Can’t afford school fees any longer

[Whichwaytooo]

We have 2 DC (Year 3 and Year 5), both at private school. Our bills have more than doubled this year, but the big issue is our fixed rate mortgage ends in 7 months’ time and our monthly costs are going to go up massively.

Added to that school fees are increasing by 8% due to CoL, and then it’s looking like there will be VAT on top of that. It’s just no longer affordable for us.

We’re wondering whether to take younger DC out of their school now, and try to weather the storm for a year with older DC and then go state for secondary. But both love their school and I think it will cause huge resentment in younger DC. I do have the option of working 6 days a week to bring in more money but I feel that I hardly see my DC as it is. We have to pay next term’s fees anyway as haven’t given a term’s notice, but would it be easier to move both to state school at the beginning of a new school year?

Another issue is that there isn’t space for both DC at the same local school, so easier to justify keeping elder at current school for a year.

Sorry, a bit of a ramble but any advice would be appreciated.

It sounds like you can't afford it even without the pending increased mortgage costs. No holidays or meals out? Sounds complete madness, you definitely need to get them out of there and try and enjoy life with your family a bit more before your mortgage costs increase

Good luck with speaking to the school.

We found ourselves in this situation when DS was in primary. Spoke to the head and resulted in us being given a 50% bursary. So it can and does happen.

Good luck x

No holidays atm did if for me. Holidays can shape a childhood, a family and a childs view of life. We've always prioritised holidays- my dc could have gone private but like you we would have had to lose holidays and the extras that make life more fun.

I would still finish this next academic year though for both dc. Your oldest then going straight to secondary where it is new for everyone anyway and your youngest will get more time to prepare.

And then plan a holiday!

At least it’s only prep. It’s far harder on them to take them out of seniors mid way. They’ll settle in a new juniors soon enough.

Bite the bullet and get them out. Let them start a new school in September. Plead to the private school to not make you pay full fees for the term they aren't there.

Use the money to provide out of school activities and experiences for the kids.

Once one child is at the school you'll have a sibling link so should be top priority for the other child to get a space.

If you have 7 months left on your mortgage, you won’t be paying the increased mortgage payments until March (or April)
Our mortgage provider allowed us to fix into a new product 6 months before, so do that ASAP. You’ll then know what your mortgage payments will be going forward and budget for that. Explore increasing the term of the mortgage, you can always shorten it again (or overpay) when the kids have left school.

As your mortgage payments aren’t increasing until next year (and I guess the last term fees are due in March/April) I would keep both children in their current school for another year (you’re paying for the first term anyway).

My daughter doesn’t deal well with change, so for her, she would find it difficult starting 2 new schools in consecutive years. You know your children better than anyone, maybe discuss how they would feel about moving sooner or next September.

OP having read your update I would take them out of private school at the end of the term. I think going from a private school to a state secondary would be a massive culture shock and a year in state primary would ease the transition for your eldest DC. Plus they can make friends and you can view different state secondaries.
You are already making so many sacrifices to send your DC to private school, think of the nice family things you could do as a family with the money you save.

@confusedlots exactly sounds miserable. Food is enjoyment and getting my weekend bits from M&S/Waitrose is happiness to me. Having to constantly budget is miserable.

You have already paid for next term. Take the younger child out, then you only have to pay fees for two more terms for the older child before they go to secondary and they only have one move to process. Most children change school at Y 7. Don’t forget to apply to a state secondary this autumn.

'Can’t afford school fees any longer'

If only there was a solution to this dilemma??

Sounds like it was always unaffordable if you can't afford the lifestyle which normally private educated DC enjoy. My BIL and his wife scrimped and scraped enough to pay for their eldest DC to go to private school and she was mixing with kids who had foreign holidays, concerts, theatre trips, ponies, lots of high spec tech and designer clothes etc etc so she was very resentful that they lived in a small house with no spare money for extras. All their money was going on private school fees. They couldn't afford for second DC to be educated privately so she went to a very good local faith school and did very well, Uni and good career. Their DD1 left school at 16, got in with a bad crowd and married a loser. No Uni but she openly admits she should just have gone to a normal school with no pressure to succeed academically.

I would take them both out and find some good local schools.

‘My BIL and his wife scrimped and scraped enough to pay for their eldest DC to go to private school and she was mixing with kids who had foreign holidays, concerts, theatre trips, ponies, lots of high spec tech and designer clothes etc etc so she was very resentful that they lived in a small house with no spare money for extras. ‘

This. Friends DD is in a well known private school, she gets 50% off but that still leaves friend finding a spare £20k a year.
DD is sulking because she didn’t get to go to see Harry Styles - her Best friends mum
source last min Tix through a contact but they were £800 each, plus travel, hotel for the night etc friend couldn’t afford it obvs.

We had the same dilemma. We chose to struggle and keep them in private education. I really wish we hadn't in hindsight they would have been perfectly fine in state school and we wouldn't have acrued debts and a massive mortgage

I would take the younger one out and move them to the state school. Keep older one there for Y6, just explain that there isn't a space for him at the new school. Then he can start at state secondary in Y7.

Your younger dc will hopefully quickly settle into their new school and make lots of new friends.

Keep the yr 6 in until the end of primary and move ‘normally’ for year 7. Year 6 is devoted to SATs so don’t move unless you have to. Do state for secondary (remember you have to apply next term).

Serve notice for the other and remove at Christmas ( if you’re paying you might as well get the benefit).

I would never move a happy child in year 6. Take the younger one out, leave the older one for year 6 and they can make a new start in year.

My brother went to private secondary and I went to state - no resentment from either side , it just worked out that way at the time. Although I did go private for A Levels.

What I would say though as due to moving house / area of the country prior to this I had 2 terms in year 6 before secondary and hated it. All friendships groups had been established for many years, some since nursery. I was much happier when I went into year 7 as there were other new children and the whole dynamic changed.

I would therefore say keep your older child where they are if at all possible, go to state school open days etc in the autumn and then let them start in year 7. As for the younger the sooner they move the better to integrate with current year group at state primary.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Is there one space available at the local school for either Y4 or Y6 or specifically only one space for Y4?
If it is just for Y4 in September, take the place and keep DC1 on the waiting list.
Is there a different local school with a place in Y6. Do they both go to the same secondary?

ridiculous. 8 year olds don’t do resentment for the sake of one year at primary. The answer is “we’ve moved you as we’ve got a place at a lovely school for year 4. They haven’t got a place for big sis so she’ll move next year and start her new school “

Totally agree with this !

I also agree with this. There isn’t a space at the primary for year 6, secondary schools have a number of feeders so much better to make friends in year 7.

If we are talking about resentment, the older child could resent having year 6 trying and failing to break into friendship groups and ending up at a different secondary to whatever friends she does make anyway!

It’s worth considering moving at start of year 5/year 7 but your issue with the primary school move is that you need to take up the space within a reasonable time of it being offered and there’s no guarantee there will be a space when year 5 comes around.

I think you're far more likely to have resentment from your year 6 child having to do 2 moves within the space of a year than a year 4 child working out in 20 years time that you spent a bit more money on her sibling which, if she does, you've got far bigger problems to deal with.

I'd do as others have said and try and keep them both private till end yr 6 then they've both had the same. If not possible then keep them both there for the next year and then they both move to state at the same time at least (DC1 to secondary and DC2 to a primary for 2 years). I'd also speak to the school about all this before making a decision and tell them you're considering moving them both now and see if they can help at all.

Myself and my two siblings spent a mixture of time in private and state schools as was appropriate for our age/stage and where we happened to be living at the time.

Inspired by this thread, I've today sat down and totted up who got most money spent on them/years in private school having never previously given it a second thought. It turns out I got the least! I've never been remotely resentful (or even realised) this before. What I am resentful of is that my younger siblings only went to 4 schools each as opposed to the 6 that I went to.

OP's children will have broadly similar experiences, if OP's funds allow (and the DC are interested) she could consider private school again at a later date.

This post will surely be a repetitive theme on MN if/when Labour add VAT to school fees. Where exactly are local authorities going to magic up the 100,000 + school places required? It’s such a terrible plan for everyone involved.