Nothing to leave my child when i die

[Rosieblue12]

Ive been a single mum to my son since he was 3 years old, we are survivors of domestic violence , and since then its just been me and my boy, he is now 19.
we have always lived in social housing and im grateful for the roof over our heads. We only got this house because we got put on the witness protection program for our safety years ago and got housed with their help, Ive never been in a position to get a mortgage, and save money, whenever ive tried to save something has always come up and ive needed to use the money, The house we are in is a housing association house and there is no 'right to by' option.
I worry so much because i have nothing to leave my son when i die,
If i were to die tomorrow he would be homeless, i can't sleep at night worrying about it. and in this country the cost of living is so high.
is anyone else in a similar situation ?

£100k is a huge windfall and an excellent contribution to whatever he wants to do with it.

I'm actually not convinced that enormous inheritances are beneficial to anyone anyway. There's a lot of self esteem in knowing that what you have you earned.

I hope I inherit nothing because my parents have enjoyed it all. They did their bit by bringing me up able to earn my own living
.

I don't think you need to worry about that.
If your raise him to be independent earn his own money then there is nothing to worry about. I'm 36 have two children 9&6

I encouraged my mam to sell her house and use her money on her. Which she is. I won't get any thing, but I don't care.

Yet I have a friend in her 50s who for past 10 years is waiting for her mum's inheritance gives me a sickly feeling.

Your raised him on your own from 3 that is amazing in its self don't worry about leaving money xxx

Well he's not going to be homeless with a job and 100K is he?

You're worrying about nothing.

Fully appreciate what you’ve been through OP and it sounds like you’ve done amazing but you’re being a tad ridiculous. You have a grown man of a son, unless he has health conditions he can earn a living and better himself, you have a decent life insurance policy- doesn’t sound too bad. And no I don’t think you should be able to pass on a social tenancy within families.

You've overcome so much! And your son is so blessed and fortunate to have you as a mother. Not all valuable things are material!

I'm in a similar position but 48 and my child is 10. I have no life insurance (not enough money to get one and I have a health condition that puts the cost up).

I think £100,000 is an enormous inheritance, easily enough for a good house deposit, professional training, or other good things your son might need. I'd be so happy if my child had even half of that. It really is a very large sum. And that's on top of everything he has from you that will remain forever: love goes a long, long way because it provides inner strength that riches can't buy.

Some housing associations have the right to succession if your adult child is living with you at the time if your death.

Otherwise, it's awful but council and other social housing organisations have removed the right to a home from children who grew up in them.

It breaks up communities and leaves adult children stuck living with their parents for decades otherwise. Of course we should be allowed to live in the communities we grow up in!

The absolute best thing you can do for your child is encourage ambition so he can stand on his own two feet.
Is he interested in further education, or gaining a trade?

The life insurance is only for the term specified which is usually either covering a mortgage, til they are 25 or whatever, it's not til death otherwise every life insurance claim would pay out! Mine is to 67 which is the old age pension age.

OP, he will make his way, you have and he will too.

A young man I know lived all his life in social housing with his mother until she died.

He had to leave the house, but they rehoused him in the same community. Why would anyone want a single man to have sole occupancy of a family home?

What do you think people in privately owned homes do? I didn’t have a right to continue living where my family home was, I had to move further out. This entitlement is staggering. A healthy grown single man taking a home from the state because his mother owned it isn’t right.

An excellent idea. If nothing else it will cover the cost of your funeral so he does not have that burden to shoulder.

100k is way more than my home owning parents will leave me - low housing cost area, sibling to half any money with, and the cost of two funerals to come out of that.

But I'm a grown up with a job and an income and the ability to make a life for myself. I'd much rather my folks enjoy their money, or if needs be splurge it on the most comfortable care home or two one way trips to Dignitas.

You don't actually owe your son an inheritance, and stressing about this will ruin your remaining few decades.

How do you know it's a family home? It could be a two bed flat in a high rise. Not that that isn't a "family home", but it's hardly the 3bed semi with a drive

Get life insurance

All tho the housing won't put him on the tenancy now if he still lives at home when you die the tenancy should go to him, it does with our housing association its can to be passed once, so then it couldn't be passed to say his children in years.

Of course he shouldn't get the HA home, where would women who have to flee DV like yourself go if all the houses just get passed down. It was to get you out the situation you were in which is amazing that you did it. Your son will be fine

Write a book about, your life, his place in it and how much he means to you. If you can't do a book, then fill a scrapbook. Fill it with all your thoughts about life, him as your child and all that means to you. Fill it with detail; childhood accidents, dark times, Christmases, funny moments, holidays, tranquil times, those occasions you were proud of him and tell him why. Tell him about those times you struggled, but were determined to never fail him. Tell him why. Go deep into those moments and do not hold anything back. Write from your heart.

Scan it, back it up. Digitalise it. And give him the original work. When you are ready.

I guarantee that he will feel a shield of protection around him and a place from which he can continue to move forward in this world. You will give him a sense of place, fortitude and resolve.

Forget the material things. Trust me. Do this and everything will come right.

Well, the idea is that there should be affordable, secure housing for everyone, not just the wealthy few or the most deprived.

Your son only needs you and your love which he has, that is far more important than any monetary thing

Do you work @Rosieblue12 ? If so are you paying into a pension? If so again make sure your son is named on there too as a beneficiary

My parents were lovely, gave me a bit at uni, but nothing else, DH gives his mum money every month.

you gave your son the gift of not living in a domestic violence situation.

i worry that £100.000 will not go far in this world as its not enough to by a home where we live.

As he's living at home now, he should be saving money from his earnings.

After you die, he can move to any cheaper part of the UK; an unskilled job is very portable.

Neither of us inherited anything; and we moved (multiple times) to where we could get jobs and affordable housing. For people like us getting on the housing ladder always did require hard work, sacrifices, and saving up.

When I was 19 I'd already left home, had no parental support and was living in a shared room with a stranger We spoke different languages and didn't get on but there was no choice so we put up with each other. Your son is in a very favoured position and needs to step up and start planning his own future.

You sound lovely.

My parents had nothing to leave me, not even wedding rings or anything.
But I do know they loved me and were proud of me and would want me to be happy

Could you work on a family tree or photo album or mini autobiography?
I have a box of photos I inherited and have no idea who lots of people are,
I really need to throw some away or I'm leaving a mess for my own children

You've got life insurance. How long is the term for? If you die during that time it will pay out 100K so he'd be ok.
I would suggest getting a funeral plan, maybe with co-op, because the cost of a funeral can be a massive blow when someone dies. If there's money in the estate it can be taken out of that but if not, it will need to be paid. Might be worth looking into.