Are UK parents obsessed with getting their kids to bed early?

[RosieLeaLovesTea]

Am I the only one that thinks UK parents are obsessed with getting their kids to bed early? I see posts of 7pm/7.30pm, some as early as 6pm.

I work full time and don’t get home until 6.30pm. We don’t eat until 7pm. So generally 9pm is bedtime. Plus it means that if we do go out at weekends our kids are used to going to bed a bit later.

Oh we’re judging adults’ bedtimes now too are we? Who says that’s no way to live?

I get some childfree time in the evening but they are awake for some of it is my point.

More generally, it's great that that routine worked for you but since you admitted that you prefer to have your kids up later I'd much sooner have a slightly later bedtime and her wake up at a sociable hour. I don't think you then get to be judgy about other parents wanting a different schedule.. they aren't doing it to avoid their kids any more than you're avoiding your kids at 6am

Everyone is just doing what suits them best.

You can get a lot done with your day if up at 6am. Horses for courses. I am in bed super early every night. It works for me. PJs on 6pm ish, asleep just after 9pm.

Yeah but they then whinge about the early wake ups don't they! Can't have it all ways.

I often go to bed at 9.30/10pm. When I'm in the office I do 8-4pm, and am up at 6am. I have plenty of afternoon/evening where I go to the gym, water my plants/do a bit of gardening, make dinner, do my writing course, do a yoga class, read a book or watch TV. Not sure what "life" I would be having after 10pm when it's dark anyway other than making myself tired for the next day. I'd prefer to be sleeping! I love going to bed, everything done, no more demands on me for the day.

As someone else mentioned, everyone is doing what is best for their own lifestyle.

but here you’re talking to people who aren’t whinging, but you’re still judging

I haven’t read the full thread but guidelines are that 6-12yr olds require 9-12 hours sleep. I am not obsessed with bedtime, but my kids thrive on routine and my eldest really needs her sleep otherwise her behaviour the next day is affected. She also loves to read so goes to bed at 7.30 on the understanding that she can read for an hour. It gives her down time and time to decompress. If we are out later at weekends or events, it’s not an issue (and we have been home late -midnight- on a school night). But generally, she needs her sleep, she does well at school and her behaviour and attitude are much nicer if she’s had a good full night’s sleep.

Guidelines available here: https://www.gosh.nhs.uk/conditions-and-treatments/procedures-and-treatments/sleep-hygiene-children/

As an aside we hosted a Ukrainian family for 9 months. The little girl went to bed when she wanted to. The mum would often complain that she couldn’t go to bed when she wanted to because the little girl stayed up til midnight and the little girl was exposed to tv and films which I wouldn’t expose my children to yet because the mum wanted to watch something more grown up. The mum would say that the child wasn’t scared by these, but the child also still won’t sleep in her own bedroom (nearly 9) and won’t stay away from home without mum. I found the children spend more time with adults but are expected to fit in with what adults were doing: for example, when mum had an evening meeting, the child was taken along and expected to sit quietly in the corner.

And there is nothing wrong with parents ensuring they get enough rest and respite. I am naturally an early riser but don’t cope with late nights (restless legs don’t help) so often don’t stay up much later than my children.

Me I love being up early. DH was away 2 weeks ago I ended up sleeping 8:30-4:30 , loved it.

I think most kids primary age sleep 10-11hrs - so it just depends whether they go to bed at 7 and get up at 6 or 9 and get up at 8. So mostly it'll depend on family schedules and natural body clocks. There is certainly an assumption in the UK that kids get up early - which I havent seen elsewhere i.e. kids dont usually wake up at 6am if their normal bedtime is 9. There is also a culture assumption of child focused v adult focused activities that might not exist elsewhere - i.e. kids usually eat with their parents and go out in the evenings elsewhere much more than in the UK. There isnt such an assumption of a child free evening in other parts of the world. But equally British parents are much more childfocused than elsewhere when kids are awake

My 21 month old now tells us when he wants his bath and walks himself to bed once we've put his pyjamas on. He's always fast asleep by 7.30pm. So it's not necessarily that the parents are "obsessed" or even leading the bedtime routine!

Been a while since mine were little but I do remember they would get up at 7am even if we put them to bed at 11pm at night. Bloody kids.

Not only do kids go to bed at different times. So do adults. 2 weeks ago I jumped into bed at 8pm. It was bliss.

My children go to bed when they do because they need to sleep. We are up at 6:30 in the morning. We are flexible, as there are a few evenings there are clubs, and in the summer we like to spend evenings at the beach. But if there is nothing on I like them to be in bed by 7:30 (they are free to read for a bit if they like) as too many late nights is a recipe for shitty, irrational moods from them.

Happy with a 6:30 wake up on weekends as a) we take turns to be up with them and b) it's handy for family days out - we like to get up and out.

Surely everyone does what's best for their own child and family life? Why do we have to pass judgement on those who do things differently?
We have early bed times kids and adults. We all seem to really need our sleep.
DD (10) goes to bed between 7-8pm, I have to wake her up every morning at 7 for school. So clearly she needs that level of sleep.
Holidays she will often stay up until 10-11pm and if she doesn't sleep in until 9-10am then she is grumpy as anything. I'd rather have a happy child than an overtired one.

My almost 4 year old is asleep by 7:30, and has to be woken up at 6:30 to get ready for nursery (where she upsettingly tells me she needs 5 more minutes, go away mummy)... so it feels like she needs more sleep.

@Bharath

"you would have to start getting ready for bed at 9.30pm, that’s no sort of life for an adult."

Eh? What difference does it make to anyone what time another adult goes to bed. Unless they are complaining about it/ about being tired. some people go to bed at 10pm, some midnight, some allsorts of different hours depending on their shifts, their preference. some people need more sleep. some people need less. I don't agree with the above statement that going to bed at a certain time equals no quality of life.

Mine wake up early whatever I do so they have to be in bed for 7

Award for stupidest and most self satisfied post 🏆

My 5 y/o needs 11 hours

So 8pm- 7am

They come home from school at 3 pm so that's a loooooooong afternoon/evening

7-9 hours of sleep is recommended. 9? Most people don't get 9 regularly.

"Adults should try to go to sleep between 10:00 and 11:00 p.m.1"

Underslept children are hideously apparent to their teachers at school the next day. It affects their concentration, their focus, their learning , and tired crabby kids often have social problems with other kids.

Ignore Brit parents who tell you the kids in Spain, Italy, hot countries, go to bed when adults do. Their school day started earlier, finished earlier, and they and their parents had a siesta/rest after lunch.

Oh yes. The later you eat, the more sophisticated and European you are

Not every child has to get up at 6 though. Mine can sleep until 8 if they want.