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Original poster

Sick of flashers. Sick of people minimising flashers.

80 replies

LaMadameCholet · 11/07/2023 20:15

Just that really. This will sound unbelievable but I can assure you it’s absolutely true.

Last week a man exposed himself to me whilst I was walking my dog in the park. The following day, a drunk man came up to the floor to ceiling window of a venue where I was having a meeting, looked right at me in an intimidating way and started wanking. The week before a man with learning difficulties who lives in supported accommodation in a house in my road exposed himself to myself and also to a neighbour twice. The previous man who lived there did the same thing repeatedly, the carers don’t safeguard their residents at all.
Today, I took a group of 12 year olds to a museum (I’m a teacher) and as we left a man called put to the children and then dropped his trousers. (Luckily he was the other side of a busy road, not all the children noticed and all are ok).

Two of the adults that I had to inform about this at school, and one of my friends said “Oh, what is it about you Audacia, ha ha ha”. It’s not funny. I don’t want to walk my dog on my own any more. The man with LD sometimes escapes from his accommodation, or he’s always pressed up against the window every time I go out. I know he can’t help it but I don’t feel safe and I’m sick of this.

OP posts:
TomorrowToday · 11/07/2023 20:27

Have you called the police on all these occasions?

It happened to me as a kid, I thought I just meet him having a wee. Naive:

SpitSpotTalksALot · 11/07/2023 20:31

It’s a strange one. I’ve read before that they like the shock factor. I think a flasher exposed himself to me at work but as I have a healthcare role I felt so stunned I just laughed afterwards and was weirdly unable to report it. My job does not entail looking at people’s genitals btw. At all. It really isn’t funny though.

YackyDah · 11/07/2023 20:33

That's a lot in a few weeks!

Not saying I don't believe you. I just mena that's unfortunate.

But yeah, it's gross and should be taken more seriously.

Wishitsnows · 11/07/2023 20:36

Make sure you report all to the police. It shouldn’t be minimised and the people saying ha ha clearly don’t get it. It very often escalates

powershowerforanhour · 11/07/2023 20:36

I don't blame you and I don't agree with people who think we should always be mentally ready and confident to instantly fire off some nonchalant insult about how tiny the flasher's dick is because

  • why should we have to walk around primed for lightning fast correct defensive aggressive reactions like we're soliders in the streets of a war zone
  • it's OK to be shocked . It's OK to be fazed. It's OK to be not cool with it and even a bit scared.
We shouldn't have to pretend that it's no biggie and no worse than something a bit gross like spitting in the street.
  • making some sort of insult is hardly going to make them not hate or despise women. It's not going to make them stop doing it to other women. If we ignore it, they'll keep doing it, and if we react , they'll keep doing it. The only thing that would help a but would be if it was taken really seriously by police, enough to trawl through and piece together CCTV footage after the fact to try to catch the flasher, gather witness statements and convict them. (Obviously not in the case of the mentally ill ones...but they should be better supervised and not let out alone if they do that. Their carers are trained and paid to deal with it, the general public- including children- are not. The carers presumably have some safety mechanisms in the workplace to minimise the risk of a carer getting trapped alone with and sexually assaulted by one of these men, the general public do not).
Whattodowithit88 · 11/07/2023 20:41

I wonder if you was to get your phone out and film them what their reaction would be? Would they be worried you will send it to the police, or love the attention and carry on?

I’ve never been flashed ever, I guess some of us are just lucky?

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 11/07/2023 20:46

I wish it was taken more seriously too, only had it happen a couple of times but each time I've reported it and each time it's felt like a complete waste of time.

Particularly enjoyed reporting the one who was stripping off in the middle of the town centre at 7.30am in front of queues of school kids waiting for buses. Police dispatcher on the phone was trying to locate him on the CCTV I'd already explained that the man had removed his trousers and given his exact location and he asked how he would recognise the man, I said 'he's the half naked one with his penis swinging in the wind, standing next to the great big clock tower.'

Original poster
LaMadameCholet · 11/07/2023 21:26

TomorrowToday · 11/07/2023 20:27

Have you called the police on all these occasions?

It happened to me as a kid, I thought I just meet him having a wee. Naive:

Yes, I called the community police officer about the one in the park, I spoke to the manager of the home and the community police about the neighbour, the manager of the meeting space spoke to the police (that was particularly horrible as there was a mother and baby yoga class happening in an adjoining room). Today I filled in loads of safeguarding forms and spoke to the museum - the weirdo was obviously waiting for kids to come out. I also had to ring all the parents.

So it’s not just the initial impact of the flashing, it’s the time it’s taken to do all that that’s pissing me off as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
LaMadameCholet · 11/07/2023 21:28

Whattodowithit88 · 11/07/2023 20:41

I wonder if you was to get your phone out and film them what their reaction would be? Would they be worried you will send it to the police, or love the attention and carry on?

I’ve never been flashed ever, I guess some of us are just lucky?

The man in the woods and the one at the meeting looked like they wanted to kill me.

OP posts:
Original poster
LaMadameCholet · 11/07/2023 21:29

@powershowerforanhour Thank you, I found your comments really helpful

OP posts:
singJoanna · 11/07/2023 21:43

It's happened to me a few times too. It's shocking and very scary. A few weeks back I was walking through an underpass after work and a man pulled his pants down and masturbated at me. I run back into work and my manager told me not to call the police and that I'd probably just interrupted him having a wee! It's like some people can't admit to themselves that these weirdos are out there.
called the police but he was long gone, they said they get calls all the time about flashers.
The first time it happened to me I was a teenager and at work. He walked up to me in the middle of a busy clothing store in London and just whipped it out, disgusting.

Jigslaw · 11/07/2023 21:44

You have been very unfortunate to have so many in a short space of time indeed.

Northernsouloldies · 11/07/2023 21:49

LaMadameCholet · 11/07/2023 21:28

The man in the woods and the one at the meeting looked like they wanted to kill me.

Show quote history

I can't imagine how frightening that must be being in a secluded place and faced with a very unwanted situation. It's definitely not a ha ha offence.

TomorrowToday · 11/07/2023 22:14

singJoanna · 11/07/2023 21:43

It's happened to me a few times too. It's shocking and very scary. A few weeks back I was walking through an underpass after work and a man pulled his pants down and masturbated at me. I run back into work and my manager told me not to call the police and that I'd probably just interrupted him having a wee! It's like some people can't admit to themselves that these weirdos are out there.
called the police but he was long gone, they said they get calls all the time about flashers.
The first time it happened to me I was a teenager and at work. He walked up to me in the middle of a busy clothing store in London and just whipped it out, disgusting.

Jesus and he didn't get caught?

DyslexicPoster · 11/07/2023 22:19

Through man with LD take photos and post to police.

Others take photos, put a sticker over their tiny dick then post on FB and the police.

I wouldn't think twice about getting a photo.

Rolypops · 11/07/2023 22:19

I honestly don't know why it's treated so leniently as often the behaviour escalates to full on assaults. I was flashed walking to school alone for the first time on my first day in year seven and he then started performing a sex act on himself, nothing was done. Ruined what should have been a special nemory and I was terrified of men for two years. This was at 8am in a fairly busy park.

singJoanna · 11/07/2023 22:21

@TomorrowToday The police gave me a reference number that I can use if I see him again but it's doubtful. it was very close to a massive holiday park, I reckon he probably hid under one of the caravans until he see the police drive away.

Oldnamechangeyetagain · 11/07/2023 22:26

I agree you need to get pictures OP.

Also, go to the local press and tell them about the man in the park, they will put a warning out in their papers.

Don't keep quiet about this, warn everyone you can think of and don't go into the park again alone.

It's outrageous that we have to tolerate these pervs and no-one takes it seriously.

Gowlett · 11/07/2023 22:28

I wouldn’t like it. The first adult willy (yeah I was a kid, so it was a willy) was unwelcome to my young self. I live in a big city & see them often enough… I was even pissed off seeing that big old one on AJLT the other night. Twice! Thankfully, I’ve never had a dick pic.

Jennalong · 11/07/2023 22:31

They do it because the penis is a beautiful sight to behold ! Well that's what they like to think

toomanyleggings · 11/07/2023 22:35

I totally agree with you. People need to report and police need to take it seriously. Wayne Couzens started off flashing

Oldnamechangeyetagain · 11/07/2023 22:38

Jennalong · 11/07/2023 22:31

They do it because the penis is a beautiful sight to behold ! Well that's what they like to think

Bwaaahaaahaaa!!😕

IhearyouClemFandango · 11/07/2023 22:42

Jennalong · 11/07/2023 22:31

They do it because the penis is a beautiful sight to behold ! Well that's what they like to think

No, they don’t. They do it because it makes women/onlookers uncomfotravel or intimidated. Nothing to do with sharing something that they think others will like, that makes it sound childlike and innocent in its intention.

IhearyouClemFandango · 11/07/2023 22:42

Uncomfotravel?! Uncomfortable.

ToadIsTheBest · 11/07/2023 22:47

My husband got back from a night out last week, and when he got off the bus there was a man sitting at the bus stop with his jeans and underwear resting on his leg and letting everything all hang out.

He said he just laughed and said "good night then mate?"

And the man said "yeah the best "

I had to explain how it isn't funny and how I would've been scared if I had been the one getting off the bus at midnight to that sight. Men don't get it do they...