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Original poster

No party food or drink provided

577 replies

ImaMumtoaboy · 25/06/2023 16:15

So my ds(11) went to a football party yesterday. The minute we got in the car he asked to go the shop for a drink as he was so thirsty.
Party was at the local astro pitch, party room included that has 2 ovens, hob, 2 toasters, 2 microwaves and 2 fridges. Most parents bring in frozen pizzas and chips and cook them or order in pizzas.
Kids were running around for 2 hours in hot weather they were not offered any drinks during that time.
He said in the "party room" they got 1 small bottle of water (250ml) and a small slice of birthday cake. They only went into the room 10 minutes before I arrived to collect him.
When I went in the mother was packing up the cake which looked like there was about 3/4's left. I thought the kids must have had enough food that they didnt want cake. And parents cleaned up very quickly. Kids were all quiet(14 11/12 yr old boys) who are normally very loud at parties. Kids were just sitting waiting to be collected.Turns out they got a very very skinny slice, described by ds as thinner then a slice of bread.
Ended up bringing him to Mcdonalds as a treat and we seen 2 other parents of kids that were at the same party getting their kids food.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 27/06/2023 08:13

@5128gap but surely even someone as parsimonious as you can agree that we do need food to fuel vigorous activity 🙄

Brightbear · 27/06/2023 08:13

Itsbeennice · 27/06/2023 07:28

At 11, most kids can cup hands under a tap to get water for a drink, surely?
I'm with a PP who says that the fun playing and being active would have been the kernel of this sort of gathering. I wouldn't have minded. I'd have probably thought it was a bit weird to call it a "party", though, with all the connotations of food and drink.

😂😂😂

Or they could drink from a puddle maybe….

I mean why would anyone supply a paper cup as a drinking vessel, it would be so out there!

Fandabedodgy · 27/06/2023 08:15

At party at 12-2 should have had food

A party with physical activity should have provided drinks - water as bare minimum

Party bags not essential

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General food
Blankscreen · 27/06/2023 08:33

Fair enough to not do food if they tell people so you can plan accordingly, but hardly any drinks is beyond weird.

Blanketpolicy · 27/06/2023 08:44

2 hours of football in hot weather ds would have taken a refillable water bottle.

It is not mandatory to provide food at a party but I would be surprised there wasn't any over lunchtime as ds would probably not have eaten, then with running around would have been a bit grumpy. So surprised, not judgey and would just get something on way home/at home.

AngelinaFibres · 27/06/2023 08:47

CoreyTaylorsSoggyTshirt · 25/06/2023 16:24

🤣🤣 I swear MN isn't real sometimes.

Op I can't believe you took him to McDonalds. You should have taken him for a massive salad, far healthier.

My kids wouldn't have been hungry, they only eat 2 crumbs a day. Is there something wrong with your ds?

YANBU, I would have been annoyed

Show quote history

I hope those 2 crumbs are artisan and organic.

SlippySarah · 27/06/2023 08:49

Museya15 · 27/06/2023 06:31

I bet you were talked about for that! 🤣

Show quote history

I'm sure I'm talked about for all sorts of reasons! It's a good job I don't give a shit what the cats bum mouthed school gates gossips think about me. The kids had fun, it was a really unique activity which was carried out by a small local business. They had home made cupcakes, squash and water and none of them wanted to leave because they were having fun climbing trees and playing hide and seek. If people want to gossip about me for not serving ham sandwiches which would end up being thrown out they can crack on.

CaptainMyCaptain · 27/06/2023 08:49

It is not mandatory to provide food at a party I think food and drink are practically the definition of a party.

TinyTear · 27/06/2023 08:51

darkmodeon · 25/06/2023 16:16

It's not good for kids to eat large quantities of cake

This has got to be the best first comment ever.

After football for 2 hours??? Teenagers? Eat the whole fucking cake!

BitOutOfPractice · 27/06/2023 08:55

It’s genius isn’t it @TinyTear I laughed out loud for real when I read it! I might get it framed. Or tattooed onto my arm to commemorate peak MN.

Katiesaidthat · 27/06/2023 09:01

Crap party, but some people are crap hosts. My daughter had her birthday celebration recently, shared with other two kids, we made sure there was enough nibbles, drink and cake and that no one was hungry or thirsty. Set up a table in the park and that was it, no big expense and spending thousands on Michelin starred sandwhiches and stupid venues. It doesnt have to be expensive but there does have to be enough to go round. Parties have food and drink. If it doesnt just call it a footy meetup.

darkmodeon · 27/06/2023 09:06

ferntwist · 27/06/2023 05:36

OP has already said the cake served was thinner than a slice of bread. Suggested servings are never that small. OP said the hosts took 3/4 of their precious cake home, so cost was presumably not the issue, this suggests meanness.

You can’t invite a group of kids to a party from 12-2pm and not provide food. It seems positively dangerous not to offer sufficient water on a hot day when the kids are playing football.

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OP did not see the size of the serving

Channellingsophistication · 27/06/2023 09:07

I agree it is unusual not to provide food at a party, especially as over lunch and when an activity is involved.

However, it may be that the parents couldn’t afford to provide food but wanted their child to have a party? Although they should’ve told parents that lunch wasn’t provided.

He did get some water and a small piece of cake rather that nothing…..

SpicedPumpkinLatte · 27/06/2023 09:08

HermioneWeasley · 25/06/2023 16:28

Completely inhospitable. If you can’t afford to host people, don’t have a party

This

MasterBeth · 27/06/2023 09:14

User63847484848 · 25/06/2023 16:19

Well yes it is a bit unusual but hey ho, he survived.

I agree wholeheartedly with this message.

It was definitely sub-optimal but get over it.

Riverlee · 27/06/2023 09:29

Itsbeennice · 27/06/2023 07:28

At 11, most kids can cup hands under a tap to get water for a drink, surely?
I'm with a PP who says that the fun playing and being active would have been the kernel of this sort of gathering. I wouldn't have minded. I'd have probably thought it was a bit weird to call it a "party", though, with all the connotations of food and drink.

But the “party” was 12-2pm. Peak lunchtime period.

Plus it was on an astroturf. Can’t remember now whether it was at a leisure centre or not, but even if it were, it may have been away from taps.

Riverlee · 27/06/2023 09:29

AngelinaFibres · 27/06/2023 08:47

I hope those 2 crumbs are artisan and organic.

Show quote history

And vegan.

JusthereforXmas · 27/06/2023 09:38

Itsbeennice · 27/06/2023 07:28

At 11, most kids can cup hands under a tap to get water for a drink, surely?
I'm with a PP who says that the fun playing and being active would have been the kernel of this sort of gathering. I wouldn't have minded. I'd have probably thought it was a bit weird to call it a "party", though, with all the connotations of food and drink.

I have hosted parties where there hasn't been a suitible 'sit and eat' location. I still provided food bags with crisps, popcorn, cake, biscuits, drink, sweets etc... along side the party bag at the end.

They played for the full time but still had snacks so they weren't starving on the way home. Who knows what plans their parent have afterwards they might not be able to go straight home for the dinner they missed by attending the party.

JusthereforXmas · 27/06/2023 09:42

Blanketpolicy · 27/06/2023 08:44

2 hours of football in hot weather ds would have taken a refillable water bottle.

It is not mandatory to provide food at a party but I would be surprised there wasn't any over lunchtime as ds would probably not have eaten, then with running around would have been a bit grumpy. So surprised, not judgey and would just get something on way home/at home.

What ettiquette books have you misread?

It has always been mandatory to provide food at a party, thats called hosting and being hosted thats literally what defines it as a party otherwise its just a meet up.

user1492757084 · 27/06/2023 10:02

Chalk it up to experience.
Hope they all enjoyed the games and water.

J0S · 27/06/2023 10:29

uncomfortablydumb53 · 25/06/2023 16:30

I think the parents were rude
If they couldn't afford party food, at least put out jugs of squash and biscuits on a hot day
It's not expectation's it's human courtesy

I agree.

Original poster
ImaMumtoaboy · 27/06/2023 10:33

So party invite was
My ds is invited to birthday boys FOOTBALL PARTY. Games and fun 12-2. (Collect 2.30)

Now the kids have been to 6 of these parties this year alone in same location and set up is 2 hours of football(on astro pitch) 30 in kitchen/party room. I know this because I have done it for my own ds. He has a winter birthday so I booked this last summer as a kick around for his friends and I provided food and drinks. Didnt word it as a party just a kick around.
You bring your own food or order in. Plenty of ways to heat food. You clean up kitchen for next group arriving 15 mins after you leave.
I arrived at 2.20 and room/table was clean, no plates, cups or drinks out. Mother was putting cake away.
Kids all sitting at table not talking, just waiting.
My ds was first to leave and as we got in the car he asked for a drink cos he was thirsty as he only had a small drink.
He told me they left the astro at 2, lined up and went into room at 2.05/2.10 cake was already cut and mother was handing it out as they walked in on napkins.
I had to get petrol and mcdonalds is right beside it so went in a got my ds food he had a big mac, fries and a mcflurry and enjoyed every mouthful and I was the best in the world 🥰. So win win for me. By time we got home my ds had already had a couple of texts from the other kids saying what was that, there was no food??? Football was fun but Im starving.
I told my ds not to get involved with the kids talking bad about it.
It was more the kids commenting on it that made me post about it. No it wasnt a big deal my ds didnt get food because I went and got him food anyway but its really unusual.
I had the birthday boy turn up at my house (not arranged)3 weeks ago at 11.30 1 morning. And i txt the mother to say he was here. She text back will you send him home at 2. Are you going to give him lunch?
So she knows most kids eat between 12 and 2.

OP posts:
Caramelatt · 27/06/2023 10:50

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 25/06/2023 18:12

Gosh, a cake slice the thickness of a slice of bread is more than ample op!

Do you often overfeed your kids?

Personally I would have cut those slices in half.

Too much water is bad for you, 250ml sounds about right for a two hour exercise session.

At lunch time with no other food item?

georgarina · 27/06/2023 11:09

@Itsbeennice
At 11, most kids can cup hands under a tap to get water for a drink, surely?
That is gold. I hope you're not a party planner 😂

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 27/06/2023 11:26

what the hell IS a party without food and drink ???

doesnt matter whether it's for kids or adults, a party is a get together and celebration with friends, food and drink at the absolute minimum !! How hard is it to provide water / squash and a pile of pizzas at the very least. Shitty hosts.

As for the twat earlier that said kids shouldn't eat cake ---- go fuck yourself marie antoinette.