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Original poster

Baby crying in my cul de sac... what to do

69 replies

mrsneate · 12/07/2023 01:35

He cries all the time. Obviously now the windows are open we can hear it more. My teen son just came in and said he's heard the baby crying since he got him this morning and he's still crying now.

Parents are police officers as far as I know. I've never spoken to them (I'm fairly new to the street!)

I know when my neighbour popped over when my youngest cried for 23 hours a day I was mortified and it made me feel worse,

He's about 18 months old I think.

Is it worth contacting the local health visitor? Or would you pop round (in the daylight obviously)

OP posts:
livvymc · 12/07/2023 01:38

If you were made to feel worse by a neighbour “popping round” when your own child continually cried, why on earth would you even consider doing this to someone else?!

Original poster
mrsneate · 12/07/2023 01:40

Hence why I'm asking! My baby was very small when he cried a lot (a few weeks old with colic, reflux and milk protein allergies)

This child is about 18 months old so slightly different

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 12/07/2023 01:42

Call social services.

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Families
Imdonewithsergio · 12/07/2023 01:50

a newborn with colic is very different to an 18 month old. I would definitely say something.

Soakitup37 · 12/07/2023 02:09

Funny enough I’m up with my 12 month old tonight. He’s just had his 12 months jabs today and is awfully unsettled even with a dose up. I dare say the neighbours can hear him ((even though big bro is snoozing through it!)

It wouldn’t help me for someone to knock on unless they were saying let me keep an eye while you go back to sleep. A crying baby is not misunderstood by the parents we know they are crying!!

Given your own admission why would you knock on? What are you trying to achieve?? Unless you’re going to be really practical and helpful leave them be.

Soakitup37 · 12/07/2023 02:10

Aquamarine1029 · 12/07/2023 01:42

Call social services.

And say what? I heard a baby crying?!

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 12/07/2023 02:17

Is it my baby? He's teething hard and I've yet to get him to sleep

We're maxed out on drugs.

My toddler is also frequently screaming tonight with night terrors.

I'm screaming into pillows.

If it is me turn your sodding security light off so it stops lighting up my baby's room like
Blackpool illuminations despite a blackout blind and curtains!!!

AmadeustheAlpaca · 12/07/2023 02:34

If you are concerned about the baby constantly crying every day, not just occasionally I would definitely call social services. Ignore all the posters on here saying leave him alone. So many cases of children being abused and everyone turned a blind eye. If the baby is fine, well that’s the best outcome, if not at least you have tried to help and you may help a small child in a bad situation.

AutieNOT0tie · 12/07/2023 02:57

If it literally is all day at that age I'd be concerned. I'd report to ss. They will check the family history and make a call wether to do a welfare check. If the baby is crying so much they probably need help.

Thack · 12/07/2023 04:59

From the time of your post... Could they be sleep training?
'All day' vs how long it's been going on is important, only you can judge if it's past a line of reasonable (as in, not us folk of MN).

haloangel · 12/07/2023 05:04

Oh for god's sake. I do think you are exaggerating I doubt the baby has been crying continuously all this time. My little one cries and doesn't stop unless she's picked up. Sometimes baby's cry!

MadamMaltesers · 12/07/2023 05:08

I can't stand nosy people, if you care you would go around and ask if everything is ok. Why would you inform a health visitor that a baby is crying?!

VisionsOfSplendour · 12/07/2023 05:16

haloangel · 12/07/2023 05:04

Oh for god's sake. I do think you are exaggerating I doubt the baby has been crying continuously all this time. My little one cries and doesn't stop unless she's picked up. Sometimes baby's cry!

Do you think that the OP isn't aware that babies cry? It's pretty obvious if you hear a child crying for prolonged periods over time

How would you know who the health visitor is? Do some places have one by area regardless of which gp surgery you're with?

I wouldn't even know who my next door neighbour's gp is never mind someone further away. Social services might be better

cryinglaughing · 12/07/2023 05:25

Speak to social services.
Anyone who has done safeguarding training is told, if in any doubt, pass on your concerns. That is the right thing to do.

Wheredidtheselotapego · 12/07/2023 05:33

As someone with an 18m year old myself that’s really not normal if it’s all the time. I would give SS a call. It’s probably fine, and yeah they’ll either be embarrassed about it or if they are struggling it might give them the kick to seek help. Or they might be shit parents neglecting their child. Too many stories of abuse going under the radar until it’s too late.

Ollifer · 12/07/2023 06:02

Thack · 12/07/2023 04:59

From the time of your post... Could they be sleep training?
'All day' vs how long it's been going on is important, only you can judge if it's past a line of reasonable (as in, not us folk of MN).

I mean, 'sleep training' or not it'd be pretty abusive to leave an 18 month old screaming for hours.

This would concern me tbh yes babies cry a lot but at 18 months old I wouldn't be expecting to hear it constantly.

As for what to do though I'm not sure op, I really don't know. I'd probably be a massive wimp and post a note through the door with my number on asking if they need any help/if everything is okay as you have been hearing the little one upset a lot? I'd probably do that if it were me as a first course of action

cigarettesNalcohol · 12/07/2023 06:12

I have an 18 month old toddler. And if she was crying all day then there's a problem. If it was a newborn or the baby is a few months old - maybe even a 9 month old let's say, then yeah, they can cry all day and that's more normal.

But it's not normal for a toddler to be crying all day. Bit of a red flag if im honest.

Mumontherunn · 12/07/2023 06:21

Honestly, how is knocking on the door going to help other than stressing out the poor parents even more? Sounds like they’re all going through a rough time

Eastie77Returns · 12/07/2023 06:27

Why are people describing an 18 month old as a baby🙄 Of course it isn’t normal for a toddler of that age to cry for hours on end.

OP, if you are concerned make an anonymous call to SS. I wouldn’t pop round. It might sound like over kill to some but time and time again there are threads on MN after the death of an abused child with posters berating SS for missing warning signs.

If the parents are police officers and nothing untoward is going on they will no doubt understand why someone might have felt concerned at what sounds like unusual behaviour from a young child.

Greenfishy · 12/07/2023 06:28

Things like this make me think of that poor little girl who died when her mum went out and left her in her cot for five days. She would have cried and cried and cried and nobody came to help her. I think you should either call social services or knock on the door. PP’s are right - safeguarding is everyone’s business. If the parents are upset then that’s unfortunate, but imagine how the neighbours of that poor little girl felt when they heard what had happened after they ignored it.

Kinsters · 12/07/2023 06:29

It really depends how much you're exaggerating when you say "crying all the time". My DS is 18 months old and he cries a lot at the moment...during the night because he's teething and wants breast milk but I've weaned him, during the day because he wants to open the freezer or turn on the hose pipe or eat the cat food and I don't let him, or because DH has picked him up so I can go and shower or maybe his sister snatched his toy away. It is a lot (and was more when I was weaning him) but there's nothing funny going on and I would hate if one of my neighbours randomly knocked on the door about it! They wouldn't do this though as I know and talk to them so they know what he's like lol.

It's a shame you don't know your neighbours enough to know what's going on with them/their kid but I know that's quite common nowadays. I guess what I'm saying is if you're genuinely worried about him then report it to someone but some kids do just cry a lot so as long as there's no other concerning signs then I'd personally be hesitant to stick my oar in. DS is my second and DD was nothing like him, barely ever cried.

user1492757084 · 12/07/2023 06:38

Knock on the door with your son and a cup and ask to borrow a half cup of sugar.
Make some biscuits and visit. Be a good neighbour.

Ask if they are well as the baby is crying more. (Could be on treatment for illness?)
They could all be sleep deprived
You can knock again to repay the sugar.
If you know them,you can make better judgements.

Totalwasteofpaper · 12/07/2023 06:48

My dd is 16m and has gone from crying approx 10-15mins to about 4-6 hours a day in intervals of 5 -10 mins mostly at night.
she has teething sleep regression and general toddler frustrations.
And it is LOUD so i get it....

But if my DD was crying constantly (block of 30 mins plus) it would be because something is really not right.
if this is what is happening PLEASE report it and ask for a welfare check.
Police officers can be negligent parents too.

Wheredidtheselotapego · 12/07/2023 06:48

realistically what’s the outcome of popping round / putting a letter through the door going to be? How would someone actually be able to help their neighbour in that situation? And then what happens if they do suspect the child’s in danger? They’ll be hesitant to get SS involved as the parents will know it’s them.

Yeah it would be great if we all knew our neighbours better, but children with abusive parents don’t end up in the news because Jo down the road didn’t bother to stop for 5 mins for a chat and cup of tea, it’s because concerned neighbours don’t contact the services who can help.

CamCola · 12/07/2023 07:02

It’s not normal for a 18 month old to be crying constantly. Contact social services.