

What was it you wanted to tell a loved one before remembering they aren’t here any more?
MrsAvocet · 14/07/2023 23:23

When my elder DS was made a patrol leader at Scouts I actually picked up the phone to tell my ex Scout leader Dad. I got half way through dialing the number before remembering he'd been dead for 5 years. He would have been so proud of DS though.

LadyVictoriaSponge · 14/07/2023 23:26

I'd also like to tell DDog, who we lost a fortnight ago tomorrow that we miss her very much, the house is too quiet without her and I hate it. And also that I'm sorry we couldn't fix it for her. I'd have moved mountains if it would have helped little dog, I'm so sorry.

This broke me, sums up what I would have said to my dog who died 3 months ago, I’m sorry you are going through this as well @DeadButDelicious your dog was beautiful.

GrapeHyacinth · 14/07/2023 23:29

I miss being able to share things about my daughters with my late husband. There are various things he'd have been proud of. No one loves our daughters and is invested in them like we both were and now theres just me who cares that much for them. They were unlucky to lose a parent at 11 and 13.

ApolloandDaphne · 14/07/2023 23:33

I would love to be able to chat to my dad about nothing in particular and hear his wisecracks and quips making me laugh. I miss him so much.

DeadButDelicious · 14/07/2023 23:34

LadyVictoriaSponge · 14/07/2023 23:26

I'd also like to tell DDog, who we lost a fortnight ago tomorrow that we miss her very much, the house is too quiet without her and I hate it. And also that I'm sorry we couldn't fix it for her. I'd have moved mountains if it would have helped little dog, I'm so sorry.

This broke me, sums up what I would have said to my dog who died 3 months ago, I’m sorry you are going through this as well @DeadButDelicious your dog was beautiful.

Thank you, I'm sorry you're going through it too Flowers

Bananaspliff · 14/07/2023 23:41

My dad loved tennis. He instilled the love of the game in me. He died ten years ago, I want to tell him so badly his 8 year old granddaughter played her first club tournament a fortnight ago. How he would have loved the grandchildren he never met.

StJulian2023 · 14/07/2023 23:45

I would like DD to be able to tell DH about her induction day at Secondary school, her wonderful SATs results, her residential, her friends, her favourite teacher, everything. DH was only alive for the first couple of months of her school career. As for DS and I…I could go on all night.

Missed beyond measure, loved for all time.

dovesong · 14/07/2023 23:57

Mum's got dementia and can't really talk about anything these days. What always gets me is when I read a book she would have loved - that was one of our things, we passed them back and forward. She wouldn't be able to follow an audio book now and obviously can't read. She used to be an English teacher. Makes me feel sick with sadness.

zerocapacity · 15/07/2023 00:45

MrsAvocet · 14/07/2023 23:23

When my elder DS was made a patrol leader at Scouts I actually picked up the phone to tell my ex Scout leader Dad. I got half way through dialing the number before remembering he'd been dead for 5 years. He would have been so proud of DS though.

Oh god that's sad😰

Cadburyscreamegg · 15/07/2023 00:59

My ex partner died just over a week ago and our dog came to live with me and my dd taught him to give her his paw last weekend and I was like a proud mum I just wanted to ring him to tell him what a clever boy our dog is. It made me cry knowing il never speak to him again.