What's an appropriate gift to take when staying at a friend's house?

[moranming]

We are going to stay with some friends of ours for the weekend. We have known them professionally for 5-6 years, but only in the last year did we become friendly outside of work.

They are very generous and always insist on paying for food or supplying us with wine when we visit. We haven't been to this house before as it's in the countryside.

What is considered too little or too much to take?
So far we are going to: bake something to take, a £20 bottle of plonk, £50 box of chocolates. I think that's enough, but DH wants to take another £40 bottle of wine.

Just a bottle of something would be enough, and maybe a bunch of flowers. Spending fifty quid on chocolates is crazy!

£50 chocolates - you can come and stay at mine!
If you wanted to bring something else then maybe a potted plant or flowers.

I would have thought just one of those things was plenty (and I'd go with the homemade baking as I think that's always appreciated).

If it was me I'd bring 2 nice bottles of wine and flowers. I would also insist on taking them out for at least one nice meal and paying for it. If we were doing any activities I'd prob offer to pay for that too.

However, when I have family travelling to stay with me I try and pay for most things as they've paid airfares to come so it has cost them more. Usually our guests do take us out for a meal.

Everything you mentioned but instead of the extra bottle of wine get a nice bouquet of flowers.

We live in the country and have people come to stay. People usually bring a couple of bottles of wine. I'd be delighted if someone brought something they'd baked themselves. I'd feel a bit uncomfortable if they brought everything in your op. Feels OTT and like you're trying too hard

I’d take a bottle of wine that I know is delicious (which would probably be around the £15 mark) and some flowers.

I would then make sure we paid for a nice meal out, by nipping to the loo after a dessert. I wouldn’t even put them in a position where they could insist to pay.

£50 box of chocolates-blimey!

Depends what you do/what they’re like. Do you tend to drink wine when you’re there? If you do-I’d be more likely to take a few bottles/case.

I’d probably take flowers as well.

What do they bring when they stay at yours?

£50 box of chocolates!!

I've never had anyone bring more than a £5-10 bottle of wine and a few quids worth of chocolate for the kids. That's the kind of thing I'd take, about £10-15 worth depending on the size of the household. I expect we move in different circles 😂

Do they live in a different area to you? Or quite close?
Our friends have brought us a little local items hamper when they've stayed with us (they live a few hours away). Things like local cheeses, snacks etc something the area is known for :) doesn't have to be too expensive!

I live in Lancashire so id do something like some Lancashire cheese, bury black pudding, Lancashire crisps etc 😊

Good idea about local produce, but they actually have a house in the same city as us too!

We wouldn't ordinarily spend £50 on chocs, but they like the finer things in life, and essentially have whatever they want as they're wealthy (think £10mil+). So wanted to get something that would be special even to them if you see

I think as you’re staying the weekend and they are supplying food and drink, you are close to right.

I’d take the same amount of wine as we would drink though. So two bottles min is right, with the nice chocs and some flowers. No matter how wealthy or the fact they invited, it’s important to not look like you’re there for a free feed.

£50 on chocolates!! Blimey.
I personally would have taken a couple of bottles of wine because no doubt you'll drink them and wine's an expensive thing for the host to provide for the entire weekend. I don't see the point in spending a fortune. You can get lonely wine around £10 a bottle. I'd also have taken chocolates (around the £10 mark) or some flowers/a plant.

Nice bottle of wine or two and some flowers.

I'd rather spend the £50 quid on nicer wine. Especially if they like the finer things!

I'd go with 2 nice bottles (one fizz and one red) and some chocolates I think.

Nice tea and coffee selection that they can enjoy for awhile. I’d not get wine because they sound like they have the best anyway.

I would be horrified if I thought that someone had spent £50 on a box of chocolates to come and visit me.

A bottle of lovely wine is absolutely fine.

A plant, some luxury biscuits and a bottle of decent wine!

I wouldn't bother with the chocolates.
A nice bottle and some flowers/plant is enough. The aren't hosting to get gifts - they want your company, that's the real gift to them. They want to share their home and time with you, you don't have to go mad giving them things in return.

That's embarrassingly too much! Something baked and a bottle of wine is absolutely fine.

" No matter how wealthy or the fact they invited, it’s important to not look like you’re there for a free feed."

Also important to not look like you're paying for your stay....

Bake something, lovely flowers, good wine x 2

ditch the chocolate! Then send a thank you card / message after

We did a Fortnum's cool bag hamper. There's a few nice bits in it and you get a useful picnic bag at the end.

Food or booze is generally the answer

Ditch the chocolates, take wine and baked goods. The send a small bunch of flowers they day after you arrive home as a thank you.

Do they like wine? If they do, then I understand your dh wanting to take two bottles instead of one. When we stay with people, we do take quite a bit of booze so I would probably bring more than one bottle.

Is money isn’t a problem, I’d let dh crack on and buy the extra bottle. If you don’t want to spend too much, then I think drop the chocolates. You’re bringing home made baking which kind of covers that base.