Can’t afford school fees any longer

[Whichwaytooo]

We have 2 DC (Year 3 and Year 5), both at private school. Our bills have more than doubled this year, but the big issue is our fixed rate mortgage ends in 7 months’ time and our monthly costs are going to go up massively.

Added to that school fees are increasing by 8% due to CoL, and then it’s looking like there will be VAT on top of that. It’s just no longer affordable for us.

We’re wondering whether to take younger DC out of their school now, and try to weather the storm for a year with older DC and then go state for secondary. But both love their school and I think it will cause huge resentment in younger DC. I do have the option of working 6 days a week to bring in more money but I feel that I hardly see my DC as it is. We have to pay next term’s fees anyway as haven’t given a term’s notice, but would it be easier to move both to state school at the beginning of a new school year?

Another issue is that there isn’t space for both DC at the same local school, so easier to justify keeping elder at current school for a year.

Sorry, a bit of a ramble but any advice would be appreciated.

Going against the grain here, I would keep yr5 in school if you possibly can for year 6 so they can sit the sats with their peers. Classes are always mixed up at senior school IMHO, friendships groups often change. I wouldn’t be concerned about moving a year 3 personally. Could Grandparents help with the fees? Have you spoken to school? Are you able to manage drop off and pick up in two different schools? Good luck, it’s a difficult, but necessary decision, by the sound of things

I'd check with the school's bursar to see if they can offer any support. Also do a strict budget review to see if any severe cutbacks can be made, including transport and extracurriculars. And any ways to bring in extra income - I'd think seriously about working those 6 days, plus any side hustles from home (see the thread in Money Matters).

Tbh, I'd be loathe to pull them out of school where they're doing well and are happy. Perhaps if they do well in 11+ they could get into grammar school and you can breathe easier once they're in senior school. You have to play the long game.

Apologies, private schools don’t always sit sats. Entirely your call OP, good luck going forward.

I agree with those who say you do need to talk to their current school - I appreciate that may be difficult if term has already finished but hopefully bursar/admin staff are still around.

As well as the possibility that they may be able to help you keep them there till the end of the next year / till the end of primary / some other variation; also search for external funding options. There are a number of charitable trusts around that will specifically support keeping children in a school till the end of their current phase of education. I rather suspect such trusts are overwhelmed with requests at present, and likely to prioritise children in the middle of exam years - but even if this doesn't help the OP, others may read this and know to look.

Definitely also keep working on plans to revert to state and understand the options in your area.

Keep in mind that parental interest in their education is one of the biggest positives any child can have. Whatever happens next, your kids should be fine.

This is what I'd do of you can afford one.

This is exactly the path that 2 separate friends of mine took. Each family has 3 children and the parents (all 4) said that they needed to deal with each child at a time. So different children attended different schools (state/private) as they needed. I had always wondered about sibling resentment. But the parents said they effectively had no other choice. It was perhaps the only time I was grateful I only had one. From what I can see as an outsider and all of these children are now in their 20's is that the siblings are close. Perhaps good communication is critical.

I think if possible I'd try to keep the older one at the school - moving schools twice within a year is a huge upheaval particularly in year 6 if they've spent all their education to date in the same place with the same people. At least the younger one will have 3 settled years to make new friends. If there isn't going to be room for the older one at the state school then you just explain it that way to the younger one. Perhaps the school would let you swap the 1xterm notice for each to 2xterm fees for the older one on the basis that way they'll get 1x extra term (summer for the oldest) out of you.

Obviously if you literally can't afford the third term then take them both out, now rather than waiting until January.

You've already committed to autumn term for both so that's only 2 more terms to pay for with both children until the end of year 6 and 4, you can see where you are financially then? Eldest goes to state secondary and you see if you can afford 2 more years to get the youngest to the same place.

It would be pretty unfair to move the eldest now so that would be a minimum. A clean break for both next year would be the second best option.

Not everything is about money.

The oldest DC is going to have to change to state secondary school soon anyway. Making this DC move to a state primary school two terms before that happens isn't helpful, it's disruptive. The younger DC is going to be in state primary school before going to state secondary, in terms of disruption it's not going to make any difference to that DC whether (s)he moves the next school year or a later one, (s)he'll still go through the upheaval of losing their friends regardless. I'm certain primary age DC value their friendships more than the cost of their education.

OP life isn't fair. No need for moving one DC to cause resentment. You don't have to be the bad guys, blame the school. Tell both DC you can't afford their school any more, but the new school only has space for the younger DC, so oldest DC must remain where they are until secondary school. Neither DC is going to start investigating this, realise there are other state primary schools with spaces and call you a liar.

Speak to the school. They may be able to help you. They may have a hardship fund to help tide you over, or at worst you may be able to spread school fees over a longer period - if your eldest only has one more year at the school, that may help as you could move to a state school next year but ask to have a payment plan to pay over 2 or 3 years. Just how far short of being able to pay are you?

Will your eldest be sitting any exams at the beginning of the academic year e.g. 11+ or entrance exams? If so, you obviously don't want to move them before that, but Christmas might be ok....

It is tricky if younger child has different experience than older child. But sometimes it can't be helped.

Your mortgage will go up with interest rate IF you keep the term the same. Is there any possibility of extending the term and keeping payments the same? Have you spoken to them? They might be more flexible than you realise. Extending the term actually gives them more money in the long term, so costs you more but might buy you time until eldest finishes current school.

Sorry that you're in a difficult position. Good luck.

If you want the state move, move the one where there is a vacancy, appeal for the other - as ks2 it will be a 2 stage appeal and good chance with a sibling in. Check with the LA if you can apply in September for a spring term start (Jan) when you've given notice. Be mindful you will be applying for y7 for your current y5 in September so think about catchment/'feeders' to enable them to make some friends likely to attend the preferred state.
Speak to the LA for advice on process and previous offers. They will be busy now as it is the end of term and it is usually chaos, bear with them! 😊

Speak to the school about hardship funds, that's what they're for. I'd definitely be trying to move both of them at the same time, ideally do a year more for both if you can. Good point on the mortgage term too, if you can stretch it you may find that's enough to hang on until a better time to swap over.

If you’re in London then children move in and out of state schools all the time, so personally I’d move them after Christmas. It will give you longer to try to get them into a school together and for them to come round the plan.

Have you tried applying for a bursary?

Thank you so much for all the supportive comments and suggestions on here; I truly appreciate it.

I have emailed the school to request a meeting, it’s embarrassing to admit we’re struggling to pay but worth it if the school can offer any help. I agree it makes sense to keep them both at their current school for one more year if we possibly can. We probably could keep DC2 only in the school until end of Y6, but again I’m worried about the dynamic of paying for one and not the other. Especially as the school goes up to 6th form and DC1 is going to be devastated to leave.

I hadn’t thought of changing the term of the mortgage to reduce payments, so will look into that too and see where it leaves us.

We live pretty frugally to afford the fees as it is, so not really anything we can cut back on except the dog (and she’s staying): small car, no holidays or meals out, no subscriptions or memberships. Neither DC bright enough for scholarship. Grandparents are unlikely to be willing to help with fees as (rightly) enjoying their retirement.

All that scrimping and saving. Is it really worth it? Have you checked out the quality of your local state schools?

Nothing happens SATS are for the school not the child. What are you thinking would happen exactly?

I would do everything I could to get DC1 through to the end of year 6 and then send them to state secondary school.

I’d then also keep DC2 in until end of year 6 and then send them to state secondary too, this way you only have one more year of paying for them both and hopefully you can afford the last two years of DC2 on their own as only one set of fees.

To me that’s the fairest way. Everyone saying it’s fair to take them both out at the same time, how does that make sense?? DC1 would then have had two more years of private education vs DC1?

I’d also be planning to save for private 6th form for them.

I know of literally no one that keeps a running total of what they spent on their children so they can ensure it's exactly equal. Do you factor in inflation as well?

The perceived inequality might be if the private school was delivering a demonstrably better standard of education/experience than the state school, so the younger DC missed out. But equally the younger DC might like the local state school better!

I'm going through divorce at present and vast drop in income and debt due to business failures etc. My DC are secondary and I feel they're too old to cope with the move and the state schools here are not great. I attended state school once myself, after my parents divorce, and it wasn't too bad but I was much younger and the school was good.

My family have been helping out financially, with school and extra curricular.

I would do the extra hours if you can, but if you're only just managing to pay (at the age when private school is usually cheaper) then it might be better to move them to state sooner rather than later.

Some schools only set GCSE target grades based on SATs, no SATs, no update to target grades throughout secondary. This can affect whether you are invited for GCSE support sessions. No SATs mean they have less incentive to support you.

Yes it is true, yes it is crazy using year 6 Eng and maths scores to base the year 11 French grade. That is ultimately what some schools do to boost their progress 8 scores. No point in putting energy into a child who has a target of 5 and likely to get a 6 to bump their scores to a 7.

Ultimately though OP your dc will be fine in state schools, there are some benefits in moving the yr5/6 child sooner in that they will make new friends, if nearby they can walk to school. Year 6 does tend to focus on SATs though which is boring and some children find stressful. Children move throughout the year so I would focus on which school and take spaces for either child when offered. They won't save the space for you.

At that age, children want to be with their parents. Don’t work 6 days a week and never see them. They’ll hate it. You’ve only got a few more years until they won’t want to be seen dead with you unless you’re giving them a lift to town. Be with your children - pull them both out.

Some schools only set GCSE target grades based on SATs, no SATs, no update to target grades throughout secondary. This can affect whether you are invited for GCSE support sessions. No SATs mean they have less incentive to support you.

I appreciate that not everyone has the luxury of choice (we didn't) but a school that bases its teaching on SATS results and not the actual child sitting in front of them, is one I'd suggest to avoid anyway.

Honestly, I’d bite the bullet and focus on finding state places. That way you know that the financial pressure is off (obviously, I understand that you will still be lumbered with next term’s fees).

Ultimately, you can’t afford it, so the sooner you stop paying, the better your quality of life will be. And until the move is made, it’s going to be looming over your family.

Another one saying move both or neither.

You've got time, as you've already said you have to pay next term's fees.

Apply as normal for state secondary - deadline is October time. I can see the logic in keeping both in until the Y6/Y7 transition, and I would probably try and make that happen via hardship fund/working extra hours etc. DON'T TELL THE SCHOOL YOU ARE THINKING OF LEAVING when you mention hardship funds.

Scope out state primaries as well. You'll soon know what your remortgage costs are going to be and whether you can stretch an extra year of fees (round here preps are £5k/term plus extras) but it may not be worth the hit to your family finances. There is no way I would go for any more private school after next year - the strain on your finances will be huge and not worth it IMO.