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Original poster

Are UK parents obsessed with getting their kids to bed early?

576 replies

RosieLeaLovesTea · 18/06/2023 22:07

Am I the only one that thinks UK parents are obsessed with getting their kids to bed early? I see posts of 7pm/7.30pm, some as early as 6pm.

I work full time and don’t get home until 6.30pm. We don’t eat until 7pm. So generally 9pm is bedtime. Plus it means that if we do go out at weekends our kids are used to going to bed a bit later.

OP posts:
laylababe5 · 21/06/2023 21:32

I think it totally depends on the child's sleep needs, the parent's evening routine, and how early they have to get up. My DD is 2 and has fairly low sleep needs. She needs to be awake at 7am and goes to bed around 8.30pm, with a 1 hour nap in the day. This works well for us as we finish work at 5.30pm and she eats dinner with us at about 6.30 - 7pm.

sociallydistained · 21/06/2023 21:33

If I didn't have to be up and out of the house then maybe it would make sense but we do and it works perfectly him going to bed at 7 and up at 7. But if my son goes to bed nearer 8 his quality of sleep is just rubbish compared. Nothing wrong with an early bedtime. I love it and my son gets 12 hours. As he gets older if it needs to be later it will be but currently that's how much sleep he needs and the only way he'll get it!

kkneat · 21/06/2023 21:37

When my children were young they slept 7/7.30pm pm till 7/7.30am. They needed to be up for school. At about 9 they went to bed at 8pm. Children need that much sleep, it wasn’t an obsession at all

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Kaiserchief · 21/06/2023 21:41

I can’t believe how much everyone’s children sleep?! I try and get mine to go to sleep by 10.30pm, up 6am.

My husband and I never get a minute alone together (unless you count sleeping I guess 😂) as we both work, unless we book a babysitter which we do for our birthdays.

CantFindMyMarbles · 21/06/2023 21:52

Sleep is so important. I wouldn’t be setting a bedtime of 9pm for a younger child. Around 11 is when my daughter had a 9pm bedtime.
Up until 8years her bedtime was 7:30. Then it went to 8:30. We get up at 6:30 so that’s around 9.5 hours of sleep which is essential for younger kids.

Delatron · 21/06/2023 21:55

Kaiserchief · 21/06/2023 21:41

I can’t believe how much everyone’s children sleep?! I try and get mine to go to sleep by 10.30pm, up 6am.

My husband and I never get a minute alone together (unless you count sleeping I guess 😂) as we both work, unless we book a babysitter which we do for our birthdays.

That’s less sleep than I get!

Depends on the age but most children need much more than that.

EmeraldFox · 21/06/2023 22:05

Delatron · 21/06/2023 21:55

That’s less sleep than I get!

Depends on the age but most children need much more than that.

Show quote history

It's certainly unusual. If the children are 6 to 13 the 9 to 12 hours would be typical but you are always going to have outliers, they are all different.

Fluff3 · 21/06/2023 22:07

Yes, when my kids were little, they didnt go to bed untill 9.30, thats because I didnt get home from till 8. They never used to wake up untill 7.30 the next morning.

Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 21/06/2023 22:16

@Delatron
your Spanish was probably joking as @MrsLully has said children don’t nap in school hours nor when they come home, unless it is summer holidays and it’s so hot outside it’s the only good thing to be doing. Not all Spaniards have siestas.

Kaiserchief · 21/06/2023 22:19

Delatron · 21/06/2023 21:55

That’s less sleep than I get!

Depends on the age but most children need much more than that.

Show quote history

It’s not nearly enough sleep for me! I had 4.5 hours last night. I’m permanently exhausted (and now off to bed because it sounds like they’re finally asleep).

SillyOldBucket · 21/06/2023 22:22

I put mine to bed at 7/7.30 when they were young. I liked to have some grown up time in the evening. Now they are older I find they have a really healthy sleep pattern and wake up in plenty of time for school. Some of their friends who didn't have a strict bedtime routine just can't get up in the morning and fall asleep at school.

Wantosleep39 · 21/06/2023 22:30

RosieLeaLovesTea · 18/06/2023 22:07

Am I the only one that thinks UK parents are obsessed with getting their kids to bed early? I see posts of 7pm/7.30pm, some as early as 6pm.

I work full time and don’t get home until 6.30pm. We don’t eat until 7pm. So generally 9pm is bedtime. Plus it means that if we do go out at weekends our kids are used to going to bed a bit later.

Yes they do and complain about them when they wake up 5am in the morning 😂😂

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 21/06/2023 23:05

I home Ed and we home Ed in afternoon and evening. He goes to bed at 1am and is woke between 11:30 and midday. Works for a house of night owls

celticprincess · 21/06/2023 23:06

No way could my DD10 and DD13 go to bed at 9 every night. My eldest especially needs her sleep. She thinks I’m mean making her go to bed at 8:30 (9 on a weekend) but when we have tried later it just doesn’t work. My youngest needs less sleep so could actually go to bed later than her sister but my eldest is autistic and couldn’t cope with the unfairness of going to bed before her sister. They go at the same time. Youngest is always up earlier than me and the eldest. She’s usually watching something on her tv/iPad when I go through to wake her at 7 for school on some mornings but on others when I need her up at 6:30 she’s still sometimes asleep. Twice a week I drop her at school for 7:30am. the eldest has to be woken up every morning for school several times before she actually rises from her bed. Weekends she’s often up before my 9am alarm for weekend activities but only just.

They do occasionally have a later night - once a week they have an activity that finishes at 8:30 so it’s in and straight to bed. At the weekend we were out at a party and for home at 11am. They were both up much later the next day but then it had a knock on effect for them getting to sleep that night.

when they were babies I did aim for 7pm. But often at the very young age they would be awake again at 10/11 until they dropped that later ‘nap’ and slept through. I never went as early as 6pm unless they’d missed a nap and literally conked out on me. One time my DD fell asleep on her high chair eating her tea!!

Even now, if we are all in on an evening they do tend to go up and chill out on their rooms from about 7pm onwards. Eldest sometimes has a shower (youngest is a morning shower person). Then at 8:30 it’s devices off and often they’re snoring by 9pm. I’ve even been up at 8:30 and found the eldest asleep already.

No way could mine eat at 7pm. They’re starving straight from school some nights and have a snack. When I’m not at work we tend to eat around 5pm but that’s due to the evening activities on a couple of nights starting either 6-8 or 7-8:30 (but dropping them off earlier as I have to be at another thing for 6:30 one night). On my work nights I tend to get home anytime between 5-5:30 so we have a really quick to make tea (pasta or eggs of some variety). Youngest has a light tea snack at wrap around at 3:30 and then I pick her up around 5-5:30 (it closes at 5:30). I’m a single parent though so I always eat at the earlier time with the kids. I’ve never been a late eater myself.

celticprincess · 21/06/2023 23:08

Fluff3 · 21/06/2023 22:07

Yes, when my kids were little, they didnt go to bed untill 9.30, thats because I didnt get home from till 8. They never used to wake up untill 7.30 the next morning.

I have to drop mine at wrap around by 7:30 to get to work on time through the traffic. It’s the earliest it opens. My mum used to look after them and I’d drop them at hers at 7am some days or they’d sleep over the night before so they didn’t have to get up as early.

ladyluck13 · 21/06/2023 23:41

My 18 month old is a natural night owl..I've tried since she was tiny to get a regular routine n pop her down for 7.30/8...but no dice. Her usual bedtime is 9.30/10pm til 8/8.30am. I put her in her cot before 9, she's just plays, no sleep..I've just accepted it now 😆

Alison1987uk · 21/06/2023 23:46

I don't think people in the UK are obsessed about early bed times...I've never heard anyone here be overly sensitive about bed time.
My kids are 6, 4 & 18m and generally go to bed around half 7/8 and I usually have to wake them at 7am on school days. If they don't need to be up early they can stay up a bit later but chances are they won't sleep much later in the morning anyway...maybe 8am.
They've all been generally good sleepers since babies and I follow their lead as much as possible

CelestiaNoctis · 22/06/2023 00:17

Yes. A mum I know puts both their kids 4 and 8 to bed at 7pm. They eat dinner at 5pm. That sounds mad to me. My kid is starting swimming which is at half 5 so by their logic they should be getting ready for bed by the time we get home and dry lol.

SouthLondonMum22 · 22/06/2023 00:26

CelestiaNoctis · 22/06/2023 00:17

Yes. A mum I know puts both their kids 4 and 8 to bed at 7pm. They eat dinner at 5pm. That sounds mad to me. My kid is starting swimming which is at half 5 so by their logic they should be getting ready for bed by the time we get home and dry lol.

If it works for them, what’s the problem?

laylababe5 · 22/06/2023 01:14

@celticprincess Mine eats dinner with us at 7pm but has her last snack in crèche at about 3.30pm and has another snack if she wants one when she gets home at 5.30pm from crèche. We eat dinner together as a family which is what works for us. Having to get her a dinner at 5.30pm and then dinner for us also at 7pm just wouldn't work, and she'd be starving come 8pm bedtime.

soberfabulous · 22/06/2023 06:11

CelestiaNoctis this is me. my DD (aged 9) has dinner around 5 and is up the stairs to bed at 630-7. Lights out at 730 latest.

We leave the house at 7 am (school drop off is 720 am) so in order to get enough sleep and be ready to wake at 6.15, DD needs this 'early' bedtime.

question for everyone whose kids go to bed at 9.....how do you cope with the lack of alone/adult time? I'm not looking forward to this.

I go to bed at 9 and read for an hour. 730-9 pm is 'my' time and when me and DH reconnect. if we are all going to bed at the same time there won't be any more of this and it's really important to me.

Kaiserchief · 22/06/2023 06:32

soberfabulous · 22/06/2023 06:11

CelestiaNoctis this is me. my DD (aged 9) has dinner around 5 and is up the stairs to bed at 630-7. Lights out at 730 latest.

We leave the house at 7 am (school drop off is 720 am) so in order to get enough sleep and be ready to wake at 6.15, DD needs this 'early' bedtime.

question for everyone whose kids go to bed at 9.....how do you cope with the lack of alone/adult time? I'm not looking forward to this.

I go to bed at 9 and read for an hour. 730-9 pm is 'my' time and when me and DH reconnect. if we are all going to bed at the same time there won't be any more of this and it's really important to me.

9pm still allows for plenty of alone time. Mine go to sleep 10/10.30pm so my husband and I get no time alone together. Our families would never look after the kids so I book a babysitter a couple of times a year so we can go out together.

soberfabulous · 22/06/2023 06:35

Kaiserchief my idea of alone time is more than reading in bed in the dark, i mean being upright and chatting and eating etc i guess.

only having a couple of nights a year to connect sounds tough. i couldn't do that.

we live overseas so no family but thankfully we have a nanny who can babysit - but i don't want to necessarily drag my aged carcass out to connect with DH, i just want to relax on the sofa and chat :)

Tinybrother · 22/06/2023 06:56

I imagine that, like children’s sleep requirements, adults’ “alone/adult time” requirements vary. There is only a problem if those requirements are in conflict, which isn’t the case for many families as shown by this thread.

carduelis · 22/06/2023 07:30

@soberfabulous , you say you’re not looking forward to not having any alone time but your DD is 9 already - by the time her bedtime is any later than 7, she’ll be more than capable enough of entertaining herself for long enough to allow you to sit on the sofa and chat, surely? My kids go to bed ridiculously late but my 9-year-old spends a lot of time doing her own thing.