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Inheritance - karma

100 replies

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 13:25

I may well be shot down in flames so have namechanged, but I just felt like sharing my amusement at what looks like poetic justice following the death of my father last week. Sorry if this offends anyone - I am mourning for him but my feelings are a bit all over the place.

I always assumed there would be no inheritance from my father who was an ordinary working class man renting a flat with his second wife, with no owned property except a small shed-sized garden hut on rented land, which I was told years ago belonged to his wife anyway. She also owns a flat inherited from her parents which my younger half-brother lives in, but I never even entertained any thought of that as it belongs to her and my half-brother after her.

But after he died his wife brought up his estate and asked me to do my part in obtaining necessary forms etc. During the discussion she casually mentioned that there was a modest pot of joint savings which they had agreed would go to her after his death unless I wished to contest it. I just laughed and said of course not. But it turns out the estate may be rather larger than I ever imagined, consisting of possibly larger savings than she declared (she declared £10k), the hut which in fact is part of the estate and not hers only, and even potentially the flat which, while small, is in a prime location so might fetch £400k, easily.

What got me suspicious was that she was only talking about the estate as consisting of very modest savings of £10k or so, which divided between her and three surviving children would only yield 1-2k per child which is not worth fighting for, but what she didn't make clear was that the two properties are most likely going to count as part of their joint marital assets, and that she was trying to persuade me not to contest the fact that it would all go to her! Before anyone says anything this is in a different country where the widow does not automatically inherit everything if there are surviving children. And by the sounds of it he didn't make a will which would have been characteristic of my father who was very obstinate at not being forced to do anything and didn't want to even think about his death. I think her talking about 'contesting' is misleading as I don't think there is a will at all.

I'm not so desperate for the money as it won't be megabucks anyway, but it's the principle. I have two children who are my late father's only grandchildren so it does surprise me that they wouldn't even feature in my stepmother's calculations. We are not well off as a family while not on the breadline either. My older brother, however, who is a single man, is almost literally on the breadline after a very difficult childhood living with my father and his second wife and having multiple problems due to the trauma.

And while this is an already long tale just to point out that my stepmother and father had an affair and he left my mother and his two children for her, and she was already pregnant when they were still married. And while these things happen, they both went on to inflict much cruelty on us over the years, which has not exactly endeared them to me.

Anyway, my stepmother is carefully manoeuvering away and I think trying to butter me up, but it is increasingly beginning to look like the state will not let her simply claim everything but that we, the surviving children, will see the extent of the estate in due course and can then make up our minds as to what we do. I already said to her that I thought it would only be fair that the proceeds from the sale of the hut would be divided between the four of us.

Apologies for the sketchy details, I'm really not clued up about these things!

OP posts:
adriftabroad · 04/07/2023 17:52

You do not sound nice. Hope karma works out for you.

huntingcunting · 04/07/2023 17:52

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 17:41

Although I don't know exactly how it works, whether he left a will etc. I'm going by what she has told me as she is dealing with things. I googled a bit and found out that I think regardless of anything I'm entitled to one sixth of his estate as my legal share. The widow gets half and me and my two siblings split the other half. But she was also talking about contesting so I don't know exactly how things stand. I guess I'll find out from the notary in due course. But I suspect their joint account may have been frozen as why would she otherwise even be talking to me about their savings if she didn't know that I would eventually see how much there is. And she was talking about having a cash float at home for 'expenses', such as me getting the required legal certificates.

Is she from that country? Or lived there a long time?
She's probably assuming that you won't know the law there.
Talk to the notary in August when you are over there and just let things pan out. She won't be able to "hide" assets or anything like that.

Tetchypants · 04/07/2023 17:57

Bloody hell. Can people not even be arsed to read the first post properly before steaming in with their very knowledgeable and important legal advice? 😂

Choux · 04/07/2023 17:58

Sounds similar to Belgium then "New rules introduced in September 2018 mean that children of the deceased must share half of the estate, regardless of how many children there are. The surviving spouse or partner receives the remaining portion for the rest of their life."

If the main asset is a property she lives in and she now needs to give 1/3 of its' value to you and your brother she may need to either sell it or get a loan etc to give you your share.

Though I don't know why she would have the property in joint names with your dad if she inherited it from her parents. Are you sure it is a joint asset? Unless it IS Belgium you are talking about and she gave him half before the 2018 law and he then refused to transfer his half back to her to protect her inherited asset.

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 18:01

huntingcunting · 04/07/2023 17:52

Is she from that country? Or lived there a long time?
She's probably assuming that you won't know the law there.
Talk to the notary in August when you are over there and just let things pan out. She won't be able to "hide" assets or anything like that.

No, we are all from the same country in which they still live (although my father has now passed away) and I live abroad. But this is the first time I'm dealing with anything like this so I don't know the law on this in my native country. But I'll wait to speak to the notary when I get there.

OP posts:
cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 18:03

I don't know if the flat is a joint asset, probably not and that's OK as it was always hers. I was saying as I don't know the law that if it turned out to be counted as a joint asset I would take my legal share if offered it.

OP posts:
cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 18:12

adriftabroad · 04/07/2023 17:52

You do not sound nice. Hope karma works out for you.

No, I suppose I'm not.

But do you think I should turn down a legal inheritance (if offered it) that I can use to benefit my children (and my father's grandchildren) just to be 'nice'? Do you think his wife is nice in asking me to give up or trying to swindle me out of my share of the inheritance (never mind all the other stuff she did)?

OP posts:
adriftabroad · 04/07/2023 18:13

See the notary and good luck. He was married.

LetUsPounce · 04/07/2023 18:16

If it's Germany then it's also pretty much as huntingcunting described for Austria. That may also explain why she asked you about "not contesting" since in Germany you would actively have to turn down the part of your father's estate that would come to you automatically by law (the "Pflichtteil") in order for her to inherit it. It's a process called "Erbeausschlagung". Exactly which assets belong to the estate will need to be established though as it depends on how your father and his wife elected to hold their assets as a married couple - there are different models. In any event, I'd see the notary as soon as possible.

ElEmEnOhPee · 04/07/2023 18:17

My dad remarried, I have a younger half sister. If her grandparents left her mother a property and then my father died I would absolutely never want a share of that and to do so would be akin to robbing my own sibling of their inheritance that came from their grandparents, not mine. I can't believe anyone would be okay with that.

Choux · 04/07/2023 18:19

www.coupleseurope.eu is an interesting website. Assuming the country in question is an EU one.

I am not a lawyer and I don't know if this is a 100% accurate site but it seems to cover what happens on death of a spouse in each country.

Some countries give the surviving spouse usufruct so that the children must let the surviving spouse continue to live in the marital home.

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 18:20

Choux · 04/07/2023 18:19

www.coupleseurope.eu is an interesting website. Assuming the country in question is an EU one.

I am not a lawyer and I don't know if this is a 100% accurate site but it seems to cover what happens on death of a spouse in each country.

Some countries give the surviving spouse usufruct so that the children must let the surviving spouse continue to live in the marital home.

She lives in a rented home. My half brother lives in the home she owns.

OP posts:
Chocolateship · 04/07/2023 18:22

And while these things happen, they both went on to inflict much cruelty on us over the years, which has not exactly endeared them to me.

Well why are you surprised if you know what she's like? Weirdly people who dislike their parents are always happy to lay stake to their inheritance. Unsure how it's karma though if the law in the country stipulates it goes to his children- do you think she won't know this and won't have planned for this?

QueensBees · 04/07/2023 18:22

adriftabroad · 04/07/2023 17:52

You do not sound nice. Hope karma works out for you.

The OP hasn’t done anything at all.she isn’t trying to take anything away from her step mum. So how is she doing anything ‘not very nice’?

But the law is the law and she is lucky that it’s all happening in the country where everything is going through a notary.
The step-mum will have to follow the rules/law.

Seeing someone who has not being nice to you over the years, has shown some quite bad sides suddenly struggling because the law isn’t on their side and they won’t get their own way is ok. It’s not ‘not being nice’.

HamBone · 04/07/2023 18:26

I don’t think the OP is being nasty. She suspects that her SM is trying to swindle her and her older brother out of their legal share of her Dad’s assets and that’s not ok.

Neither her Dad not her SM sound like nice people- her Dad never paying any child maintenance is appalling.

I’d see the notary and ensure that the estate is processed correctly according to the law in that country. Tbh, I’d contact the notary now and get the ball rolling. Once everything is sorted out, cut ties with your SM. Neither you nor your brother need someone like that in your lives.

Quitelikeit · 04/07/2023 18:31

This is a great story especially considering she didn’t even want to give you 1 or 2k from the pot!

Consider your inheritance compensation for what you endured as a child.

Im sure your father must have been aware about you getting something.

I believe in Scotland the law is similar and you can’t disinherit your children.

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 18:33

Chocolateship · 04/07/2023 18:22

And while these things happen, they both went on to inflict much cruelty on us over the years, which has not exactly endeared them to me.

Well why are you surprised if you know what she's like? Weirdly people who dislike their parents are always happy to lay stake to their inheritance. Unsure how it's karma though if the law in the country stipulates it goes to his children- do you think she won't know this and won't have planned for this?

I suppose I'm not surprised but a little Hmm because while they may not have liked me very much they both always seemed very keen on the grandchildren.

OP posts:
HamBone · 04/07/2023 18:41

they both always seemed very keen on the grandchildren.

Even so, they sound as if money was always important more important to them than other people.

TimesRwo · 04/07/2023 18:48

Doesn’t sound like what you are doing is morally or legally wrong. She tried to screw you over in relation to what’s rightfully yours so that it can go to her and her children. I don’t necessarily blame her for wanting to protect herself, but it’s that your step siblings will essentially end up with what should have been your inheritance.

You’ve now ensured it’s going to be treated lawfully instead.

Allthingsbrightandbeautifulx · 04/07/2023 18:54

WOW, how many times do people need to be corrected.

NOT UK, doesn’t matter if he was married the same rules don’t apply where they live. Its stated right there in the OP!

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 04/07/2023 18:58

Definitely get a solicitor. I reckon the SM is being ‘nice’ as she will claim that he has no dc and try and keep it for herself. Good luck 💐

Ibizafun · 04/07/2023 19:20

I have no idea as to the legal situation of the country you are in, but morally how could you justify going after a flat owned by her and bought by her own parents? Surely this doesn't make you any better than her??

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 19:29

Ibizafun · 04/07/2023 19:20

I have no idea as to the legal situation of the country you are in, but morally how could you justify going after a flat owned by her and bought by her own parents? Surely this doesn't make you any better than her??

No, I guess you're right, and I might not even think about if I felt she was open and honest with me about things. A couple of weeks ago we were weeping together at his bedside. But it has got my back up that she is being underhand about things, and trying to emotionally blackmail me into giving up my legal share or even trying to hide things. So I currently have less qualms about it.

But it's not the question of me going after anything, but thinking of what I would do if I was awarded my legal share of that property as well. Which is unlikely.

My main qualm, actually, wouldn't be her but potentially forcing my brother to have to move out of that flat. But I also think that they could easily sell it and buy a place for him in a less prestigious area. It's not his childhood home. And together they would, after all, have two thirds of its value.

OP posts:
TheLifeofMe · 04/07/2023 19:32

Personally, I would contest this and whatever money you can claim, you can out away for your kids (his grandchildren)

HamBone · 04/07/2023 19:43

Ibizafun · 04/07/2023 19:20

I have no idea as to the legal situation of the country you are in, but morally how could you justify going after a flat owned by her and bought by her own parents? Surely this doesn't make you any better than her??

If they follow the legal process in that country and the flat is part of the estate, it’s not really “going after” anything.

I appreciate your point though, @Ibizafun but if it turns out that the SM is trying to swindle the OP and her older brother, I can understand why they might choose not to take the moral high ground. It’s so sad that they ended up with such a lousy Dad and SM.