Food that’s not worth the effort

[BarrelOfOtters]

Crab…picked yourself
Unfilleted fish
globe artichoke all that finiking for some little bites

"Friends, this is not a recipe for slimmers. "

I know. As I was making it, I thought, this is so easy and the ingredients so clearly bad for you , if it actually tastes nice it'll be @Britinme's bastard fault if I'm about 2 stone heavier by the end of the summer.
It tastes nice. Really nice. Bollocks.

I "poach" eggs in the microwave. I spray a cup with non-stick spray (butter flavoured is best) and break an egg into it. I pierce the white and the yolk several times with a skewer and then microwave it for about a minute (depending if you want it soft or firm). Works for me.

@powershowerforanhour - I hereby disclaim all liability!

For egg mayo I crack the eggs into a silicone bun/muffin dish, then into the oven for ten or more minutes until they are firm. Pop them out, cool them down and make egg mayo.

Poached eggs the same, into the silicone muffin dish, into a frying pan of lightly bubbling water, cover with lid and cook to your favourite consistency. I suppose I could do this for egg mayo too, but I can be a bit more relaxed about timing when in the oven for hard eggs.

I don't do them very often, but for egg mayo, a potato ricer is great for mashing them up. Well I don't like the white of egg much so that way it is not so "there" when riced.

But poaching eggs is even more hassle than boiling them
No - just break into a pan with some simmering water and a splash of vinegar if you want. You can see when they're done enough, take out with a slotted spoon. Easier than timing and peeling.

I don't do them very often, but for egg mayo, a potato ricer is great for mashing them up. Well I don't like the white of egg much so that way it is not so "there" when riced.

I'm the opposite - I chop the eggs rather than mash them!

Goose.

I've been known to indulge myself by making yoke only egg mayo. I just don't like the texture of the white, but will eat it if it is not in big chunks!

Tastes great but doesn't taste like custard....

*yolk

tastes fine to me. love it on top of a bit of crumble or stewed apple in winter. Nice quick desert without all the faff

😂😂😂

Cottage/shepherds pie. It’s just okay and it takes a million years and every cooking receptacle in the house.

Moussaka what a faff I salted the aubergines and made to sauce it was ok but i was expecting something amazing

roast dinners I make great Yorkshire puddings but I can’t seem to serve everything warm

Fruit it’s just too messy

My mum thought up an even better (in her mid) short cut to egg sandwiches - scrambled eggs. Cold scrambled eggs with no mayonnaise or salad cream. 🤢🤢🤢

Mind - not mid.

Most cakes and desserts, especially cheesecake. Love the stuff as an occasional treat, but making it yourself….nah.

Home made cakes do taste lovely I admit, but not ‘5 dirty bowls and scrub the kitchen down’ worthy.

Cheesecake is one of the few I bother to make, I love it almost as much as Yorkshire puddings But it requires crazy amounts of cream cheese (funnily enough..) so it works out rather expensive.

Okay nobody has asked for my hummus recipe but I am sharing it anyway. I'm nice like that (!).

It took me AGES to get to where I was satisfied with it, and I still often buy shop bought but for those who like to cook, and It's also good for money saving...

It's one of those things that is simple, but not easy.

Use canned chickpeas unless you have a guarantee that you'll live forever and will happily lay on your deathbed with no regrets.

Try to buy some that are plump. If you can find jarred chickpeas (few and far between nowadays) you've got a run up.

Boil them for about 20 mins-half an hr.

Take one lemon. Stick a cocktail stick or cake tester pin in it all the way through. Once ten mins are left on the chickpeas, boil the lemon (yes, really).

Once the chickpeas and lemon are cooled, make yourself a flask and some sandwiches and sit down and peel the chickpeas.

Feed the chickpea peels to your dog (they love it for some unknown flippin' reason). If you don't have a dog, I don't know what to do with you.

Cut in half and take pips out of the lemon (resist the temptation to finger it).

Chuck the chickpeas into a blender with half the lemon (skin 'n all), a good glug of olive oil (the best you can afford but to be honest once you get a bit past 'basics' stage, it doesn't make much difference), one clove of garlic, a generous pinch of salt and a large ice cube (I use the spherical ice cubes from the silicon molds but I am old school).

Most online recipes call for tahini but i find it makes little difference and I can never be bothered keeping it in the house.

Blend, pulse, blend. If it goes sticky, chuck in some ice cold water or more lemon juice from the other half if you don't mind a more citrusy 'zing' to your hummus.

Taste.

Add more of whatever until It's almost as perfect as what you could buy from the shop for £2.

You're welcome

(In all seriousness, pepper, paprika flakes or chilli flakes make a good addition too. The person who decided caramelised onion belongs in it though, should probably check if anything else is wrong with them).

I always make my own cheesecake. Bought is rubbish in comparison. I bloody love cheesecake. 😝

I'm sure that hummus is delicious, but life is too short to peel chickpeas IMHO.

I kind of agree. However life is also too short to eat gritty hummus so this is a very real dilemma of mine.

Anything I ever had to cook! (Get prepared meals now, just reheat them in the microwave, thank Bast.)

People aren’t saying the things are impossible or they don’t know how to do them, just not worth the effort.

Cottage pie is a meal I can take or leave. Boring, bland. It involves too much work for how nice it is to eat. Fish pie I like more so I do sometimes do that.