Anyone else just hate working, no matter what the job is?

[DrSheppard]

I'm in a pretty good job right now - the people are nice enough, the pay is very good, the subject matter is relatively interesting and it's flexible (can mostly work from home). But each and every day I struggle. I've felt like this in every job I have, and I've had a fair few! I dislike the routine of work. I dislike meetings and emails and workshops. I hate going into the office especially - I hate the glaring lights, sitting at a desk all day and the feeling of being boxed in. Even in the best of jobs I've had, this feeling never goes away.

I just don't care about work, frankly. I do what I need to do and always get great performance reviews, but I have zero investment in the outcome of what I do. Every day when I log off I breathe a sigh of relief, but the thought of doing this for the next 30+ years is awful. Sometimes I think about retraining but I really don't know if that'd 'fix' it, since I'm already in a well-paid and comfortable role and I've already dabbled in a fair few types of roles. Does anyone else feel this way?

I agree.
I have been self employed for many years, it isn't just as simple as trading your boss for clients.
It's a whole new mindset.
For me it's the flexibility, the impact of that can't be understated.
I choose my working hours, and although I have deadlines, I can fit them around my life.
If I wake up in a grump then I can do the bare minimum and spend the day in the garden or watch Netflix during a break.

I think most self employed people are motivated, they probably are those type to begin with, but I can see such a direct correlation between my working activity , decisions and income which is very satisfying.

Plus I love what I do-my work is born out of a "hobby", something I have passion for, I get so wrapped up in work that I often forget I am actually working.

I’m a uni dropout in a thankless but emotionally satisfying job - disability care - and of course i’d rather not be working. Shift work, challenging behaviour, clients with incredibly complex needs that if you do one little thing wrong they will literally die on you… on a very low wage. Please don’t get me wrong, I love my clients, enjoy my days filled with outings and fun things and my co-workers are generally very nice. But of course if I had the chance not to work I would. Unfortunately I get nothing from the father of my eldest child so I have to work to pay for his activities and sports and uniform etc.

You definitely have the choice here op:

Tomorrow you can sell up move into a caravan and be free of work. Grow vegetables. It’s possible for you to live a frugal life busking and building good relationships as you said and give your home comforts in exchange for the freedom you love.

Or you can go on benefits and live in a house very different to yours, in an area you would rather not step foot in, and look forward to a long retirement in abject poverty with no hope of any improvement or comforts into old age.

You could wholesale change your career to something complete different. There is risk but it might pay off. Run Holliday cottages or open a restaurant, become a gardener or yrrr surgeon etc.

Or you can continue as you are knowing you have the choice. Feel blessed for the comfort and security it provides and make your free time much more rewarding so it feels worth the sacrifice.

You sound almost too comfortable- too secure. Break out of that if it’s stifling, but recognise it is a privileged position to even have the conversation for some.

I felt this way, my advice would be if you have any passions then follow them! I setup my own business almost 12 years ago, after my second daughter was born and I couldn’t face any more years hating my job! I’m much happier and my earnings are actually similar to what I would be getting had I stuck at my career for which I’m fully qualified. I no longer dread work, yes some days I’m not in the mood and would rather garden or go out and well I just do that instead 😂 I answer to no one now and I’m much happier.

There are other things that contribute to hating work. Here in the uk it is long hours, and people hassling you out of work to do things. You can never switch off. Also it usually includes a stressful long commute. Some places you can’t take your hour lunch. It all adds up to stressssss.

Surely it depends on the job?
'UK' working culture is quite varied. Unlike places like Singapore where 12+ hours are the norm.
Most big companies here ... WFH, people disappear at 3 to do the school run, part time working etc

What you can’t have is all of your luxuries, comfort and security - a good pension and life style and do nothing to contribute.

Life simply doesn’t work like that unless you are under four years of age. Even school children aged 4 upwards are productive.

The trust fund friends I have battle with a lack of direction, purpose and commitment, as a result they often have issues with their mental health. A life without purpose is not life at all.

I used to adore my job but the last year my organisation was taken over and I’ve been bullied and seen a huge switch in my view point. Work has improved and I’m in a happier place but work is now work and less “my life”. It pays the bills and I make the best of it.

I hated the working environment and LOATHED the dreadful management in my job but quite liked the work itself. I stuck it out until my late 50s then retired. I can do whatever I want now but actually do very little because by the time I did retire I was burnt out. Not having to get up at 6.45 every day is sheer fucking bliss though.

You spend a lot of time at work so you might as well do something you enjoy. I think you need to get out of the office and do a totally different type of job.

I switched to teaching after working as a manager in retail. There are obviously things with every job that aren’t great but it is called work and not fun for a reason.

Alternatively, if you leave the office and forget about the job immediately then spend your free time doing stuff you adore. Work is still there but becomes less of an irritant.

I do understand how you fee OP though.

Luckily I'm back on the front line now working with clients, think an internal consultancy role.

It means I have someone 15 years younger than me with much less experience managing me but it's an interim role and it's nice to let someone else work everything out for a bit.

I can see I may want some more seniority in my next role. Ideal would be having one junior person reporting in, to deal with low level stuff and who I can train up a bit, whilst I take the more complex work.

@DrSheppard I never had any interest in working, and was glad to give it up after having children. You are definitely not alone!

The trust fund friends I have battle with a lack of direction, purpose and commitment, as a result they often have issues with their mental health. A life without purpose is not life at all

True in some cases, but I was also a trustafarian, and I've never struggled with a lack of direction or purpose or commitment, or with my mental health. I find plenty of purpose at home. I'd have mental health problems if I had to do a job I hated, though (which would be pretty much any job).

@DrSbaitso management is simultaneously overvalued and undervalued.
'Overvalued', as in they are paid more and it's seen as 'progression' although they may not do the 'hands on work'.
'Undervalued', as in although this is soooo valuable it is also deemed easy enough for people to do it without any training, and be promoted as you said based on their aptitude in a different job!

I like my job , I’m a solicitor , I like to see done if the outcomes but if I did not need the money I would not work . Honestly I’d someone paid me the same I would rather travel and spend my time with my family .

Truly because I worry about the impact on my career in having a break.

@Plentiful how did your teacher friend get on when they started medical school at 49? Did it work out?

Agreed. I earn a really nice wage and so I’m now trapped forever in a prison of my own making. 😂

But you do 'work' at home. Presumably you are the sort of mother who actually does a lot for the family, not a lady of leisure.
There are SAHM who cook, bake, supervise homework etc. And there are those who spend all their time shopping and brunching while the kids are looked after by nannies

What has stood out to me is that the OP wants to responsibility. It's not just the job, but being 'fold what to do'. I'm pretty sure making sure the house is clean, kids fed etc are responsibilities and so won't fit with what she wants, which is to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

You can always retrain on something that is your passion. I love my work and waking up to go to work is a good thing for me. I had 2 carriers before this carrier though. When I retire, it will be to work less hours but never to stop completely.

I think it's worth investing on a career coach to figure things out too.

Life os too short to hate 35h of your week.

• career

Yes. My solution was to live simply and take lodgers so I could afford to only work a three day week.

The solutions are endless.
The life you have is a choice, it’s always your choice.

I can have a purpose in life that isn't tied to working though. Many people do, it's just that it doesn't translate into an income.

At the moment it feels very much like the song lyric 'trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to money then you die'. I accept that you can't get anything in life for free - I've worked continuously since I was a teenager. But does it have to be so relentless and consuming? It feels like we spend our best years day in, day out, doing things no one will remember in 5 years' time for people who'd replace us the second we're out the door without much thought.

I'm thinking more and more about ways to simplify my life and work less. I live in a very expensive city so there's only so much I can cut back on when it comes to housing and expenses (and moving isn't an option).

I haven't had to work since my mid 30s. 20-35 did a job I loved. 35-43 the baby/infant years.

When the dc started full-time school my days were long and empty and revolved round school which was cliquey, bitchy and tedious. DH was working out of the house for 14 hours then and often away.

I went back to work, locally, for me and then retrained. 20 years ago now. I love work but plan to retire in two years at 65.

The social construct of work and satisfaction from jobs well done is motivating for me.

I wonder if there's a correlation between people who were round pegs in round holes, doing all their homework and those who don't like work. It seems very prevalent on MILs side of the family. Perhaps people like me who hated school and didn't enjoy mindlessly drawing in blue round the edges of a map or underlining the labels on a science diagram in pencil see the bliss in the independence of work.

I'm the same.

I just find work so tedious and there are so many other things I could be doing.

Only 20 years left until retirement 😁