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Inheritance - karma

100 replies

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 13:25

I may well be shot down in flames so have namechanged, but I just felt like sharing my amusement at what looks like poetic justice following the death of my father last week. Sorry if this offends anyone - I am mourning for him but my feelings are a bit all over the place.

I always assumed there would be no inheritance from my father who was an ordinary working class man renting a flat with his second wife, with no owned property except a small shed-sized garden hut on rented land, which I was told years ago belonged to his wife anyway. She also owns a flat inherited from her parents which my younger half-brother lives in, but I never even entertained any thought of that as it belongs to her and my half-brother after her.

But after he died his wife brought up his estate and asked me to do my part in obtaining necessary forms etc. During the discussion she casually mentioned that there was a modest pot of joint savings which they had agreed would go to her after his death unless I wished to contest it. I just laughed and said of course not. But it turns out the estate may be rather larger than I ever imagined, consisting of possibly larger savings than she declared (she declared £10k), the hut which in fact is part of the estate and not hers only, and even potentially the flat which, while small, is in a prime location so might fetch £400k, easily.

What got me suspicious was that she was only talking about the estate as consisting of very modest savings of £10k or so, which divided between her and three surviving children would only yield 1-2k per child which is not worth fighting for, but what she didn't make clear was that the two properties are most likely going to count as part of their joint marital assets, and that she was trying to persuade me not to contest the fact that it would all go to her! Before anyone says anything this is in a different country where the widow does not automatically inherit everything if there are surviving children. And by the sounds of it he didn't make a will which would have been characteristic of my father who was very obstinate at not being forced to do anything and didn't want to even think about his death. I think her talking about 'contesting' is misleading as I don't think there is a will at all.

I'm not so desperate for the money as it won't be megabucks anyway, but it's the principle. I have two children who are my late father's only grandchildren so it does surprise me that they wouldn't even feature in my stepmother's calculations. We are not well off as a family while not on the breadline either. My older brother, however, who is a single man, is almost literally on the breadline after a very difficult childhood living with my father and his second wife and having multiple problems due to the trauma.

And while this is an already long tale just to point out that my stepmother and father had an affair and he left my mother and his two children for her, and she was already pregnant when they were still married. And while these things happen, they both went on to inflict much cruelty on us over the years, which has not exactly endeared them to me.

Anyway, my stepmother is carefully manoeuvering away and I think trying to butter me up, but it is increasingly beginning to look like the state will not let her simply claim everything but that we, the surviving children, will see the extent of the estate in due course and can then make up our minds as to what we do. I already said to her that I thought it would only be fair that the proceeds from the sale of the hut would be divided between the four of us.

Apologies for the sketchy details, I'm really not clued up about these things!

OP posts:
Ihatepickingausername3 · 04/07/2023 14:58

Like you said. Karma

Pythonesque · 04/07/2023 14:58

Gallows humour can be a very good coping measure in some circumstances. Especially useful when you have very mixed up feelings as it sounds like you are entitled to.

I'm sorry for your loss - which is clearly a loss yet conflicted. You seem to have a very sensible attitude to managing what happens next.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 04/07/2023 14:59

Don't forget that his estate is only half of the marital assets.

theemmadilemma · 04/07/2023 15:00

Is it France where they split it automatically between spouse and children?

Maybe she isn't familiar with the law if she's not native. Many won't be.

How lovely for you!

drivinmecrazy · 04/07/2023 15:18

Notary's are not exclusive to France!

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 15:21

(really hope she's not reading this or there'll be WW3 and we haven't even had the funeral yet! 😱)

OP posts:
PinkIcedCream · 04/07/2023 15:21

I’m guessing maybe he died in Ireland. The rules here are different to the UK and include provision for all the children to inherit equally, although it’s a bit more complex than that, depending on the assets.

My DH has a lot of first editions of books and some are worth quite a bit. Definitely see if you can take some photos of the Copyright page of the books that include the edition number and then look them up on something like Abebooks.

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 15:30

I think she thought my brother and I would be too dim/naive to realise what was going on but I cottoned on and now I suspect there are sleepless nights 😂

OP posts:
gemtart · 04/07/2023 15:46

redhaire · 04/07/2023 13:34

ok, I've just re read it. He doesn't have a will so the money from his assets will transfer to his legal next of kin, his wife. Unless she's feeling kind and generous, very slim chance of you getting anything. Unfair,
probably.
But the law.

She literally said "Before anyone says anything this is in a different country where the widow does not automatically inherit everything if there are surviving children" in the first post.

gemtart · 04/07/2023 15:49

Sorry for your loss OP. I also agree it is karma because people who scheme the most, ultimately end up worrying the most. It's fine to worry about getting one's fair share but that's different from being grabby.

Handbagger99 · 04/07/2023 15:50

You wanted to gloat and you have. I'm afraid you lost me when you said you'd be fine with taking half of the inheritance she got from her parents.

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 15:54

Handbagger99 · 04/07/2023 15:50

You wanted to gloat and you have. I'm afraid you lost me when you said you'd be fine with taking half of the inheritance she got from her parents.

I did and I'm OK with that. I suspect she has tried to cheat me out of anything and if I find out that is the case then I will feel justified taking whatever I am given.

Plus, if you think about it, she took what was not hers = my dad, someone else's husband and a father of two. And as I said he never paid a penny in child maintenance over the years.

OP posts:
sadlittlelifejane · 04/07/2023 16:18

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 15:54

I did and I'm OK with that. I suspect she has tried to cheat me out of anything and if I find out that is the case then I will feel justified taking whatever I am given.

Plus, if you think about it, she took what was not hers = my dad, someone else's husband and a father of two. And as I said he never paid a penny in child maintenance over the years.

Well, she didn't take anyone. Your dad = a human being with his own mind. It's not her job to pay maintenance so that point isn't relevant.

However, if she's tried to manipulate you out of the rest of your inheritance, subsequently leaving your dad's other child a hefty chunk when she dies, then you deserve your share.

EggInANest · 04/07/2023 16:19

Sorry for this ending to a long and difficult history with your Dad.

She may well be being manipulative etc, but in the end your Dad is the one who betrayed your Mum, failed to pay child support, and now to make a will leaving anything to you. It’s down to him.

I hope the law will ensure you are treated as you should be within the law.

Borntobeamum · 04/07/2023 16:19

I take it your dad went willingly?
I find your post quite disturbing really.

I lost both parents suddenly and as joint executor of the Will, I’ve had many many sleepless nights just trying to get access to what is now mine. Legally Mine.

It’s not a walk in the park.
If you are due something, I hope you get it.

The tone of your post is unpleasant to me.
That’s just My opinion.

bellac11 · 04/07/2023 16:30

I wouldnt wait until August to see the notary

backinthebox · 04/07/2023 16:31

I can’t see how this thread is about anything more than an unpleasant little gloat. Seems to me that OP is nastily scheming just as much as she makes her stepmother out to be. Grief makes people act in strange ways, but from my own experience of the way people behaved in the immediate days after my father’s death the schemers and the chancers were already talking about things like bank accounts and valuations while I was still trying to organise a dignified funeral. They were not nice people.

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 16:38

For the last few posters: I'm under no illusions about being a nice person, after all, I was partly brought up by my dad and stepmum. I think many people are very invested in having a moral high ground or coming across as 'nice people'. In this case, I'm more interested in what I see as justice, or, perhaps more accurately, I will take some pleasure if I end up witnessing her plottings and schemings come to nothing.

OP posts:
cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 16:47

backinthebox · 04/07/2023 16:31

I can’t see how this thread is about anything more than an unpleasant little gloat. Seems to me that OP is nastily scheming just as much as she makes her stepmother out to be. Grief makes people act in strange ways, but from my own experience of the way people behaved in the immediate days after my father’s death the schemers and the chancers were already talking about things like bank accounts and valuations while I was still trying to organise a dignified funeral. They were not nice people.

And just to clarify: I didn't bring up his estate at all, I didn't think there was anything there for me. She brought it up, saying there were savings which were hers unless I wanted to contest that. And in a separate context she mentioned the cottage, which, after a while, I asked about and she then admitted that it would be a part of the estate.

OP posts:
huntingcunting · 04/07/2023 17:03

Well if it's somewhere like Austria (and Germany might be the same) there's a Pflichtteil which has to be left to children and the spouse. I think it's a total of half the estate. This is irrespective of what is in the will. So even if the deceased said he wanted everything left to the local animal shelter, during the official process of distributing the estate, half of the estate would be distributed equally between any surviving spouse and any children.
The process is automatic and begins once someone dies. I don't know how it works - but there are no executors here. Bank accounts are closed automatically and so on and so forth and eventually the rightful heirs receive their portion.

So yeah, if the OP is somewhere like that, the wife can't do anything about it.
Still, I think it would be worth your while consulting a notary to find out what the laws and procedure are where your father lived.

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 17:14

huntingcunting · 04/07/2023 17:03

Well if it's somewhere like Austria (and Germany might be the same) there's a Pflichtteil which has to be left to children and the spouse. I think it's a total of half the estate. This is irrespective of what is in the will. So even if the deceased said he wanted everything left to the local animal shelter, during the official process of distributing the estate, half of the estate would be distributed equally between any surviving spouse and any children.
The process is automatic and begins once someone dies. I don't know how it works - but there are no executors here. Bank accounts are closed automatically and so on and so forth and eventually the rightful heirs receive their portion.

So yeah, if the OP is somewhere like that, the wife can't do anything about it.
Still, I think it would be worth your while consulting a notary to find out what the laws and procedure are where your father lived.

Yes, it's something like that.

Love your username BTW

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 04/07/2023 17:25

All assets go to his wife that's the law

unfortunateevents · 04/07/2023 17:30

Maddy70 · 04/07/2023 17:25

All assets go to his wife that's the law

The law where? Have you read the OPs first post, where she states that this is not in the UK, or any of the many subsequent posts which have also mentioned this?

Mumoftwoinprimary · 04/07/2023 17:38

unfortunateevents · 04/07/2023 17:30

The law where? Have you read the OPs first post, where she states that this is not in the UK, or any of the many subsequent posts which have also mentioned this?

Yep - and it is not even the law in England and Wales. The spouse gets the first £270k and half of anything else. The kids share the other half over £270k.

I have no idea why people share things that are “the law” when they know absolutely nothing about the subject. (And haven’t bothered to read the post.)

cheekymaren · 04/07/2023 17:41

Although I don't know exactly how it works, whether he left a will etc. I'm going by what she has told me as she is dealing with things. I googled a bit and found out that I think regardless of anything I'm entitled to one sixth of his estate as my legal share. The widow gets half and me and my two siblings split the other half. But she was also talking about contesting so I don't know exactly how things stand. I guess I'll find out from the notary in due course. But I suspect their joint account may have been frozen as why would she otherwise even be talking to me about their savings if she didn't know that I would eventually see how much there is. And she was talking about having a cash float at home for 'expenses', such as me getting the required legal certificates.

OP posts: