Embarrassing problem - looking for advice

[LastResort1]

Right. This is serious TMI. Please look away now if grossed out. Involves poo!

After 2 x traumatic births (pulled out by forceps, cord round neck etc)...I have a problem with pooing. Had it for 3 years now.

Have to put my fingers in my vagina to push it out. It's like a bulge. I know it's prolapse obviously. Seen physio, seen NHS nurses. Given exercises and told to eat more fibre. NHS tell me to go away basically. Every time I go back to doc it's takes 6-9 months for appointment then they take a look and say no that bad, exercise should sort it. But we are 3 or 4 years in now.

Anyone had this and fixed it? I have two kids v close in age and ivd just got on with it. No one knows. Not visible so husband doesn't know. I don't wee myself. I can lift things. I just can't poo without using this gross method. I can't be like this forever!

Anyone had this and fixed it? What do I need to do?

Sorry, bowel movements I meant

Also re pelvic floor - it won’t always fix it. I have very strong pelvic floor but have ligament damage so it won’t reverse my prolapse.

I can't advise re pessary as don't know enough.
It might be something to try and see how you go, then move on to surgery if it doesn't give the desired effect.
I've also heard horror stories from not having surgery.
Better to have surgery when younger than when old and infirm, generally speaking.

Hi sorry to hear this but it’s very common! This is a lovely group APOPS on Facebook that will support you https://m.facebook.com/groups/184143085606/?ref=share

I have similar issues and spent several months with specialist nurses. Surgeon couldn't give a toss. I now use irrigation and it's made life much better (irrisedo minigo). There are different types of irrigator depending on where exactly the issue is.

What?! Of course it sounds bad!

@LastResort1 I did fix the issue with this unit. Also the purple one. The colorectal nurse at our hospital is very good and programmed it for me.

A message from the other side…
I definitely had this- I remember doing exactly what you described. But 20+ years after my last child I can’t remember the last time I had to do it, at least 10/15 years?
I have fantastic bowels 😬
I’m really really conscientious and monitor all digestion stuff as I’m aware of indigestion/ constipation etc. being a real limiter as you get older. What’s your diet like? I drink gallons of water and eat mainly plant based (always Bristol 3/4)
I’d forgotten about it but it was grim.

Don't discount that she has to put her fingers into her vagina to take a poo like that's normal!!!!!!

It's an absolute disgrace that women are continuously fobbed off like this by the 'healthcare system' in this country. Mumsnet should start a campaign about this!!

I have similar OP. A 'mild' uterus prolapse and a rectocele (same as what you are describing). Have to do splinting at times.

I went back and forth to the GP three times before they would refer me to a specialist, just kept saying it's results of childbirth - and I'm still waiting for an appointment nearly a year later!!

Physio offered was a phone call!! and a sheet of exercises which I could have googled online. I paid to see a private physio which was the limit of what I can afford (£40 once a month). I cannot afford private surgery so we are just left to suffer. I also have the kegel 8 machine and a perifit. The physio said that it's not my floor it's my ligaments so won't help, but I do them anyway. Same re fibre, I do that too.

Next time you see them you could try being firm in saying that you have tried all of the measures they have offered and you want something more done.

The effects on my life have been huge. Can no longer lift much weight at all, had to change from a career I loved, frequent discomfort, can no longer do some of my hobbies, the effects on my long term relationship and confidence and sex life terrible - and I am a 'mild' case. Goodness knows what others have to put up with being left for years!!

Only suggestion I have is you say you can still lift - if possible try not to lift. I was told not to lift more than 5kg ever, and not to be on my feet all day.

I also asked about pessaries. The physio said there are various types and usually with trial and error, one can be found which helps.

However - there is only one type that you can have sex with. The rest you cannot have sex whilst they are in place and it is difficult to remove them yourself so they need changed every few months. So really only one type suitable for younger women.

There were horror stories around mesh and I am wary of surgery also, in case of swapping one set of problems for another. However if it works then it can be great.

You can bet that if it were men experiencing this, then more funding and research would be being put in, and they wouldn't be experiencing huge waiting lists for help!!

I have just started seeing my gp for needing to do the same thing op you are not alone x

What the hell do you mean? Don't you dare minimise the op's experience. It's not normal to have to force poos out digitally. Don't pretend it is.

I'm so glad I read this! I'm the same since my recent third baby. I feel embarrassed everytime I need to go, even though no one knows. Occasionally, I can feel the bulge very slightly on the outside too! I've mentioned it to the Dr who just said it will get better. I'm very interested in the machines posted above now.

Another example of women’s health taking a back seat.

I’m so sorry that this has become your normal!

OP I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I'm enraged that they haven't taken this seriously. I can't give you any advice but please please don't be embarrassed. You deserve to get this sorted and feel good about yourself.
Keep well and strong x
And...@lurchermummy you sound like an utter nob.

You are not alone.

I have had this for last six years or so.

I started a new way of eating and within six weeks I now do a poo totally normally.

I was mainly plant based plus fish. I really upped my intake of extra virgin olive oil, avocados, seeds and nuts, make sure I eat an even larger variety of veg fruit and salad, using spinach and kale etc so basically upped my fibre and good fat foods, I had joined Zoe Nutrition and this was a most unexpected outcome for me.

I really hope you find your answer.

Go and get seen privately.

You should not have to live like this!

It’s really quite hard to make this crappy situation worse for the OP, but you managed it.

@mathanxiety Don't you realise that the vast majority of the population simply cannot "Go and get seen privately" ??!! Many, many, women, private healthcare is way beyond our reach, and we are just suffering with this. We need a functioning healthcare system, and there just isn't one.

The 'functioning healthcare system' ship has sailed.

She needs to tell her husband what is going on, and they need to budget to get her treated.

I hope he will be suitably horrified that she is in such dire straits and will be willing to do whatever it takes to fix the problem.

Personally, if I thought a family member was suffering in silence like this for months, I would be horrified if I had spent a single penny on any small luxury.

She has lived for three years like this and her husband is completely in the dark.

Have they gone on holiday in those three years? Gone out to eat? Bought each other Christmas presents?

OP - you need to tell your husband and you need to put your heads together to find a way to afford private treatment.

It really is common though, it's just that no one talks about having it. And it really is 'not that bad' in comparison with other prolapse problems.

I had it, put up with it for years. Tried the ring pessary. Had several NHS appointments where I got lectured about losing weight.
DHs work health insurance covered it in the end. The best bit was actually the perineum repair. I was disappointed they wouldn't whip my uterus out at the same time, though.

Mesh isn't used now, I don't think. It wasn't always used before. It wasn't used on mine about 8 years ago.

I use a ring pessary that I just leave in for 6m each time and change. So can have sex etc.

They’re not hard to take in and out - more fiddly than a tampon. I’d say like using a moon cup.

@mathanxiety and what about those of us who cannot 'budget' to pay for our own healthcare? I've not been on holiday since 2007, after bills there is nothing left. No family who can help. Those of us left like this for years..

If any issue needs campaigning on, it's this!!