DP is ill and we ALL need to know about it....

[WasIBad]

He's driving me mad! He suddenly announced this afternoon that he was feeling 'really not well'. Ok I said, go to bed. I'll look after the baby and you get some rest. Oh, I don't think I could sleep, I'll just stay on the sofa 🙄

And since then there's been a lot of huffing and puffing, little sideways glances at me to make sure I'm looking before he closes his eyes and does a little moaning sound.

Then the SNIFFING! My God, I hate it. I told him to get a tissue and he shuffled sadly to the kitchen, sighing along the way.

I've suggested at least four times that he just goes to bed, but no. He'll just stay on the sofa, annoying the fuck out of the rest of us.

Anyone else have a partner who does performance illness??

Is the dressing gown of doom out yet?

Performance illness - brilliant!!!

No! He's probably saving that to induce maximum sympathy when we all look fed up.

He's now curled himself into the furthest corner of the sofa like an ailing hamster.

Yes, I can relate. Same here. We both had COVID same time last year, I had to look after him and that time is always referred to as when he had COVID. Mum flue is just like any flue, except nobody cares.

Could you send him to bed reasoning he may be spreading whatever he has?

Spray him with Dettol. Repeatedly.

Your description is funny and I'm sure many of us can relate

What's his end game? He's setting the scene for something surely?

I'm convinced men are like that because they don't have periods. They don't know how to crack on with life.

A friend and I once discussed what the world would be like if they had to cope with periods. It was a very depressing and exasperating thought.

I feel for you. Does your DH have a special poorly voice when he speaks to his mum like my DH? makes me want to divorce him immediately

😂 ailing hamster. I hope he survives the night OP, sounds serious!

Is he wearing the Dressing Gown of Doom ?

Mine has a mildly sore throat on one side. He's on his phone now probably googling which deadly illness causes a sore throat on one side.

Remind him that if he feels so so poorly, he cant seriously want any of the rest of you to feel so bad and he should retire to isolation to save you all.... whispering under your breath that the only thing he's saving is your sanity.

Mine is an illness denier. After reading this thread I am very grateful that he is always « absolutely fine- healthy as a horse babe! »

My DP now has an Oodie of doom
It's floor length
Cow print
For a 6"5' person - he's 5"8
Now imagine the huffing shuffling to the kitchen for a tissue......!!

Don't anyone let their husbands know these are around

Have you thought about just putting him out of his misery?

Has he got the sick man shuffle? You know it’s really not very bad once they adopt that. Take cover if he wears the dressing gown of doom at the same time as doing the sick man shuffle.

My DH must ring his mummy to tell her he's sick so she can worry about him. He also rushes to buy himself all sorts of medicine and displays it all on the bench, to remind us all he is unwell.

Yes, and mine always clutches his stomach while he shuffles round in his DGOD, even if it's a head cold.

Mine usually declares in the middle of his life threatening cold that the only cure that will do is a hot toddy and somehow finds the energy to shed the dressing gown of doom in order to go to the shop for booze

OMG, this made me laugh so much 😂

Oh lord, “an ailing hamster” has made me snigger! I hope all his affairs are in order and that you’ve ordered your widow’s weeds.

And yes, mine will also refuse to go to bed, choosing to sit on the sofa either snoring or looking wounded when we “make too much noise”- otherwise known as carrying on with everyday life.

Not the dreaded Man Flu! 😱

Poor lamb!