Are UK parents obsessed with getting their kids to bed early?

[RosieLeaLovesTea]

Am I the only one that thinks UK parents are obsessed with getting their kids to bed early? I see posts of 7pm/7.30pm, some as early as 6pm.

I work full time and don’t get home until 6.30pm. We don’t eat until 7pm. So generally 9pm is bedtime. Plus it means that if we do go out at weekends our kids are used to going to bed a bit later.

@Topseyt123 but you would have seen your kids still - just in the morning not the evening. Mine were in a much better mood first thing than they ever were after nursery so we enjoyed that morning time.

It's fine if 8pm worked for you but people who do early bedtimes still see their children, just at a different time

Well in the UK we start work/school early. In other countries I've been to like Spain shops and places don't start opening until about 10.

No. Since they were in nursery from about 8.30am (breakfast there) then we would hardly have seen them in the morning either.

Weekends were our main family time together and it became less of an issue with DD2 and DD3 because my hours changed and I didn't end up going back to that job for practical reasons. DH remained the same for years though and the bedtime routine was set. It never changed as he would never have seen them if it did. Suited me and him.

Depends on circumstances.

When my DS was younger, they started with a childminder at 7am as I had to commute for work (single parent). This meant our routine was getting up around 5:45-6am daily.

An early bedtime was important so they got the sleep they needed.

It is a weird uk thing.

I want my DCs to be part of my life. That includes evenings.

Wait until they're teens and go to bed later than you!

So, in summary, your desire to have your child wake up later and have childfree mornings makes you a better parent than someone who wants their children in bed earlier to have childfree evenings.

It's the same amount of childfree time as children sleep more than adults. It's just about when you have it. And for many parents they are following their child's natural schedule.

I read, play and chill with my children - at the weekends, they bring a pile of books into our bedroom at 7am and it's actually really nice.

Mine were in nursery for 8 but since they were up at 6, that was two hours together - which is a fairly direct swap for what you did in the evening.

It depends on your own life as well though. I used to have a long commute meaning dc had to be up early and therefore to bed early.
Many other countries don't even have two working parents let alone two working parents with very long commutes as is standard for many parts of the U.K.

So you have to compare the reality of life within the U.K. to the countries you are speaking about.

So I should keep my daughter up late so we can spend more time together even though by 7pm she is extremely tired and miserable but guess that doesn't matter 🤯. My daughter needs at least 10 hours sleep and need to be at nursery for 8am

Oh stop it. You know U.K. children who go to bed earlier are part of their parents’ lives, don’t be a windup merchant.

Don’t rise to it, it’s pure windup.

Try and be a safe space for your parent friends to complain to; perhaps try and understand that there are different ways of parenting and your way isn’t the right way. Maybe that’s already the case, but your post seems quite heavy on the judgement. They’re not “complaining” because they’re idiots who haven’t thought of an alternative. Maybe it’s the best scenario even if it means 5am wake ups. Maybe their kids don’t let them get chores done while they’re awake. Maybe they’ve got older kids who need to get up for the school run.

You do realise that people live their lives in the mornings too, right? Kids who go to bed at 7pm don't sleep for 14 hours.

Is it a weird MN thing? Thinking you’re better than other parents because of the time your child goes to bed? (Whether that’s early or late?) why are MNers obsessed with when other people’s children go to bed?

It's the same as when people eat their dinner! That always gets people upset

This. Most young kids need 10-12 hours sleep, so to get up early enough for nursery/school, they need to go to bed early...

Saying that, mine have never gone to bed at 6.30... 7.30-8 is more their natural bed time, though after 8 is pushing it as my DD7 still often needs 11-12 hours sleep

Mine were up at 7. Time for nappy change, get them dressed and give a bottle at the same time as trying to get ourselves ready to go.

My children were ND and their body clocks dictated that they went to sleep around 10pm and awoke around 8am, which I felt was reasonable. From around age four they kept this schedule. They never awoke early, even when unwell.

A child waking up around 7, isn't having a child free morning. Most people who want their child free evenings also whinge about the 5am wake ups.

I have trumped you both, mine are always up 6am even at weekends.

I have to be at work for 8.30am, my kids get up at 6.30am-6.45-am Monday to Friday, to be a wrap around for 7.30am, latest they go bed is 8.30pm, when they were under 10 it was 7-7.30pm. I finish work at 3.30 so plenty of time before bed to play etc.

It's not a British thing it's a practicality thing .

A child going to bed at 7/7:30 isn't a childfree evening either ...

I'd say it was. What time do you go to bed!

Anyone who spouts the “I love my children more because I like spending all evening with them” bollocks is just as bad as the “I am a better person because I like getting up early” crowd

Who wants to be up at 6 if they could sleep till 8 though? To get up at 6 you would have to start getting ready for bed at 9.30pm, that’s no sort of life for an adult.