Are UK parents obsessed with getting their kids to bed early?

[RosieLeaLovesTea]

Am I the only one that thinks UK parents are obsessed with getting their kids to bed early? I see posts of 7pm/7.30pm, some as early as 6pm.

I work full time and don’t get home until 6.30pm. We don’t eat until 7pm. So generally 9pm is bedtime. Plus it means that if we do go out at weekends our kids are used to going to bed a bit later.

Well, there’s sneering, xenophobic arseholes with superiority complexes all over the world I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

Another ‘why do people in the U.K.’ thread. Seen a number of those lately.

Ofcourseididthat
I know there's no mathematical formula, sorry if it sounded like that's what I meant.

Mine went through an early rising period. I've got friends who've got children who are naturally early risers too so they've planned their days to suit. They don't do the annoying "(head tilt) oh I would LOVE a lie in" chat to parents who are getting up at 6/7am though.

The point of irritation to me is that the people doing the 'oh I'm so exhausted, you're so lucky to have a lie in' chat act like 6/7am is a lie in and a luxury, rather than a fairly typical morning wake up window. They also seem to miss the point that people whose children have different sleep patterns are still doing parenting, just an hour or so later in a 24 window than they are.

Couldn’t think of anything worse than a 9pm bedtime. How do you have an evening? My 5 year old has always gone to bed and asleep by 7. She sleeps 12 hours. My 1 year old is impossible to keep awake so he’s usually asleep by 6.30 and sleeps a solid 12 hours. I have to be up for work at 5.45 so doesn’t matter if they wake earlier. Would definitely rather have 7-10/11pm of time in my own in the evenings without the kids awake

To be fair, I do wonder if you didn't work full time and had ALL DAY with your kids, whether you would feel the same. I work full time but a lot from home. I pick them up from school at 3, then they argue continually until 7pm when I start my 7 year olds bedtime. I'm knackered and grumpy by this time.. my 10 year old goes to bed at 8.30, she is awake at 7. She could do with an earlier bedtime as she is always tired. I think you do what ever works for you. I am obsessed with getting them to bed, as I often have to work more at night (social worker) and I don't feel like watching YouTube on repeat or clearing up slime at 9pm.

Well…. My now 9 year old would literally take herself off to bed at 6 pm on the dot if I didn’t do her bedtime!

we have dinner at 5 and when she was about 2 she would just need nbed at 6 and if I tried to push it back I would find her in bed fully clothed and she would sleep to 7 am. No at 9 she can go to bed as late as 11 and be up at 7!!!

she just needed loads of sleep where as her siblings all needed less

Really dislike posts like these. Just do what suits you, your children and circumstances, why the need to comment negatively on what other people choose to do?!

What do you mean have an evening? I had an evening reading a book or watching a film with DS playing lego or reading himself. He slept 10 hours at age 5, I wouldn't have wanted to be up at 5am.

Quite. When the kids were little, I was so exhausted by the end of the week that I was asleep by 8.30 pm on a Friday night and slept round the clock until Saturday morning (if I was allowed a lie in!)

As a part time insomniac having a good night's sleep is the best medicine in the world.

I would hardly say obsessed. If school starts at 8.50am and you have at least a 15 min walk to school then kids need to be up at 7.30 really so primary age children would need to be asleep by 7/7.30 otherwise they would be too tired to get up.
lots of working parents drop their kids at breakfast club or nursery at 7.30 so obviously their kids need to be up even earlier so need to go to bed early to get enough sleep. It’s not obsession it is doing the right thing for the children so the children get enough sleep. As the children get older the bedtime can be pushed back a bit but this is all really dependent on the individual child and how much sleep they need.
I really don’t think your post is kind or helpful, it sounds incredibly judgemental. If you want your kids to stay up later then fine, they are your children. You do you and let other people do what works for them without putting posts on mumsnet.

We aim for 8pm for our 3 year old. He doesn't get up too early in the morning fortunately. If he did we'd aim for a slightly later later bedtime but I don't get home until 6pm anyway.

100% agree. This post is just another way of judging other parents. Do what works for your family and let other parents do what is best for theirs.

Yes its true. I didn't know how they did it. I used to put mine to bed around 9-9.30. Because they weren't tired until then, even with a bath before bed.

13 pages of replies but only one initial post from the OP 🧐🧐 who cares what other folk do?

Completely agree. Always an undertone of smugness. Just do what works for your family and let others do what works for them. No need to judge them and no need for posts like this.

I can see exactly how this thread is going to go eventually. Along the lines of wanting child-free time means you are a bad parent and having your children stapled to you 24/7 is lovely. I know it is accepted wisdom nowadays that every aspect of parenting is fabulous and a minute away from your wonderful child is,a minute too long but does anyone REALLY think like that??

Isn't this just to do with the time of day you do other stuff - so if you rise late and nap in the afternoon? Children get tired after a certain length of time regardless of what time that is, it will just be informed by how the rest of your day has been structured.

My DD(4) has always gone to bed at 7, doesn't wake up at 5:30 and has never napped much. It all works out fine and we get some adult time in the evening 🤷‍♀️

Blessed with two kids who have always needed 11/12 hours kip. Bath/shower and wind down time started at 7pm in bed for 8 when little. Later now they are older. In summer, playtime in the garden and a shower under the hose 😁 again when younger. I am one of those who thinks it's important that the couple get to unwind together at the end of a long day. We love a routine in this house too so thats helped. It used to change on holiday or at the weekend. Both kids have always loved their sleep though so it has always been quite chilled.

I read in a newspaper recently (might have been the Week Junior the kids read) that in the UK, kids don't get ENOUGH sleep. Something like half of school children aren't getting the amount of sleep they need because of going to bed late, so I think perhaps kids should be going to bed EARLIER!

I also want a bit of child free time before I go to sleep. We don't have grandparents etc to look after or have the kids occasionally, so never get child free time. Perhaps in other countries other family members pitch in from time to time and so a child free evening is not that important.

Mine needed it! I remember noticing both times when they were babies of however many months, how they would get so overtired in the evening.

Mine are 7 and 4 and the aim is about 7:30pm and 6:30pm respectively but realistically it’s only that early if we notice they’re really shattered and make a conscious effort, due to life/activities.

My older child was put to bed around 7:40pm yesterday, came out of his room a few times so definitely wasn’t sleep before 8:15pm, and this morning when he woke at 7am he complained he was tired! We leave for school at 8 or 8:15am depending on breakfast clubs or not, he hates to be rushed (ADHD, DCD) so waking much later than 7am would be stressful for everyone!

I can’t pretend I don’t need the down time in the evening though! I can see it diminishing now that my older child goes around 7:30pm, so I’ll cling on to it for as long as I can.

Mine goes to bed between 6-7.30. She set her own bed time with her sleep signals. Works for me as I get an evening. Not sure why you care what other people do but, whatever floats your boat

The real question is, why does it bother you?
You do what fits in with your family.
School starts around 9.00 am, often earlier, 8.30 am, so children are expected to be up, had breakfast, and get to school on time. As long as they are not tired, then this should be all that matters.
Some parents have their children stay up later; some their children go to be earlier.
We DO have a 9.00 'watershed' point on live terrestial TV, so that programs not suitable for children are expected to be shown later. Not sure this matters, now we have all the live streaming channels, etc, but this gives an indication that presumably children (what age?) would be expected to be in bed.

This needs to be shouted from the rooftop. My kids (8&4) sleep 12 hrs a night. They need to be at school for 8.45, so bedtime is 7.30/8pm. I am also at work for 9am.
My neighbours have a very different pattern. Their toddler sleeps 9pm-9am but mom doesn’t work so that schedule suits them. I think you need to look at society as a whole, in the UK it’s very normal for working parents to start work before school starts- so having a later bedtime just isn’t conducive to happy kids!

I tried all sorts when mine were small - but whenever I pushed bedtime to- they were still up at 6:30 am and only the degree of tired and grotty child varied! These days it’s generally around 8pm but once they go up they tend to read for a while before they go to sleep.
im rigid about when iPads and phones go away for the night though

Yes in Europe, Middle East and Asia they go to bed similar time to adults....they do sometimes get a siesta type thing or chill out time in the afternoon as their school tends to be 7/8 til 2. Also less family friendly in the UK, kids in bed early for 'adult time' , doesn't exist elsewhere.