Does being nice / walked over for too long make you bitter?

[beeonmybonnett]

I have to say it’s how I feel at the minute. I am a nice person but long story short, I have had people take advantage of me, use me and treat me like dirt. I’m sick of being a people pleaser all of the time.

I have been walked over and haven’t stood up for myself an awful lot.

Sometimes I feel quite angry at the world and bitter towards some people. Anyone else?

Yes. I think it's probably the origin story of a lot of villains, real life fictional.

Yes, I think so. Everyone has enough at some point.

This is fascinating can you explain?

Yes. It took being repeatedly bullied, walked over and used and then when I finally said no and stop in exactly the same way as anyone else would (no shouting, just a simple ‘please stop’) I was treated like the devil. I feel bitter and angry that I used up so much of my precious time and resources for so long on people who didn’t give a damn about me.

Yes, definitely

☝exactly the same! Took me till about 60 before I politely said no, so annoyed at myself for not doing it sooner🤦‍♀️

I'm a nice, relaxed person but have never been a people pleaser.

I find it very easy to say no and to stick up for myself.
I do feel bitter towards bullies though especially those that take advantage of their position. I have great hatred towards them.

If it's gone on for too long you're bound to feel resentful when someone takes advantage of your good nature. I know I do.

The thing is to get away from them.

But you’ve chosen to people-please. Take some responsibility for having contributed to the dynamic, rather than going along with it and resenting it. Most women get socialised to ‘be nice’ and put others first, but we all have to unpick those scripts.