Menopause and older women in the workplace

[BansheeofInisherin]

I know this belongs in the Menopause section, but it's not very busy, so I am putting it here.

I am 51, going through a difficult menopause with bastard fibroids and all the rest of it. Just started HRT; too early to see any effect. Have a hysterectomy scheduled later this year after Mirena did not suit me. Lots of anxiety, little sleep, terrible flooding every month which soaks through my pads.

Anyway, workwise, I am not at my best. But I feel reluctant to talk about this in the workplace as older women problems seem taboo in a way. I work in a very young environment because I switched careers after being an SAHM.

There's lots of talk about mental health, social anxiety, maternity issues, LGBT issues, transpeople issues, POC issues ( I am one myself) but hardly a whisper about menopause and the accomodations needed.

How I feel is like getting old is the last taboo. I feel like there is a sort of veiled contempt of older women- boomer!- which would not be tolerated about any other community. Some especially liberal young people start by falling over themselves to treat me well because of my Asian name, then when they meet me, I detect a sort of vague sentiment of " Oh well, she's only a boomer and well past it."

Am I imagining all this?

Tbh, it sounds a bit of a weird workplace.

Does everyone literally sit round all day talking about their hormones and anxiety?

I'm 58 and the oldest in my team. I don't talk about my hormones because they're nothing to do with my job. I had a baby a long time ago and didn't sit going on about that all day either.

I do think the Davina-isation of the menopause has done more harm than good though. Nobody dare speak to us in case we crumble into menopausal wrecks. We spent fucking decades proving that just because we were women we could actually be considered seriously in the workplace only for this shit to come back and hit us now.

No, they don't sit around all day talking about it, but there's definitely accomodation for it. Especially post the pandemic.

I am not seeing anyone not daring to speak to me in case I crumble. Not listened to Davina on this subject either. I just went to my GP and got what medical help I could.

Not really answering the question but at 51, you're not a boomer. You're Gen X.

I know that. But Gen Z does not know the difference. We are all boomers to them.

I know of a few big companies are trying to do more. A couple of my friends employers have had menopause awareness type sessions and all managers have been given training on the issue, the symptoms and how they can affect output, needing time off etc

To be honest, even as a woman, I didn’t think too much about menopause until peri menopause symptoms started. Even though I knew about them, having them is different and I’m shocked at how awful I’ve felt. A friend of mine is really struggling with brain fog so much that she’s considering stopping working. Her work have been really good but she feels dreadful.

I do understand the frustration if there’s little awareness of it your workplace but lots about other stuff. Could you suggest some awareness sessions? Would you want that?

It’s good that you have been to the GP and seemed help.

Sorry, not much help and just rambling. 😅

I would speak out and be vocal. They sound woke so they will have to accommodate it. Older age will come to them all eventually!

*seeked help

Do you have an HR dept? Maybe ask them about menopause policies.
Ignore people who say get on with it, hormones can be a bitch for sone people, and others fly through such things without issue

Wondering if I should. Will it make me a target? What do other people do?

I don't have any brainfog at all, but do have the other stuff.

Here's a link to an event and you can download a copy of the document and give it to them and ask them what policies they have regarding menopause
Menstrual and menopausal health in the workplace | BSI (bsigroup.com)

Have a chat with HR about some sort of menopause training. We had a few sessions with a woman called Miss Menopause, an absoloutley brilliant speaker running her own menopause training for organisations. She did women only sessions, then did a wider session for any male or female employees. She has a very active Facebook group and I'd say would be well worth your organisation speaking to.

suppose I'm lucky because, there is a real mix of ages at my work and I've found if I talked to someone age related if they have gone are going through menopause they open up pretty quick! so there are lots of women at work now, who come in and will mention 'OMG these bloody night sweats/flushes...whatever' to me and we get to have a chat and support each other. there is always men and women of all ages walking by or in earshot. But it seem normal to be able to talk about it. The same as if you had a load of women pregnant at the same time, they'd be discussing scans/trimesters/movements and so on.

I think this "Menopause awareness" just "others" us further. It should be a private matter between you and HR.

Just hang in there if you can until the HRT kicks in.

I recently left a corporate environment where there were all sorts of menopause seminars and policies and things, but I would never have let anyone know about my own peri symptoms or struggles. No one there would have been able to help! The only thing that helped was the HRT.

Firstly, sorry you have been suffering through this.

Most of the other groups/topics/issues you mention your workplace talking about have grown legs because someone will have spoken out in the first place. You can absolutely be that person for menopause. It is equally as deserving as the other topics.

Start by talking to HR and say you’d be interested in helping them develop a policy or guidance document. Ask if you could arrange a speaker event. Share some resources with the office to build awareness. Yes it ‘outs’ you, but if you work in an inclusive this will not be a problem. Put yourself out there, good luck!

I am extremely on the fence about this tbh, but thanks for the resources. I am hoping HRT works for me, and the hysterectomy too.

I do the best I can to help myself by exercising, not drinking and all that too.

As one if the most senior women at work (snd50) I have made it a point to mention we should be aware of the issues with women in our workplace, discussed it with hr and all the c level and dropped it into general hats with other ladies where appropriate.

I am not in anyway suffering myself but feel it should be on people's radars. All the c level have wife's of same age anyway so good they think about it too!

I’m 54 and peri. Thankfully my symptoms are few and my working life is very accommodating and, I think, very helpful in that I’m not in a stressful environment and it’s very active. However, ten years ago I was lecturing and an older colleague really struggled going through the menopause. She had terrible hot flushes and brain fog. The role was constantly changing, it was a Bloomin nightmare for everyone, it seemed like every week we had a new procedure or process we had to follow - it was so challenging. And she visibly crumbled. She couldn’t remember which change we were up to at any one time. And I think that yes, females have had a struggle to show that we’re every bit as good as men in the workplace but we’re not doing this on a level playing field. There is little recognition of the hormonal changes that can affect us within the workplace and until we do have that recognition- we’re still not equal.

I don't crumble exactly. But today I cried a fair bit for the Notts victims. It's not something I used to do before, because where do you stop? Luckily I didn't do that at work.

Hehe - very true OP

Where I work we're all 'ladies of a certain age' and we can bang on ad infinitum about our menopause hell

Someone is always having 'a hottie' as they say,

Totally agree. The Davina effect has caused so much damage. Now there is never-ending chat about the menopause and the assumption that all older women are useless.... not so!

That sounds very difficult.

My work introduced a woman's network with lots of talk on women's things like smear tests, breast cancer and menopause. I cringed at first, who wants to admit they're on their period or young through the menopause? But weirdly younger women (I'm 47) embraced it, I know some who come into work and if you ask how they are will say ' I came on today so feeling a bit shit but I've brought chocolate so will be ok'. Admittedly they didn't say this to men but they're all within hearing distance.

Anyway, that's not where you work. What do you need from your work? Is it more flexible working sometimes? A bloody good desk fan and acess to a shower room? Avoiding certain types of work or situations?
Or do you want your colleagues to understand what you're going through? To sympathise? To show concern?

Figure out what you need and speak to HR to see whether it can be accommodated. Menopause is like a temporary disability and you're entitled to reasonable adjustments.