Nothing to leave my child when i die

[Rosieblue12]

Ive been a single mum to my son since he was 3 years old, we are survivors of domestic violence , and since then its just been me and my boy, he is now 19.
we have always lived in social housing and im grateful for the roof over our heads. We only got this house because we got put on the witness protection program for our safety years ago and got housed with their help, Ive never been in a position to get a mortgage, and save money, whenever ive tried to save something has always come up and ive needed to use the money, The house we are in is a housing association house and there is no 'right to by' option.
I worry so much because i have nothing to leave my son when i die,
If i were to die tomorrow he would be homeless, i can't sleep at night worrying about it. and in this country the cost of living is so high.
is anyone else in a similar situation ?

I think £100k is more thank some kids get especially if the parental home goes to pay care fees

He might want a family himself, or might be emotionally attached to the home he'd spent his entire life in.

However, it's good he was offered an alternative in the same community.

Plenty of people in private homes leave them to their children actually. Don't you remember the furious uproar whenever raising the inheritance tax so that doesn't happen, to equalise things a bit, is suggested?

It's not taking a home from the state: the home was built for that very purpose.

It's nice that you like living far away from your community, home area, family, etc., but many of us find it deeply distressing and it destroys communities.

oh OP please try not to worry . i will inherit nothing and my own home will probably just about fund my own care when the time comes . Not everyone gets inheritance in actual fact it'l become the norm .

Even people with a save doesn’t guarantee leaching anything. My friends mum lived in a nursing home for nearly 8 years & her house was sold to find it.

Easier said than done but please don’t worry about this. My mum won’t leave me anything & I care not even a teeny bit, I literally only thought of it reading this thread. I am an adult & I fend for myself.

You sound like an amazing & selfless mum & that’s all he needs, both now & when you’re gone! He’ll possibly well in his 50/60’s when you go!

Of course we should be allowed to live in the communities we grow up in!

That is a luxury many people just can't afford; they have to leave home to get the education or training required for work. They have to apply for jobs where the advertised vacancy is, far from where they grew up. Finally, they have to move to a place where rent , or house prices, are within their reach.

This doesn’t make any sense
You have housed him and raised him to adulthood
you and he both work. Can’t he make his way in the world like all the other 19 year olds?
and you have life insurance that he alone will benefit from if you die prematurely. He’s in a more secure position than many young people I think

100k is a lot of money, and could really help set someone up. That aside, you've given him something worth much more than monetary gain, you've given him love, security and probably taught him so many life skills.

For what it's worth, my mum died when I was 21. She had nothing. My parents divorced and she didn't buy a house again, she couldn't afford. I didn't receive a penny from losing her, and I have never given it a second thought.

What I was given were 21 years of unconditional love, 21 years of security and 21 years of being brought up by the kindest and most selfless person I've ever met. She gave me many skills in life and shared her values and kindness towards others, and I've done pretty well.

I understand and am sorry you’re feeling so anxious about this.

I come from a single parent family and grew up in housing association properties. My mum lived on benefits and we did without things most people (including myself now I’m a working adult) desire- holidays, days out, meals out etc.

My mum died recently of illness in her seventies and had nothing to leave me of any material value, she’d never saved and didn’t own her home etc. she did however leave me with the knowledge that she did the best she could by me and was an incredible person who despite many hardships endured- similar to the ones you have- was strong and resilient and fun. You’re leaving your son the memory of you as a person and you’re worth more than any house or savings account. Like other posters have said, your son will be ok without inheritance.

I just wanted to say I think you are brilliant. You survived so much, and did so much to give him a stable, loving home- thats such a gift. Live in the moment- you did great, dont worry.

Thank you everyone for your kind words, i do feel better now.
im an over thinker and suffer with bad anxiety and that is why im worrying.
i left home very young and was living in a bedsit with a low paid job that i could not even afford to feed myself on unless i skipped a bill that put me in debt,
i think that is another reason that im so anxious about this.
another HUGE reason for my worries is that my boy is an only child.
and to the not very nice person (there is always one) that told me that im being Rediculas, hmmn im not, im just being a mum that loves her son and wants him to be ok an no go through what i did.

No I don’t like living away from where I grew up, but unsurprisingly I couldnt afford the same area at 20 in 2006 that my parents could once they had established careers in the 1980s . Like I said- entitled attitude!

I mean this kindly, your son could easily be the age you are now when you die. His circumstances could well be very different.
By then he could have his own home and family.
Even if you died unexpectedly, he is still a working adult with a job. He will be ok.
There are no guarantees in life and I’m not expecting an inheritance. You’ve given him a stable home and a good relationship with his mum, despite you facing very hard circumstances. You should be so proud of this. Try not to worry about his future, he will make his way in the world just like millions like him.
Yes it would be nice to give him a helping hand, but it’s not essential at all.
In fact, just by being born in 21st century UK he has huge life advantages over millions of other young people across the world.
Try not to worry and enjoy life.

I work for a HA. If your son was still living with you when you died he would be offered a one bed flat.

Agree with this. Your son is lucky to have you, you've done a great job and sound like a wonderful mother. We all wish we could do our very best for our children, and you have with the cards you have been dealt. I don't think I could do what you have done, you are a very strong, brave person and I'm sure your son loves you very much and is so happy to have you as his mother.

Might have changed slightly, but when I worked for a credit card company 15 years ago, less than 50% had any money to leave their children. First, you have to pay taxes, social care, and any other money to the government, the utilities, etc, then any outstanding loans and credit. Any money left over goes to th9se mentioned in a will or next of kin if there is no will.

It is not normal to have mine to leave but an added extra. My house and I arm both from single mothers he has never had money to help out with stuff at all. He might get some inheritance.

My Mum got with her partner when I was 18 and on my way to university. He's a good man, and I always call him my Step-Dad. Because she was with him, my Mum had some savings and there was an old insurance policy from when she worked at Barclays Bank almost 40 years before she died so me and my sister got a little bit of money. But we weren't expecting it, and to be fair, our Mum died before retirement so we got it "early" with no money being spent on care homes etc.

Can you not encourage your son to upskill and get a reasonably paid job. I know the threshold for reasonable keeps going up. However UK is a land of opportunity if you are able to use the opportunities available. (Yes that's right I am thinking of all the successful immigrants and asylum seekers who sometimes come here with nothing) . That way you don't have to worry about his future

My parents have never owned a house due to the occupation of my dad (housing came included with his job) but my dad took out a life insurance policy which will cover the cost of his funeral plus leave some money for us (adult) kids. Not a huge sum but just something to put in savings.

I've never expected a house or a big inheritance and I'm not sure I'd know what to do with one if I got it! I'm just happy that I've had loving parents and a secure childhood. That's worth far more to me, especially when many others never had that.

Why do you feel the need to have something to leave? There are lots of people in the same position - and have been for decades. Their offspring have survived.

Don't stress over what you have no control over and bring your child up to be the best for themselves.

Great idea.

That way if you die before you can start claiming it, the pension should pay something out to him instead.

Im a self employed sold trader working from home, so no work pension im afraid.

Not too late to start one for yourself.

Even if someone has left a house to their children it may well be their children get less than the £100k you are leaving your son. I have many siblings - so even in the case where a house is inherited it then has been sold and after selling we'd have less than £100k each and if anyone was living at home they would have to find somewhere else to live. I think the life insurance policy means he isn't in a worse position than most. Yes there will be some who inherit small fortunes or only children who inherit a whole house but I don't think those are the norm.

Your life insurance is more than adequate. Even if you owned a house there could be less than 100k equity in it on your death and maintaining even a modest house these days is frightening. I’ve just been quoted 3.5k to paint 3 external walls of my house, it was 4k to re-lay the not very large drive 2 years ago.

You could well have saved yours and you son’s lives escaping DV, you’ve brought him up well, he’s had a life time of your love, you’ve done your job well. Put this worry aside and enjoy your life with your ds.