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Original poster

No party food or drink provided

577 replies

ImaMumtoaboy · 25/06/2023 16:15

So my ds(11) went to a football party yesterday. The minute we got in the car he asked to go the shop for a drink as he was so thirsty.
Party was at the local astro pitch, party room included that has 2 ovens, hob, 2 toasters, 2 microwaves and 2 fridges. Most parents bring in frozen pizzas and chips and cook them or order in pizzas.
Kids were running around for 2 hours in hot weather they were not offered any drinks during that time.
He said in the "party room" they got 1 small bottle of water (250ml) and a small slice of birthday cake. They only went into the room 10 minutes before I arrived to collect him.
When I went in the mother was packing up the cake which looked like there was about 3/4's left. I thought the kids must have had enough food that they didnt want cake. And parents cleaned up very quickly. Kids were all quiet(14 11/12 yr old boys) who are normally very loud at parties. Kids were just sitting waiting to be collected.Turns out they got a very very skinny slice, described by ds as thinner then a slice of bread.
Ended up bringing him to Mcdonalds as a treat and we seen 2 other parents of kids that were at the same party getting their kids food.

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 26/06/2023 20:13

They could have bought five large pizzas from Aldi for less than a fiver. I think they're 80p each in the freezer section. It's just rude.

TheFormidableMrsC · 26/06/2023 20:14

Xeren · 25/06/2023 17:11

But I bet the host still expected birthday gifts?😂

My thoughts exactly. I'd be embarrassed personally.

Mothership4two · 27/06/2023 02:41

Certainly not standard around here. In the many many parties that both DS went to over the years, they had food and drink provided, birthday cake usually went in the gift bag to go home and I never sent them in with a water bottle.

Sounds like they simply couldn't afford party food on top of the venue.

If you don't provide food then it's a good idea to let everyone know beforehand so that they can plan around it but drinks should have been available throughout on a hot day.

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General food
ferntwist · 27/06/2023 05:26

darkmodeon · 25/06/2023 16:16

It's not good for kids to eat large quantities of cake

Talk about missing the point of a post. Some posters will do anything to lay into an OP these days. Does it make you feel superior? You can tell OP is genuinely concerned that the kids were left without enough water on a hot day and weren’t given any proper food

ferntwist · 27/06/2023 05:36

darkmodeon · 25/06/2023 16:59

I do but I appreciate mine is a lot younger so I probably haven't got the experience others have. I genuinely don't think it's wrong to stick to the suggested serving size on a box of cake.

Show quote history

OP has already said the cake served was thinner than a slice of bread. Suggested servings are never that small. OP said the hosts took 3/4 of their precious cake home, so cost was presumably not the issue, this suggests meanness.

You can’t invite a group of kids to a party from 12-2pm and not provide food. It seems positively dangerous not to offer sufficient water on a hot day when the kids are playing football.

RedNosedReindeer · 27/06/2023 05:55

ImaMumtoaboy · 25/06/2023 16:39

I know they dont have to provide food but honestly most kids expect it.
It was from 12 to 2 so over lunchtime.
The invitation said birthday party.
They could have easily mentioned there was no food or drinks been provided.
They moved to the area about 2 years ago and their son has been to enough parties that has provided food and drinks.
My ds said 1 of the kids asked for more cake and was told no.

I was initially wondering if it was a cultural thing but then saw that the birthday party host has attended other parties in the space of the two years that she’s moved to the area. It’s not that expensive to buy squash and providing the tap water is drinkable, it’s confusing as to why at least some beverages were not provided on a hot day with kids being active. Even provided sports themed snacks would have been an inexpensive option. But the fact that this person refused to give cake when the invitees asked for some, might mean she really has some sort of strict dietary restrictions or thinks that they’ll have lunch after 2PM Confused

RedNosedReindeer · 27/06/2023 05:59

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 26/06/2023 18:11

It’s such a weird phenomenon of Mumsnet that people post on here, being competitively unbothered, and criticising anyone for expecting anything other than the most puritanical and austere of kids’ parties/weddings/birthdays, etc. It’s absolutely hilarious. 😂

As if they’re suggesting people are greedy, demanding twats for wanting something slightly fun or for their kids to be offered more than water and a miserly translucent slice of cake at a two-hour party, which fell over lunch time, and was physically active.

I did wonder if it’s a Mumsnet phenomenon because it started making me think what was the need to show how “cool” you are about something as though others are getting worked up over something so inconsequential. But you summed it up really well Cake

inappropriateraspberry · 27/06/2023 06:00

I8toys · 25/06/2023 19:31

I hope there were no party bags either. On mumsnet a party is not meant to be any fun at all - zero party food or fun for anyone. They are meant to just play musical chairs for 2 hours and lump it.

No party bag, but you'll be given 2 sunflower seeds to plant at home, for the parents to take responsibility of caring and watering.

inappropriateraspberry · 27/06/2023 06:02

Mrsjayy · 26/06/2023 08:19

I had 90s children it was all about the harbio and plastic tatt😄

It still is! And the plastic tat actually hangs around for years.
My kids love a good party bag with a balloon, stickers, sweets, plastic tat toy and cake.

SlippySarah · 27/06/2023 06:23

I have hosted many kids parties over the years and am always horrified at the amount of food that goes to waste. This year DS had a party that was an activity out in the woods so there was no way I was going to lay out plates of sandwiches and carrot sticks. They got drinks and a cupcake each and had more time to play which is what kids really want imo.

Museya15 · 27/06/2023 06:30

Sounds like an absolute shit party.

Museya15 · 27/06/2023 06:31

SlippySarah · 27/06/2023 06:23

I have hosted many kids parties over the years and am always horrified at the amount of food that goes to waste. This year DS had a party that was an activity out in the woods so there was no way I was going to lay out plates of sandwiches and carrot sticks. They got drinks and a cupcake each and had more time to play which is what kids really want imo.

I bet you were talked about for that! 🤣

LadyJ2023 · 27/06/2023 06:31

I personally wouldn't have read anything into this. Some people can afford a proper party some can't, either way I'm sure the kids had fun playing and it's no big deal to grab tea in way home for them

inappropriateraspberry · 27/06/2023 06:37

SlippySarah · 27/06/2023 06:23

I have hosted many kids parties over the years and am always horrified at the amount of food that goes to waste. This year DS had a party that was an activity out in the woods so there was no way I was going to lay out plates of sandwiches and carrot sticks. They got drinks and a cupcake each and had more time to play which is what kids really want imo.

But these were 11/12 year old boys who had been running around for 2 hours - I'm sure they wouldn't have wasted the food!
Plus, if there's so much food waste at you parties, serve less!

georgarina · 27/06/2023 06:55

Embarrassingly weird and stingy

For those who said maybe they can't afford it - OP clearly says there was lots of cake left over but they wouldn't let the kids have more

Riverlee · 27/06/2023 07:02

LadyJ2023 · 27/06/2023 06:31

I personally wouldn't have read anything into this. Some people can afford a proper party some can't, either way I'm sure the kids had fun playing and it's no big deal to grab tea in way home for them

If you can’t afford a party, then don’t host one. Or do something on a smaller scale.

RampantIvy · 27/06/2023 07:07

Riverlee · 27/06/2023 07:02

If you can’t afford a party, then don’t host one. Or do something on a smaller scale.

Show quote history

This ^^

Play football at the rec, and provide sandwiches and drinks instead of paying for a venue.
Or word the invitation so that there is no expectation of food. Use tap water instead of buying individual plastic bottles.

5128gap · 27/06/2023 07:15

Its unusual certainly and they should have provided water.
However, objectively I think its far better to spend the limited party time on the activity as its not great if children that age prefer chicken nuggets and pizza to having fun. I remember it always being a struggle to persuade DC away from the activity to the food, and so much waste always. As a general principle it doesn't hurt to move away from food with everything idea that seems to have taken hold and teach DC you don't need to be eating to enjoy yourself. Perhaps the birthday child family prioritise games over food. Perhaps it'll catch on!

Theoldgreygoose · 27/06/2023 07:19

Alighttouchonthetiller · 25/06/2023 16:21

I'd expect food at a kids' party. But then I am not a typical Mumsnetter, in that I eat actual meals instead of sucking on an alfalfa sprout and fully expect heaps of cake, iced party rings and mountains of chips at every celebratory occasion.

Now that sounds like my kind of party!

RampantIvy · 27/06/2023 07:25

5128gap · 27/06/2023 07:15

Its unusual certainly and they should have provided water.
However, objectively I think its far better to spend the limited party time on the activity as its not great if children that age prefer chicken nuggets and pizza to having fun. I remember it always being a struggle to persuade DC away from the activity to the food, and so much waste always. As a general principle it doesn't hurt to move away from food with everything idea that seems to have taken hold and teach DC you don't need to be eating to enjoy yourself. Perhaps the birthday child family prioritise games over food. Perhaps it'll catch on!

We are talking about 11 year old growing children here not self righteous, joyless adults. And the food doesn't have to be beige junk.

Itsbeennice · 27/06/2023 07:28

At 11, most kids can cup hands under a tap to get water for a drink, surely?
I'm with a PP who says that the fun playing and being active would have been the kernel of this sort of gathering. I wouldn't have minded. I'd have probably thought it was a bit weird to call it a "party", though, with all the connotations of food and drink.

PuppyMonkey · 27/06/2023 07:52

My favourite bit on the thread is one kid asking for more cake and being told “no.” You’ve got to admire that level of no nonsense stinginess, honestly. Grin

NeedToChangeName · 27/06/2023 07:56

They should have told kids to bring a water bottle and snacks

I'm surprised kids didn't take their own water bottles to a sports party

bussteward · 27/06/2023 08:09

At 11, most kids can cup hands under a tap to get water for a drink, surely?
I think this suggestion actually beats the “it’s not good for kids to eat cake” comment.

Stopsnowing · 27/06/2023 08:12

I have noticed a trend for just providing cake and a drink which is fine if the party doesn’t fall across a meal time. Where I am activity based parties are at least 20 quid per head just for the activity so I suspect they were trying to economise on the food.