Yes, it's you John Lewis, and you Virgin and O2. JL have stopped my email. I have spent two days trying to sort out access to phone accounts. Virgin I tried to get into change my email account, but I couldn't, and it didn't recognise my phone numbers. Phoned them. Explained the email problem, JL has stopped providing and suggested switching to gmail, (which has not as advertised imported everything, but that's another vent) and then that I could not access my account. I will send you an email with instructions. Would you like my new address? No, we have to use the address we have. Cue a version of the dead parrot sketch. You will have to go to an O2 shop.
So I hie me down to Bluewater. It turns out I have an O2 account, with a password and everything, but the old email, which they are not allowed to change. I might as well not have any of these phones, I say, a bit loudly. Please don't shout, we have other customers. He hasn't heard me shout. They can do nothing and nothing to do with Virgin, which my phone originally was but it's changed under my hand. Here's Customer Services number.
So I sit in the car park and call CS. Several times, as the menu isn't relevant. Eventually I get a man who wants to be helpful, in a strong South Asian accent, but he cannot understand, and I drop the call, dear chap rings back. He says I am vague about what I want. I am vague because what I want doesn't fit the script. I want to change the email to access (and when did programs become apps?) the website on a computer.
And proving my identity? Over and over again. Where was I happy as a child? Not the ones I remember.
I'm going to Carphone Warehouse and get not Virgin or O2 sims, and cancel my direct debits. Not really Virgin's fault, so much as John Lewis (though they did give warning, but I didn't know where my email was going), but they (Virgin and O2) should have a way to deal with changes. I can't be the only one to have problems.
I was diagnosed with high blood pressure this week. I don't think the medication can cope with this!