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Original poster

No party food or drink provided

577 replies

ImaMumtoaboy · 25/06/2023 16:15

So my ds(11) went to a football party yesterday. The minute we got in the car he asked to go the shop for a drink as he was so thirsty.
Party was at the local astro pitch, party room included that has 2 ovens, hob, 2 toasters, 2 microwaves and 2 fridges. Most parents bring in frozen pizzas and chips and cook them or order in pizzas.
Kids were running around for 2 hours in hot weather they were not offered any drinks during that time.
He said in the "party room" they got 1 small bottle of water (250ml) and a small slice of birthday cake. They only went into the room 10 minutes before I arrived to collect him.
When I went in the mother was packing up the cake which looked like there was about 3/4's left. I thought the kids must have had enough food that they didnt want cake. And parents cleaned up very quickly. Kids were all quiet(14 11/12 yr old boys) who are normally very loud at parties. Kids were just sitting waiting to be collected.Turns out they got a very very skinny slice, described by ds as thinner then a slice of bread.
Ended up bringing him to Mcdonalds as a treat and we seen 2 other parents of kids that were at the same party getting their kids food.

OP posts:
Nofurme · 29/06/2023 23:18

Water and drinks should’ve been made available for 2 hours football in the sun.
However think it’s okay to not serve food over a 2 hour period filled with activities

flimsywhimsy · 29/06/2023 23:28

There's really no plausible excuse for that. If you can't afford even cheaper snacks for the kids, don't have a party with so many invitees, or at least don't time it for lunch. But let's be honest, people expect something to eat at a party, more than a sliver of cake, no matter what time the party is! It's rude to provide so little at a party, and if you can't afford to feed several people, you should have a smaller gathering of only a few best friends.

Yoloohno · 29/06/2023 23:49

I’m gobsmacked that they couldn’t run to £15 for a couple of loaves of bread, spread, a packet of cheese and ham, a cheap multipack of crisps and a couple of bottle of squash.

When you host a party some basic food and drink I’d part of hosting.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General food
Brightbear · 30/06/2023 01:40

darkmodeon · 29/06/2023 21:02

Because I recognise portion control in cake?

Show quote history

So do I! Portion control works both ways?

Brightbear · 30/06/2023 01:47

MibsXX · 29/06/2023 22:12

Maybe, just maybe, one of the parents or a friend or family member works there, and got the one available slot free that day...

Some of you must be in such comfortable situations, it must feel great throwing mud from your ivory towers. No kid will have really thought about food whilst they were happily playing with their friend, and if any of them were seriously hungry then that says a lot about how much food they get at home TBH. No kid is going to remember the party just on the lack of a sandwich basis, unless a parent keeps telling them about it........

My son had a couple of what he thought were good friends, but they refused to come to his party as it wasn't laser shooting or trampolining, neither of which remotely interested my boy, once he'd helped them get through their exams we never heard from those friends again

Maybe the parents are simply mean, maybe they are trying their best to do some small specail thing for their son, but please do not start it amongst the other kids so that the poor birthday kid gets bullied or laughed at, that really isn't on

Maybe just maybe if that was the case (very highly unlikely) they could’ve give the parents the heads up so they could’ve sent a pack lunch? Or brought one with them when collecting, so they weren’t forced into buying expensive food as they were on their way eose where?

Why nonsense about the amount of food being given at home? They weren’t finished until 2.30 so you’d expect them to still be full from breakfast or snacks? Surely they’d be so overfed if that was the case?

Not sure the relevance of your son and exams? Nothing to do with the content of this thread.

But trying to put the blame for their hunger on the parents of the visiting child is ridiculous!

JusthereforXmas · 30/06/2023 08:35

MibsXX · 29/06/2023 22:12

Maybe, just maybe, one of the parents or a friend or family member works there, and got the one available slot free that day...

Some of you must be in such comfortable situations, it must feel great throwing mud from your ivory towers. No kid will have really thought about food whilst they were happily playing with their friend, and if any of them were seriously hungry then that says a lot about how much food they get at home TBH. No kid is going to remember the party just on the lack of a sandwich basis, unless a parent keeps telling them about it........

My son had a couple of what he thought were good friends, but they refused to come to his party as it wasn't laser shooting or trampolining, neither of which remotely interested my boy, once he'd helped them get through their exams we never heard from those friends again

Maybe the parents are simply mean, maybe they are trying their best to do some small specail thing for their son, but please do not start it amongst the other kids so that the poor birthday kid gets bullied or laughed at, that really isn't on

Middle class mumsnetters attempting to explain to the rest of us that this is a problem of poor people who cant afford to provide food (but can hire a venue and buy cake they barely serve) while then also throwing shade at the guests for not 'feeding their kids enough at home' is actually fucking hilarious.

Riverlee · 30/06/2023 09:40

The kids were already talking about the party, which prompted the op to start the thread.

Tourmalines · 30/06/2023 10:46

Yes, the kids were already talking about it, so obviously they thought it was a weird party without so much as a fucking plain cracker. And why are they not supposed to talk about it ? How ridiculous is that. Free speech and all that .

mrswhiplington · 30/06/2023 11:49

Alighttouchonthetiller · 25/06/2023 16:21

I'd expect food at a kids' party. But then I am not a typical Mumsnetter, in that I eat actual meals instead of sucking on an alfalfa sprout and fully expect heaps of cake, iced party rings and mountains of chips at every celebratory occasion.

Same here 😁

MibsXX · 30/06/2023 12:38

@JusthereforXmas

Lol at you thinking I am middle class, in my dreams, my weekly budget for food was around 16 pounds after bills and rent BEFORE all these crazy price rises..it hasn't gotten any better

My son has been bullied at school because he doesn't have any new school uniform.. caused in part by comments parents made to their kids about it, it just occured to me reading this thread that some poor little kid out there, through no fault of his own, if this here is representative of parents there, might just get bullied because of some grown ups attitude.. All my own opinion of course but hey, we're all allowed that aren't we?

Gateappreciation · 30/06/2023 12:54

@MibsXX Read the op’s posts - the boys have already been talking about the lack of good - they founded it strange, and that’s what prompted the op to start her thread.

Original poster
ImaMumtoaboy · 30/06/2023 15:12

MibsXX · 30/06/2023 12:38

@JusthereforXmas

Lol at you thinking I am middle class, in my dreams, my weekly budget for food was around 16 pounds after bills and rent BEFORE all these crazy price rises..it hasn't gotten any better

My son has been bullied at school because he doesn't have any new school uniform.. caused in part by comments parents made to their kids about it, it just occured to me reading this thread that some poor little kid out there, through no fault of his own, if this here is representative of parents there, might just get bullied because of some grown ups attitude.. All my own opinion of course but hey, we're all allowed that aren't we?

My ds has not gotten into any conversation about it that I know of. Ive looked at his phone and the only comment he made about the party is that he enjoyed it. It was my ds that told me the other kids were talking about it. He said it was mention by 1 or 2 boys on Monday in school(these kids and their parents pass remark on everything) and the rest of the boys all said it was fun.

Maybe when the kids got home the decent parents had the same conversation I did with my ds not to get into it with the other kids.

OP posts:
5128gap · 30/06/2023 19:02

So, one or two boys mentioned there was no food. The OPs DS and the other boys all enjoyed the party and had fun. Seems the 23 pages of outrage on behalf of the poor hard done to guests was misplaced after all then.
I must admit I did think it was unusual for 11 year old boys to be so preoccupied with catering arrangements and so hungry from going a couple of hours past their lunch time that they'd boycott future parties. Glad they enjoyed and no harm done.

Brightbear · 30/06/2023 19:24

5128gap · 30/06/2023 19:02

So, one or two boys mentioned there was no food. The OPs DS and the other boys all enjoyed the party and had fun. Seems the 23 pages of outrage on behalf of the poor hard done to guests was misplaced after all then.
I must admit I did think it was unusual for 11 year old boys to be so preoccupied with catering arrangements and so hungry from going a couple of hours past their lunch time that they'd boycott future parties. Glad they enjoyed and no harm done.

No you’ve got it all wrong, how god only knows 😂

read the OP, read the updates and enlighten yourself!

Brightbear · 30/06/2023 19:27

5128gap · 30/06/2023 19:02

So, one or two boys mentioned there was no food. The OPs DS and the other boys all enjoyed the party and had fun. Seems the 23 pages of outrage on behalf of the poor hard done to guests was misplaced after all then.
I must admit I did think it was unusual for 11 year old boys to be so preoccupied with catering arrangements and so hungry from going a couple of hours past their lunch time that they'd boycott future parties. Glad they enjoyed and no harm done.

Do you have or had any pre teen boys? Because food comes very high up the agenda of importance!

5128gap · 30/06/2023 19:45

Brightbear · 30/06/2023 19:24

No you’ve got it all wrong, how god only knows 😂

read the OP, read the updates and enlighten yourself!

Show quote history

What do I have wrong?

5128gap · 30/06/2023 20:02

Brightbear · 30/06/2023 19:27

Do you have or had any pre teen boys? Because food comes very high up the agenda of importance!

Show quote history

I have two sons and a daughter, now all adults, which means that I have hosted around 30 or so parties for them, and taken them to countless others. I never recall the food element as being of any great importance.
Even in the 90s pizza, burger, crisps, cake or whatever party food offered barely counted as a treat or novelty compared to the party activity; and given the choice the majority would have picked more time ice skating, snow boarding, football, wih the farm animals above eating, as evidenced by the typical reluctance to stop and come for food.
My children all had healthy appetites and my sons are the MN 6' 2" cliché but I can say with certainty that they would have had no problem with a foodless but otherwise fun party, and never expired on the frequent occasions lunch got delayed by a couple of hours or so.

Brightbear · 30/06/2023 20:02

5128gap · 30/06/2023 19:45

What do I have wrong?

Show quote history

OPs son mentioned the lack of food and drink, but OP asked him not to get involved with talk at school. Not getting involved with talk at school doesn’t mean it’s not an issue, just that people are too polite not to mention it (future people pleasers).

Unusual fir 11 year old boys to not be interested in catering …… now that’s utterly hilarious!

We’ve done two hours of football, that was great, we’re now in the “party” room for 30 mins, what can we eat? What else would they expect from the 30 min “party” room? Dust?

Brightbear · 30/06/2023 20:05

5128gap · 30/06/2023 20:02

I have two sons and a daughter, now all adults, which means that I have hosted around 30 or so parties for them, and taken them to countless others. I never recall the food element as being of any great importance.
Even in the 90s pizza, burger, crisps, cake or whatever party food offered barely counted as a treat or novelty compared to the party activity; and given the choice the majority would have picked more time ice skating, snow boarding, football, wih the farm animals above eating, as evidenced by the typical reluctance to stop and come for food.
My children all had healthy appetites and my sons are the MN 6' 2" cliché but I can say with certainty that they would have had no problem with a foodless but otherwise fun party, and never expired on the frequent occasions lunch got delayed by a couple of hours or so.

Show quote history

But the option wasn’t more time playing football or ice skating?

it was sitting in the party room with a small bottle of water for 30 mins?

RampantIvy · 30/06/2023 20:13

I never recall the food element as being of any great importance.

Probably becasue there was food?

I suspect it would have been of great importance if there wasn't any. You have spectacularly missed the pointt th OP was making.

5128gap · 30/06/2023 20:38

Brightbear · 30/06/2023 20:02

OPs son mentioned the lack of food and drink, but OP asked him not to get involved with talk at school. Not getting involved with talk at school doesn’t mean it’s not an issue, just that people are too polite not to mention it (future people pleasers).

Unusual fir 11 year old boys to not be interested in catering …… now that’s utterly hilarious!

We’ve done two hours of football, that was great, we’re now in the “party” room for 30 mins, what can we eat? What else would they expect from the 30 min “party” room? Dust?

Show quote history

They were in the party room for 10 minutes before pick up time, not 30. Just time for what was provided, the (thin) cake.
You might find it helpful to read the OP..?

Brightbear · 30/06/2023 20:42

5128gap · 30/06/2023 20:38

They were in the party room for 10 minutes before pick up time, not 30. Just time for what was provided, the (thin) cake.
You might find it helpful to read the OP..?

Show quote history

But they still expected it to be a party and have foooooooooooood!

the “party” room was booked for 30 mins to allow for foooooood!

it really is totally normal to have fooooood at a party!

OP would’ve waited the extra 5 mins that would’ve been required for her DS to have eaten his party food! Not that any was provided!

Brightbear · 30/06/2023 20:44

5128gap · 30/06/2023 19:02

So, one or two boys mentioned there was no food. The OPs DS and the other boys all enjoyed the party and had fun. Seems the 23 pages of outrage on behalf of the poor hard done to guests was misplaced after all then.
I must admit I did think it was unusual for 11 year old boys to be so preoccupied with catering arrangements and so hungry from going a couple of hours past their lunch time that they'd boycott future parties. Glad they enjoyed and no harm done.

23 pages of outrage and you still think it was justified 🤔

Original poster
ImaMumtoaboy · 30/06/2023 23:09

5128gap · 30/06/2023 19:02

So, one or two boys mentioned there was no food. The OPs DS and the other boys all enjoyed the party and had fun. Seems the 23 pages of outrage on behalf of the poor hard done to guests was misplaced after all then.
I must admit I did think it was unusual for 11 year old boys to be so preoccupied with catering arrangements and so hungry from going a couple of hours past their lunch time that they'd boycott future parties. Glad they enjoyed and no harm done.

I arrived at 2.20 the boys went into party room at 2.05/2.10. We were told to collect at 2.30.
My ds left early as I arrived early the other kids would have been there till their parents collected at 2.30. Yes if he was eating I would have waited for him to finish. As I walked in the dad said X your mum is here.

A couple of the kids mentioned it in school that there was no food doesnt mean rhe other 12 didnt think it was odd just that they never said anything about it.
What would you expect them to say "your party is shit cos there was no food at it".
Most people teach their kids manners and to say they had fun and by 11/12 I would expect them to know not to pass comment to hurt someones feelings on purpose.
I never said we would boycott future parties. I kniw now to feed him before he goes, bring a drink and have 1 in the car when I collect him.

OP posts:
RachaelN · 01/07/2023 15:28

Personally if on a budget I would have made sure they at least had plenty of juice/water and a big slab of cake at the end. It is a bit odd not to provide enough to drink in hot weather during physical activity.