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Original poster

Would this upset you?

10 replies

VintageThoughts · 02/07/2023 22:11

I met with a friend today and the first thing she said to me was "God, you look so thin. Worryingly thin".

For context, I'm naturally very slim but i weigh the same as I always do and haven't lost any weight since she last saw me. I'm 5'6" and fluctuate between 8 stone 3 to around 8 stone 8. Have done for the last 20 years.

Why do people think it's ok to say you look 'worryingly thin'? Nobody would ever say you looked 'worryingly fat'?

My self confidence is pretty low at the best of times so this has really floored me.

I can only assume she was saying I looked awful?

OP posts:
Impactnoiseistortuous · 02/07/2023 22:14

Mmm, what kind of size is your “friend”? It’s a very rude thing to come out with, because as you say, “worryingly” anything is not a compliment.

Did you say anything to her at the time?

Original poster
VintageThoughts · 02/07/2023 22:19

Yeah I did say "thanks a lot" type thing and then she said "not in your face or anything" but I was in trackies and a hoodie so it's not like she could see my figure - she can only have been referring to my face.

She's slim too but less so than me.

OP posts:
BogTrollAtLarge · 02/07/2023 22:19

VintageThoughts · 02/07/2023 22:11

I met with a friend today and the first thing she said to me was "God, you look so thin. Worryingly thin".

For context, I'm naturally very slim but i weigh the same as I always do and haven't lost any weight since she last saw me. I'm 5'6" and fluctuate between 8 stone 3 to around 8 stone 8. Have done for the last 20 years.

Why do people think it's ok to say you look 'worryingly thin'? Nobody would ever say you looked 'worryingly fat'?

My self confidence is pretty low at the best of times so this has really floored me.

I can only assume she was saying I looked awful?

People do say you look worryingly fat… but that doesn’t make it ok. People ought not to randomly comment on other people’s physicality.

AllOfThemWitches · 02/07/2023 22:20

Nobody would ever say you looked 'worryingly fat'?

Yea, they would.

Original poster
VintageThoughts · 02/07/2023 22:21

@BogTrollAtLarge

It's just so rude. I wouldn't dream of referring to anyone's appearance unless I was being complimentary.

I feel so shitty when I think about it.

OP posts:
wildfirewonder · 02/07/2023 22:21

She was very rude.

SirenSays · 02/07/2023 22:22

She was so rude and I'd have told her so.

Try not to let it get to you, maybe she meant the loose hoodie made you look thinner than you are.

BogTrollAtLarge · 02/07/2023 22:22

VintageThoughts · 02/07/2023 22:21

@BogTrollAtLarge

It's just so rude. I wouldn't dream of referring to anyone's appearance unless I was being complimentary.

I feel so shitty when I think about it.

It is rude. Try not to take it to heart though, it says more about her character than it does your appearance.

Impactnoiseistortuous · 02/07/2023 22:23

It’s hard for us to say since we weren’t there. It does sound a bit catty. But if she’s not usually like that I’d let it slide. If she starts to regularly make comments like that I’d either have it out with her, or just distance myself.

Is there any chance at all that it could be concern? Did she go on to ask if life was okay ?

Original poster
VintageThoughts · 02/07/2023 22:27

Yes, she knows I've been through a hard time these last few months but she also knows I'm well and truly out the other side and am in a much better place now.

If I had lost weight I'd sort of understand it, but I absolutely haven't.

I just don't think telling someone they look 'worryingly' anything is a very nice thing to say.

OP posts:
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