Embarrassing problem - looking for advice

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Right. This is serious TMI. Please look away now if grossed out. Involves poo!

After 2 x traumatic births (pulled out by forceps, cord round neck etc)...I have a problem with pooing. Had it for 3 years now.

Have to put my fingers in my vagina to push it out. It's like a bulge. I know it's prolapse obviously. Seen physio, seen NHS nurses. Given exercises and told to eat more fibre. NHS tell me to go away basically. Every time I go back to doc it's takes 6-9 months for appointment then they take a look and say no that bad, exercise should sort it. But we are 3 or 4 years in now.

Anyone had this and fixed it? I have two kids v close in age and ivd just got on with it. No one knows. Not visible so husband doesn't know. I don't wee myself. I can lift things. I just can't poo without using this gross method. I can't be like this forever!

Anyone had this and fixed it? What do I need to do?

It sounds like you have a rectocele and what you're doing is splinting, and probably far more common than you realise. Have you ever seen a women's health physio?

https://www.verywellhealth.com/vaginal-splinting-1945071

Just pressing down on the perineum can be as effective. No amount of exercise can get rid of a rectocele, but yours honestly does not sound that bad.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. These exercises they've given you, have any suggested using a kegal machine?

I found I didn't have any muscle strength to begin with so a nurse provided me with a machine for six weeks to see if I had any improvement. I did, and I bought my own machine to carry on improving. Would they refer you?

How on earth can what she describes be 'not that bad'? It sounds awful to me. Why are women expected to just put up with things like this and go away?

Definitely go and see a women's health physio!

Women's health physio, and possibly the continence service too.

You need a referral by your GP to the colorectal nurse at your local hospital.

They will probably help you get a pelvic toning device programmed, a bit like a tens machine with a vaginal insert.

Once your pelvic muscles are tip top you may find this issue has resolved itself.

If not the colorectal nurse will advise you and may refer to the colorectal surgeon to take a a look.

Always start off with the least invasive methods.

They obviously mean they think you should just live with it. I wouldn’t like to have to do that everytime I needed to poo either. I had a birth that sounds similar to you have now have a uterine prolapse. So no advice just empathy.

@inloveandmarried Yes - so I have seen those nurses who gave me advice on what to eat, to do my kegals, and to sit with my knees up when on the loo. Same advice from the woman's physio too. But none of that is working. It's not getting worst, just the same. A doctor took a look and said it doesn't look bad at all and i should be able to recover with exercises and diet, but 3 years later i'm still in the same position. I wonder if persary is next step? Has anyone actually fixed it through exercise?

@INeedAnotherName I have a perifit - which I jsut found though googling. I don't use as much as I should these days but i did it so consistenly and nothing got better. Is that what you mean? They did say I have weak muscles down there so to focus on that.

And yes @JackRosenberg pretty much all my conversastions with NHS have been "this happens a lot, keep exercising, eat more fibre, drink more water, see what happens" - problem is if i go back to doc months later to say no change, he then refers me and then it's 6 months until a letter comes through with another appointmetn and i just cna't seem to get anywhere. I keep hearing it's not that bad and it's common - but surely it can't be I have to use my fingers to help me poo for the rest of my life?? It's so horrible. I hate even writing it down. Nobody in my life has any idea that's what I have to do.

to do my kegals

Sometimes your muscles are too weak (or you are unable to use the right ones) to do it by yourself and you need a machine to start them off.

A specialist nurse got me to try and no matter where she placed her hands she could not feel my muscles contracting. I had to have a machine.

I'm not saying it will cure you, but don't discount it.

@INeedAnotherName and just to be clear - a machine is different to a Perifit https://uk.perifit.co/ ? So I purchased one of those - I put it in and then it has a silly video games and I do my exercises and it tells me how much strength i have and gives me exercises etc. Cost me over £100, but maybe I've got the wrong thing. Did the machine you have look/do things differently?

And yes I know it looks like a dildo/vibrator. And yes our cleaner did see it in the bathroom and moved it. SHAME.

Gosh how i wish it was a vibrator and not some contraption to fix a poo problem!

I have no advice sorry but just to say Im angry on your behalf. It IS THAT BAD, you have to put your fingers in your vagina to poo! Arseholes who think women should just put up with that infuriate me. You poor thing. Perhaps referral to a specialist surgeon now? You seem to have tried everthing else.

This is the one used by the hospital (purple one). I also bought this to use at home after the 6 week course as I found it very beneficial. No idea if yours is similar, sorry.

Ohhh I read your post again. No apps, no games. It basically uses electrical impulses to contact your muscles for you. Mini electric shocks in reality. I couldn't go above 40 on their scale so start very low if you buy it.

I've just been loaned a gadget which is like the ones shown above from a continence clinic.

There is a bit you put in your vagina and it gives an electrical stimulation to your pelvic floor muscles which makes them contract - similar to a Tens machine. I've only had it a couple of days but am hoping it will help with urinary incontinence.

It is rubbish you are being told 'it's not that bad' WTAF?!!

You're not alone x

I'm so very sorry for you and all other women experiencing things like this.

How dare doctors (and even a previous poster) say it doesn't sound very bad. Despicable.

If I were you ie go down there and really exaggerate, and say even that isn't working very well now and you need something doing about it. Say your mental health is suffering. You deserve to see a specialist who can help you.

I'm loathe to say it but if that takes too long, can you save up and go private?

You've tried the stimulator and the exercises and are no better.
Most likely you need surgery. Sometimes you can do all the exercise in the world but it won't put everything back on the right shelf in the cupboard, so to speak.
(Ex WH PT)

I had this after my first baby, precipitous birth and second degree tear repaired awfully (extra stitch for ‘tightness’ for husband 🤨 Couldn’t have sx without pain and had to do exactly what you were describing having to push the ‘back wall’ with my thumb to get it out. I was too embarrassed to go to the doctors. I did lots of kegel exercises and it improved slightly. Second baby (4 years later) another super fast birth at home, bad third degree horrible tear. I was stitched by a brilliant surgeon in theatre which took ages and somehow this fixed the poo problem. Third baby I couldn’t risk a fourth degree so opted for a c section. So sorry this is happening to you, I really hope it improves (virtual hug)

@Bluetrews25 could a pessary help do you think?

I've read some horror stories about surgery.

There are different types of pessaries depending on the specific problem.

there is one that looks like a thick ring that comes in different sizes and the gynaecologist or specialist nurse is the one that fits it because they have to make sure that the size is right and that it does not hurt the tissue in the area.

Pessaries are in place to prevent the uterus rectum or bladder to get out of your vulva. I am unsure if they are able to help with your bladder movements.

there are others with different shapes so you have to make an appointment again to see in that is going to help you.