Anyone else just hate working, no matter what the job is?

[DrSheppard]

I'm in a pretty good job right now - the people are nice enough, the pay is very good, the subject matter is relatively interesting and it's flexible (can mostly work from home). But each and every day I struggle. I've felt like this in every job I have, and I've had a fair few! I dislike the routine of work. I dislike meetings and emails and workshops. I hate going into the office especially - I hate the glaring lights, sitting at a desk all day and the feeling of being boxed in. Even in the best of jobs I've had, this feeling never goes away.

I just don't care about work, frankly. I do what I need to do and always get great performance reviews, but I have zero investment in the outcome of what I do. Every day when I log off I breathe a sigh of relief, but the thought of doing this for the next 30+ years is awful. Sometimes I think about retraining but I really don't know if that'd 'fix' it, since I'm already in a well-paid and comfortable role and I've already dabbled in a fair few types of roles. Does anyone else feel this way?

We're pretty sure this is the case with SIL.

Unlike places like Singapore where 12+ hours are the norm.

Interesting as I used to live and work in Singapore. I had a 10 minute commute on a very good, cheap infrastructure. I didn't work long hours although I worked hard, and travelled. I had a 1-1.5 hour lunch every day and loads of breaks. My DH had a very senior role there. We both agree that living there was the best quality of life we have ever had. We were expats, so had a good life, but the locals have a much better quality of life than your average Brit.

I could have wrote your post OP. Always felt like there's something wrong with me.

I had a dream last night that I met a billionaire and lived as a very well kept lady of leisure. That's the life i think i needed

I absolutely hate my work. It's totally different type of job I ever did but I am only doing it as I have to, but every day I feel sick, my stomach hurts so much daily since I wake up, totally sick of it!
My manager is horrible, keeps giving me dirty eyes nonstop.

I'm happy where I am. I work from home 3 days a week and in the office 2. I say work from home but I rarely have ANYTHING I have to do. I actually struggle with filling my days in the office to be fair. If I was in the office 5 days, I'd have to change jobs as there's only so many breaks and chats you can have, then you still have a few hours to try and fill (you should see my budget spreadsheet, it's amazing!!).

I'm on roughly the average industrial wage for the country I am in and there's a decent increase every year. It's incredibly secure too. I actually applied for a different role on a few grand more as that particular day I felt a bit unsatisfied by my 'job', but I've since realised this is better than stressed with a growing to-do list, so I think I'll stay put while the children are young at least.

Personally I love working, and don’t really get the idea that other things are more important. I think one of the few sensible things Freud ever said was that ‘love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.’

Having said that, clearly you’re not happy. I know doing something else will likely involve retraining and debt/belt-tightening, but it might be worth continuing to look around for work that you get more fulfilment from.

I really hate it too op especially since dc. Like you I will work for as long as I have to. When I get totally fed up with it I try to think of the advantages: money obviously, the feeling of well deserved time off and the fact that work is always there to focus on even if you’re going through a shit time in your personal life or even just a bad day.

I know!

😭

Fair enough. Though one of the things I like about being a SAHM (even though I'm not allowed to call myself that on MN now that my children are all over 18) is that I can suit myself. I have never been very good at being told what to do - though, again, I suppose this is why SAHMing has suited me, as I have been 'self employed' and have set all the rules...

I think I’ve just found my patron saint.

Interesting to read the ND ideas, too. I am absolutely not neurotypical - aced school and Oxbridge with very little work (just found exams easy), was head hunted for a high-flying job and resigned after a year in a blaze of non-glory after telling my boss that I wasn't going to take orders from someone who was an arse (which he was), whereupon I had children and became much happier and entirely fulfilled, because every day was new and exciting (especially with toddlers). Of course, I had the financial luxury of being able to tell my boss to sod off, so was very lucky.

Yes this is me. I’ve had about 5 careers in ten years because I end up hating what I’m doing and making a change. I took some time out in the end to really think about what I wanted…my main issues were:

I hate the idea that I’m just working for no purpose other than making someone else rich.
I hate that it makes me feel like I’m someone’s prisoner, I must be in an office between x and x.
I hate staring at a screen all day doing meaningless tasks.
I hate routine
I hate being told what to do, and the pressure of being judged on my work
I hate being indoors all day at a desk
I get bored as soon as I stop learning and it isn’t new and exciting any more

I really thought about what my passions are and finally realised I don’t want a fully desk based role!! I’ve now found a role that is working 50/50 office and outdoors, I’m part time and it’s completely flexible, as long as I do my hours at some point through out the week. There is no one breathing down my neck. It’s a big place so I can move around departments and there are endless learning opportunities so it should keep my interest. Personally I couldn’t go on working in jobs I hated as it was really getting me down, it just took me a while to realise what I actually wanted having always assumed I should be working in an office!

St Joseph is the patron saint of workers.

And of a happy death...

I absolutely love my career, which is writing novels and the need to daydream and take time away from the physical writing goes perfectly with my preference to spend time walking, swimming, baking and gardening.

Unfortunately it doesn’t pay enough for a life with two DC and a house so I have to do a day job and a loathe every fucking second. Pretending any of it is important. The annual appraisals. The stand-up meetings. Any meeting. The emails. The “start the day” Teams guff. It’s all just bollocks and not one person would notice if our company didn’t exist, and yet here we are, going through the motions daily. Gah.

I don't know how long ago you worked there. But for me, less than a decade ago. Born in a country adjacent to Singapore and your experience is, erm, unusual.
If you're not academic you're instantly put of the running for 'good' jobs, working until 11 p.m regularly is the norm. You get given a flat, but the working culture is definitely rigid and presentism, being seen Is a big deal. No part-time working
Here in the U.K I get to set my own schedule, even go part time. It's amazing.

Maybe it's different for you as relatively senior expats, surrounded by those who have made it
Not ordinary people trying to work their way up.

But of course we are both strangers on the internet. So people can choose who to believe
You, or me.

Stand up? Do you work in technology?

Bumblebee2235 Yes! I know exactly what you mean.Pedantic detail over something silly in a minimum wage job .Managed to retire early(Am in my late 50s) and dont miss work at all.Last post as a Nursery School Teacher ,which I loved .Before that worked for a bank ,not as loved! Many temporary or fill in jobs along the way, to fit in with the family. I think for me, freedom is all taking the dog out ,meeting a friend, shopping .However We have less money, and we are not wealthy pensioners at all (not poor either). But days out,drives, the odd WE away.Of course a bit of a wait for state pension .No world cruises here!

I could have given up work years ago but I love what I do. Yes it has frustrations and stresses but that is the counterpart of the challenge and satisfaction.

DH did ask me about retiring early pre covid to do other stuff but before we really gave much thought to it covid hit and any other plans became academic. Post covid, live looks very different anyway so I'm not sure how long I'll continue working - more a case of working out what I want to do in retirement possibly that would fill the intellectual/social/achievement gap.

Purpleolive8
I really thought about what my passions are and finally realised I don’t want a fully desk based role!! I’ve now found a role that is working 50/50 office and outdoors, I’m part time and it’s completely flexible, as long as I do my hours at some point through out the week. There is no one breathing down my neck. It’s a big place so I can move around departments and there are endless learning opportunities so it should keep my interest.

Can I ask what job you do? Or at least what industry, so I can keep an eye out for opportunities.
Was it difficult to get into?

It's a relief when threads these pop up

Yes, I hate working - although I have had some good experiences and met lovely people, the sense of being trapped, the bureaucracy, the increasing use of unhelpful tech over the years...makes it grim.

In spite of being 47, I still feel as if the idea of "work as fulfilment" was like being sold a lie at school. I would have planned life very differently if I had realised it was so dull, depressing, simultaneously boring and stressful.

And I wince slightly when I hear advice to retrain, I know quite a few people who have done this and simply wound up with an extra bill to pay.

No, but my company has adopted all the bullshit terminology and behaviour. “Let’s sprint.” Unless it’s as far away as possible, let’s not. They even stand up when we’re on a Zoom, so you see all your colleagues’ tummies and underchins.

Yes – I wish I’d headed into something dull but high paying and aimed for early retirement or working part time but on such a high salary it all shakes down as a decent wage. (I love money.) But like a fool I followed my passions and passion comes with a shit pension and years of boring slog.

I don’t mind my current job, the company treats us well and I have some really good colleagues. The work is also ok. My issues are how much time it takes up and how expensive it is just to work. Having to pay for childcare, car costs and office clothes is annoying.

I also hate that if I need to do something during office hours, I can’t without booking time off, or if I forget to do something on Saturday, I have to wait a week to do it as most places close on Sunday.

I work in marketing and have carved out a bit of a niche in the tech industry.

A lot of tech companies offer fully remote roles that are generally pretty well paid. I don’t love it, but I don’t despise it and it pays very well. More than I ever imagined I could earn.

Absolutely. Have had a few jobs. Professional and non professional. 2 degrees- retrained a couple of years ago and yup fed up of it already. My husband seems to be able to have minor grumble (about a particularly early morning or absolute shit that happened in the day) but seems to accept it’s a thing and just get on with it.

I only work 3 days a week which helps but yeah I still dread it. Also most jobs I’ve had have had meaning and purpose- talking social purpose, health, social care but yh so much paperwork, processes, heavy caseload, sometimes not enough training or support that it’s ruined. I also think we’re so far removed from the actual thing of what we do. Ie. I speak to people and do lots of paperwork and requests for things then someone else goes and does the things. That it’s just a nonsense really.

Hubby says I find problems with work- so the previous job was completely inflexible but working in a team, surrounded by people all the time which helped the time pass. Now working from home/ office/ plenty flexible/whatever I want to do and I just feel completely Meh - like can’t be arsed, really miss having work chum/ chat to make to day go by.

anyway like everyone else here if I could I would quit tomorrow. X