Being called Posh… when we’re not…

[Poshornot]

Feeling a bit offended really - have been called posh on a few occasions. But we aren’t posh or come from posh backgrounds. We live in a terraced in an average town with average-below average schools and earn an average income.

We work hard to pay for nice things but now i feel a bit of an outsider in our own community. I don’t want people thinking we’re posh / don’t fit in with them just because we have a 5 year old car not an ‘old banger’ or because we keep our house / garden well kept :/

anyone else experienced this?

Anyone who uses the word posh is a moron…horrible word!

I'd love to read about those truly hurt or marginalised on this thread, Posh People. These days we are so PC about everything but nobody thinks it might offend someone.

#Poshpppl are ppl too

I know you're joking, but I was actually really hurt and marginalised by being considered posh and therefore well off.

I suppose it's seen as ok because it's "punching up" not down, but if the person isn't actually posh or rich then it IS punching down (or sideways?)

In my case I was living in a small northern town, hostile to outsiders and particularly southerners. My accent is somewhere between RP and estuary. Late teens, struggling hugely with mental ill health. Very poor and ended up on basic subsistence level benefits, renting a room in a shared house that also housed an unwell man threatening violence towards me.

I was othered and deemed to be an attention seeker and undeserving of help by the mental health services. I was denied other help like housing off the back of this. It was baffling and terrifying to me, as I'd been brought up pro NHS/welfare state, and with values to help those in dire situations not judge them.

It was later when I'd had a chance to learn more about the world that I realised the link to being viewed as posh/rich. Bloody obvious in hindsight, as they made a lot of odd comments like saying I needed to be in hospital for a while and could my parents pay for a private one? They just saw me as a posh/rich person trying to take their precious resources, and someone who couldn't possibly have real troubles as they had money. And that assumption was based on accent alone.

When I grew up, I thought anyone with a dishwasher was posh...

It's all contextual.

There's nothing posh about a summer holiday to Spain. I wouldn't let this bother you.

I was called posh as a child because I didn't have a strong local accent or use slang, and was clever and liked reading. Funnily enough I actually lived on a council estate while almost all the other kids lived on the private estate the school was on, never went abroad on holiday while they were all going to Disneyland and Spain and always had a banger for a family car. But I was still posh because I didn't say "ain't".

But surely you're not posh if your house is the same as the people calling you posh? I'm confused

*pronounce words correctly

There's no 'correctly'. There is 'standard' which is usually aligned with how those in power speak.

Then there are dialects, which all have internal rules of grammar, just the same as standard dialectic, but are considered less prestigious because those who speak in that way are less wealthy in general or marginalized in some way.

• dialect

🤣🤣🤣🤣
This thread is hilarious

This actually reminds me of my very wealthy aunt, when her even wealthier SIL had come over. I was quite young, but still remember internally rolling my eyes as she was complaining that the 'servant girl had bigger diamond earrings than her' in a very horrified voice. It was about 35 years ago and I still remember thinking WTF

It’s not a compliment when people are being snide and what they really mean is that they think you think you are better than them and they want to pull you down a peg or two.

Said occasionally with a genuine affection when you know that the sayer doesn’t mean anything nasty is a joke.

Since when was posh an offensive thing to be called? If you don’t want to consider yourself posh, laugh it off and give them a reason why you aren’t.

I’ve been called posh before, I flashed them my nose ring and they took it right back.

Posh means different things to different people but I wouldn't think it's a bad thing being called posh.

For example I have been called posh by a junkie because I have all my teeth.

I was called posh when I went to school in belfast just because I didnt speak with a belfast accent.

I'm not posh or was brought up posh by any means, in fact we had a lot less money than others. The majority of the time the people calling you posh are just jealous and that's the only thing they can come up with. And if being called posh is the worst they can do then I'll take it but posh to me is someone having and spending a lot of money and easily having the best of everything and bragging about it..... having teeth or a holiday to Spain or not having a strong accent is certainly not posh

Exactly. The people who've called me posh over the years are clearly individuals who've taken against me for their own reasons, as they also use other sniping and demeaning comments. It's okay to dislike someone, but why not then just leave them alone?

As others have said, it's often people who are actually better off materially who use this insult. Apparently it's fine to be prejudiced against certain people, based on nothing more than an assumption of the kind of person they are.

I was called posh at school. It really hurt me and I was bullied for it too.

My Dad was northern working class - made money via retail. We lived in the South and my Dad forced us to speak 'nicely'.

I started out life in Yorkshire then Northern Ireland, so my accent was a buggers muddle even before my Dad forced us to speak how he perceived posh Southerners spoke.

It hurt because despite having a nice house and car, I was unloved and abused.

I would have swapped my upbringing for any of my friends.

Incidentally those who called me posh seemed pampered, ungrateful and soft to me. But I kept that to myself.

And moron is so much nicer.🤣

I come from a very nice small town which is a much desired place to live. I get called posh because of it.
I love it. I love being called posh. I embrace it. Why do people think its insulting?

I remember being called posh at school and I did feel like an outsider because of it. Was hard to know what to say back so just another thing that made me retreat more in to myself. Definitely wasn't posh, just pronounced my Ts when I said water....

I experienced the same thing. Didn't drop 't's, used the correct tenses, didn't pronounce 'th' as 'f', did my homework, didn't cause trouble or backchat the teacher - branded posh and not in a jokey way at all. It made me feel self conscious and marginalised, although not enough to sabotage my life in order to fit in, thankfully.

Never caused me any problems since getting out into the big, wide, world though.

I get called posh because of my accent. I'm not really posh but I suppose I sound it - I had a speech impediment growing up so I've compensated by developing a very precise way of speaking.

I also have the nickname Tory Lunchbox in work because I got sushi and prawn crackers instead of a butty and crisps for lunch one time. Eight years ago.

Lighten up a bit OP, there are much worse things to be called than posh.

I’m a big fan of the POSH (though that promotion semi final crumble to Wednesday was horrific!)

I get you. Some of my mum's family decided I must be 'snobby' as a teen because I went to university, and that's a snobby thing to do (it wasn't even a great uni!).

I suppose it's seen as ok because it's "punching up" not down, but if the person isn't actually posh or rich then it IS punching down (or sideways?)

”punching up” is an excuse to be as spiteful as you want without fear of comeback as that would be ‘punching down’. So it’s cowardly as well as unpleasant.

Why are people deemed “posh” if they have a mortgage and not “posh” if they rent? Surely being posh and being rich are two different things. If you win the lottery you don’t suddenly become posh.

Agreed