Anyone else just hate working, no matter what the job is?

[DrSheppard]

I'm in a pretty good job right now - the people are nice enough, the pay is very good, the subject matter is relatively interesting and it's flexible (can mostly work from home). But each and every day I struggle. I've felt like this in every job I have, and I've had a fair few! I dislike the routine of work. I dislike meetings and emails and workshops. I hate going into the office especially - I hate the glaring lights, sitting at a desk all day and the feeling of being boxed in. Even in the best of jobs I've had, this feeling never goes away.

I just don't care about work, frankly. I do what I need to do and always get great performance reviews, but I have zero investment in the outcome of what I do. Every day when I log off I breathe a sigh of relief, but the thought of doing this for the next 30+ years is awful. Sometimes I think about retraining but I really don't know if that'd 'fix' it, since I'm already in a well-paid and comfortable role and I've already dabbled in a fair few types of roles. Does anyone else feel this way?

I wonder if there's a correlation between people who were round pegs in round holes, doing all their homework and those who don't like work. It seems very prevalent on MILs side of the family. Perhaps people like me who hated school and didn't enjoy mindlessly drawing in blue round the edges of a map or underlining the labels on a science diagram in pencil see the bliss in the independence of work.

I'll pass over the sneering, baseless superiority in this comment and get to the point: I don't think so. School is very very different to work. I know a number of people who were great at school, where it was all laid out very simply with a clearly defined task, who have not done well at work where you have to be more of a self starter, have a number of soft skills and forge your own path more.

As someone who has worked in all sorts of different sectors - from corporate to charities, retail, creative etc, I've loathed some jobs and absolutely loved others. I particularly loathed the "wage slave" type corporate jobs in offices, banks, etc. Where you're just working as part of a hierarchy that puts money in the big bosses' pockets and getting paid comparatively little to do that whilst simultaneously having to worry about arriving at 8am on the dot and whether it's ok to go to the toilet.

On the other hand, working for meaningful charities, sporting institutions, as a creative on magazines and design work etc etc has been overwhelmingly rewarding and enjoyable. Now as a freelancer despite all the insecurity I'm making more money than all the other jobs and have a level of freedom.

I do realise that some people just hate work but maybe they just are not suited to corporate / office / retail type jobs where they have no autonomy and are just there to make money. Maybe it's a fundamental disconnect between the corporate and hierarchical rule bound nature of some of these jobs vs other jobs where people have genuinely interesting roles, some autonomy, are making a difference, have a level of variety and also flexibility and their employers trust in them. I think that is key. I simply don't fit into the corporate world (which could mean any number of careers), it makes me feel shit, and have done my damndest to avoid it.

I'll pass over the sneering, baseless superiority in this comment and get to the point: I don't think so. School is very very different to work. I know a number of people who were great at school, where it was all laid out very simply with a clearly defined task, who have not done well at work where you have to be more of a self starter, have a number of soft skills and forge your own path more.

This describes my SIL perfectly. A very high achiever at school, went on to get a 2:2 and then a masters and by her late-ish twenties decided work wasn't for her and subsequently hasn't worked for over twenty years. No children.

I find it very hard to accept that we have to give up so much of our lives to work in order to afford to live. And have little time and energy left for the things that matter. I just really can't come to terms with it.

I enjoyed to loved my job for about 10 years. Lost the interest recently as I am just too exhausted and dont have energy for anything else. Not even exercise to compensate for the sedantary nature of the job.
There were different aspects I liked and not liked in the two actual positions I had for the two employers I have had. I also worked part-time from home for 6 years. Now I am back to the office full time /40 hours/, I absolutely hate it and its exhausting. This daily routine just doest suit me and its basically killing me.

Some people peak at school.

It's a difficult one. Obviously you want to encourage children and get them a good basis in general skills and knowledge, but it really is so different to the adult world.

Not read the rest of the thread, but this picks up on a point I was talking about with a colleague last week. We really have failed as a species if this system is the best we can come up with. We don't choose to be born, but once we are, we're obligated (for the most part) to grind for the majority of our lives, and for what?! It all takes away from the important things in life: self, family, community and living within nature.

Granted, this is a generalisation: there are always exceptions. But for the vast majority of us, this is reality. And I say this as someone who has a fulfilling, vocation-type career. I actually mostly enjoy my job, it's the system that's broken.

I work in one of these meaningful, outdoorsy roles with a reasonable amount of flexibility, some WFH time and mostly nice collegues. Literally got the "dream job" that I wanted to do since I was 6. Career changers and grads always getting in touch to ask me how to get into it. And I genuinely do enjoy it and care about what I do... But it's still a job.

It still comes with a shit heap of stress. I still have to talk to colleagues and members of the public and people I just wouldn't choose to interact with. I still have to wade through emails. I still have to be reliable and answer to other people. I still have to get up in winter and do a job when I'd rather hibernate for 3months. I'm still knackered at the end of the week and never ready for Sunday to end. It still plays on my mind and intrudes into my own time. I would still rather choose what I do with my time.

In an ideal world I would work the same job and but 20hours a week annualised hours, so I could have much more time to do the actual lovely bits of being alive. And I could just not work on the days I cant be arsed.

I genuinely think that most of us just aren't wired for the modern working world.

My attitude and relationship to my job has completely changed since having my DS (got pregnant in first lockdown, he's now 2.5). I spent 12 months back in the job before I quit to go self employed. Everything felt totally pointless, hollow, the beauracracy was overwhelming, the video calls and emails. I managed a team of 6 and it felt like I had 6 extra toddlers. There was always some gripe or fallout. In the end I realised that I was getting short with DS on my day off with him because I was thinking about work, or constantly checking in on work stuff.

I go self employed in Sept but alongside that I will be retraining to be a psychotherapist. I don't have any expectations that it will be an overnight total change but if I can do what I do now, part time and self employed, alongside picking up some therapy clients, that's a good enough change for me.

Experiencing a pandemic then first-time motherhood was really confronting for me. I realised that I had spent my whole 20s killing myself for a job that I really didn't like, just for money and status.

It’s hard when you don’t want to work but also you like money 😞

Yeah, it's not a good thing at all. But this is why it's important that people interrogate the assumption that if someone can't find fulfilment within this system, the problem is with them rather than the system itself.

I know this wouldn't work for all roles, but I do wonder if many jobs could be paid based on what they're worth rather than the hours. Then people don't necessarily have to work X hours a week, they just need to get stuff done to deadline. Sometimes that'll mean a longer week, sometimes a shorter one, but as long as it all gets done, on time, to standard, so what? And would people feel differently about it under a system like that?

Obviously many jobs do require you to be available in X hours in case you're needed, but I really do think this can work for many roles, as long as the team members are in good communication.

I'm in a creative field, though.

There are some jobs where that's happening already, often unofficially.

Eh? That is, in fact, most corporate office jobs. Nobody keeps track of your hours.
But obviously, if your contract says 9-5 but you get given 12+ hours of work that you have to finish by a certain deadline ... Or you have lots of stakeholder meetings.

That's why there's a distinction between bad workplaces, and the job role itself.

I have peaks and troughs, sometimes I do 2 hours a day and spend the rest of it chilling. WFH I can go for walks and play with the cat. Other times I'm super busy!

My job can't be 'measured' as most problems I get are new. It takes as long as it takes.

Generally I like it and actually look forward to seeing everyone when I come in. However, had you turned up yesterday afternoon and said "Let me take you away from all this" you would not have had to drag me.

Just a little annoyance. We have a very crap phone system installed that they (whoever they are) were warned against but ignored advice). Therefore people get cut off "You've cut me off again", another calls comes through whilst I am speaking to someone else and that call drops and I end up speaking to someone else!

People who haven't used out facilities (Mental Health Hospital) for a number of years ask for help with housing etc etc. We are inpatients but there are also a number of different teams who we don't know We only get their name and have never had their numbers and don't know what they do so do not know who to pass it on to.

Of course this all happens after 5pm when a lot of staff leave for home!

I could go on and on.

I’m much older than you and felt like you do for so long… and then I was diagnosed with ADHD. It explains so much. Not giving you a diagnosis obviously but for me, novelty wears off quickly and I have to find new ways to maintain interest. I have been the same — always got good reviews etc — but never been into working and felt frankly a bit rubbish about it. I always wanted to find something I felt passionate about. The thing is, I often felt passionate but it would wear iff quickly. Once I was diagnosed I realized this ‘boredom’ was my adhd looking for a dopamine hit, so I’ve got to get that elsewhere.

As an aside I also have ADHD, but I accidentally fell into a job that isn't boring... Quite the opposite!
The moment I start to get bored along comes something else.

@QueefQueen80s what sort of support worker are you? I thinking of retraining & have a background in vet nursing. Currently a SAHP but do unpaid work for 2 different charities. x

This example is often talking to undiagnosed neurodiversity (or mental health issues). At school, bright kids can get good results without huge amounts of work, the structure also supports most of them to get things done and unlike work, you have a place even if you are a bit odd. You may or may not enjoy it, but your results are good. Then university is much harder, without practice in self-management and difficulties with executive function, and work can be harder again, especially if you don't quite fit the mould.

I hate my job....i only took it as it was monday to friday and i wanted weekends off....ive made a huge mistake but its too late to reverse it and so i will have to stick with it.

I can’t stand the routine of working. I’d get so frustrated at my desk that I used to fantasise about just climbing up on a desk in the middle of the office and screaming. Then they’d have to fire me, right?

That's a really good point. Thinking of those people, actually I suspect a lot of them probably are ND in some way.

I’m self employed love my job as far as jobs go make a lot of money but i would still rather not work if I had the choice! I know I wouldn’t find a better job. I work hard through my laziness.
I dread work but once I’m in it’s not as bad I anticipate.

Absolutely this

I agree with this. I actually like my job, it’s intellectually stimulating and rewarding. But I still really resent that I have to do it 5 days a week (can’t afford to reduce hours currently) and don’t have control over what I do on those days (in the sense that I have to go to work, I have quite a lot of freedom within my work). I think 3 days would be the optimal so work-life balance feels more in favour of life.