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Being called Posh… when we’re not…

117 replies

Poshornot · 25/06/2023 18:55

Feeling a bit offended really - have been called posh on a few occasions. But we aren’t posh or come from posh backgrounds. We live in a terraced in an average town with average-below average schools and earn an average income.

We work hard to pay for nice things but now i feel a bit of an outsider in our own community. I don’t want people thinking we’re posh / don’t fit in with them just because we have a 5 year old car not an ‘old banger’ or because we keep our house / garden well kept :/

anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 26/06/2023 14:08

cassiatwenty · 25/06/2023 22:38

That is such a posh explanation @ChiefWiggumsBoy 🤭

One does like to air ones opinions online don't you know GrinWink

AlexTfan · 26/06/2023 14:09

Poshornot · 25/06/2023 19:17

@Sunbeam18 not at all - what am I bragging about?

@TomatoSandwiches sorry, did i miss the joke?

thanks all for your comments…

@Hellocatshome It bothers me because up until recently we have got on wonderfully with our neighbours/school parents etc. But because we are going on a summer holiday to Spain (mentioned in conversation about school holidays), I was basically mocked and called posh….. on separate occasions by the same people. It’s made me very aware of what i say to people and worry how i come across. Almost makes me feel self conscious!

Spain?! Benidorm, I assume, otherwise I’m baffled.

AlexTfan · 26/06/2023 14:13

Holly60 · 25/06/2023 21:02

Do you think the response to going to Spain was a joke?

If someone (I knew well and liked) told me they were going to Spain I might respond 'oh aren't we posh' with obvious irony (obviously if they were good enough friends as there would be no malice intended) because nothing makes me think of budget holidays more than Spain (obviously there are lovely places and lovely holidays in Spain - it's just a stereotype)

are you sure they aren't just teasing you?

I have a feeling they were doing exactly that…

AlexTfan · 26/06/2023 14:17

ChickenSoupAndLokshen · 25/06/2023 23:31

I AM posh and get mocked but I'm not allowed to be indignant/offended because I'm posh. It's the world's worst catch 22. People take the piss out of posh people all the time but heaven forbid posh people take the piss out of non-posh people. Welcome to my world.

For the hard of understanding, I might be poking fun of myself and others in this post!

Poking fun at yourself? Are you sure?
One does not define oneself as “posh”because it is for others to define…

Do you have a set of fish knives?

Fifthtimelucky · 26/06/2023 14:19

I was once called "posh" at work by a colleague on the grounds that I pronounced the "h" in the word "dickhead"!

TallulahBetty · 26/06/2023 14:23

Yeah, this is rude. I have had this as I don't have an easily-recognisable accent. It made me feel really self-conscious and like I wasn't one of them.

People (hopefully) wouldn't dream of calling someone common, so how is posh ok?

WimpoleHat · 26/06/2023 14:24

Do you have a set of fish knives?

Definitely not posh (or “smart”, as posh people say!). Fish knives are definitely a signifier of being aspirational MC. Apparently the late HM Queen banned them from banquets!

Comety · 26/06/2023 14:26

Arseulaundress · 25/06/2023 19:01

In Liverpool, anyone with a southern accent is considered posh. 😁

My GPs were from the Midlands and I grew up in the SE. We were always called posh by friends and neighbours "up" there, despite the kind of Estaury English accept that really can't be described that way 😆

As for OP, you do sound like you think you're a bit better than some of these people.

dutysuite · 26/06/2023 14:30

I get called middle class / well spoken all the time but I’m actually from a working class background. People are shocked when I tell them my dad was a builder.

beeonmybonnett · 26/06/2023 14:46

Is being called posh not a compliment ? It must mean your house is neat, tidy and well kept? I would also take it to mean they think you’re polite and friendly.

Hbh17 · 26/06/2023 14:50

bussteward · 25/06/2023 20:44

No one actually posh would use the word posh, so you’re fine.

This! It's incredibly downmarket to use the word "posh". But if people perceive you as having higher status than them (rightly or wrongly) then what's wrong with that? Your neighbour sounds ignorant, so at least you know not to waste any time on them.

AlexTfan · 26/06/2023 15:27

WimpoleHat · 26/06/2023 14:24

Do you have a set of fish knives?

Definitely not posh (or “smart”, as posh people say!). Fish knives are definitely a signifier of being aspirational MC. Apparently the late HM Queen banned them from banquets!

Erm…I am aware of that.

AlexTfan · 26/06/2023 15:29

beeonmybonnett · 26/06/2023 14:46

Is being called posh not a compliment ? It must mean your house is neat, tidy and well kept? I would also take it to mean they think you’re polite and friendly.

Are you expecting people to charge in with tales of eccentric aristocrats and inherited furniture liberally covered in dog hair?!
Ha

ASGIRC · 26/06/2023 15:34

Poshornot · 25/06/2023 18:55

Feeling a bit offended really - have been called posh on a few occasions. But we aren’t posh or come from posh backgrounds. We live in a terraced in an average town with average-below average schools and earn an average income.

We work hard to pay for nice things but now i feel a bit of an outsider in our own community. I don’t want people thinking we’re posh / don’t fit in with them just because we have a 5 year old car not an ‘old banger’ or because we keep our house / garden well kept :/

anyone else experienced this?

Its not an insult, you know?!

GlassWall · 26/06/2023 15:38

BunnyBettChetwynnd · 25/06/2023 23:34

Feeling sad tonight for all those who are made to feel like outsiders in their own community because of their five year old cars, well kept gardens and Spanish holidays. Nobody should have to suffer like that.

😀

Calm down, OP. ‘Posh’ is a relative concept. Virtually everyone is ‘posh’ to someone.

AlexTfan · 26/06/2023 15:40

GlassWall · 26/06/2023 15:38

😀

Calm down, OP. ‘Posh’ is a relative concept. Virtually everyone is ‘posh’ to someone.

“Virtually everyone is ‘posh’ to someone.”
Thats a bit simplistic, of course.

AlexTfan · 26/06/2023 15:41

*That’s…

GlassWall · 26/06/2023 15:46

AlexTfan · 26/06/2023 15:40

“Virtually everyone is ‘posh’ to someone.”
Thats a bit simplistic, of course.

In what way is it ‘simplistic’? The thread is full of people who are falling over themselves to flash their WC credentials, but who have nonetheless been called ‘posh’ by someone who perceives preferring brown bread or reading books as indicating them being socially a cut above.

AlexTfan · 26/06/2023 15:49

GlassWall · 26/06/2023 15:46

In what way is it ‘simplistic’? The thread is full of people who are falling over themselves to flash their WC credentials, but who have nonetheless been called ‘posh’ by someone who perceives preferring brown bread or reading books as indicating them being socially a cut above.

When you said, “Virtually everyone…” you were not just referring to posters in this thread., I presume?

GlassWall · 26/06/2023 15:49

AlexTfan · 26/06/2023 15:29

Are you expecting people to charge in with tales of eccentric aristocrats and inherited furniture liberally covered in dog hair?!
Ha

Yes, this is a rule on Mn class threads. There has to be a duke wearing literal rags, driving a car tied together with string, who lives in the crumbling servants’ quarters of his Palladian mansion. Fo extra points, he’s so unassuming the poster thinks he’s a tramp until someone addresses him as ‘Your Grace’.

AlexTfan · 26/06/2023 15:50

*on this thread…

AlexTfan · 26/06/2023 15:50

GlassWall · 26/06/2023 15:49

Yes, this is a rule on Mn class threads. There has to be a duke wearing literal rags, driving a car tied together with string, who lives in the crumbling servants’ quarters of his Palladian mansion. Fo extra points, he’s so unassuming the poster thinks he’s a tramp until someone addresses him as ‘Your Grace’.

😝

MassiveSalad22 · 26/06/2023 15:52

Crimblecrumble1990 · 25/06/2023 19:04

I remember being called posh at school and I did feel like an outsider because of it. Was hard to know what to say back so just another thing that made me retreat more in to myself. Definitely wasn't posh, just pronounced my Ts when I said water....

This is me! Still get called posh and people ask what school I went to a lot, which I’ve only just learnt is people assuming I went to a private school. Always perplexed by people thinking they know every average state school in the country to know my school 😅 bizarre.

My A Level drama teacher went ‘god you’re so POSH!’ in a really nasty way 😵‍💫 double bizarre.

BlissedOutCat · 26/06/2023 15:55

I've been called both posh and common. Both times by unpleasant people who wanted to exclude and other me. Both are hurtful in these circumstances.

WorkOfArt · 26/06/2023 15:57

If it was said by the same people each time, it’s meaningless. Do people really think going to Spain is posh these days? It can be a cheap and cheerful holiday destination for a lot of people.