never felt closer to death than now

[orangelotus]

i do not have a hideous diagnosis yet but i am very aware that it is only a short amount of time away.
in any case i'm in the downward trajectory. end of life before end of life officially
what have you done to manage it

Bumping this for you. Hopefully you get some helpful advice. 💐

Do you mean you're extremely old or unwell but undiagnosed?

Have you read the book called with the end in mind OP? Written by a hospice nurse about managing end of life. Could be worth looking it up online to see if you think reading it would help.

Is this an inherited disorder that hasn't manifested itself yet, but will?

I'm sorry, whether it is it not, that you're in a dark place right now. Is there a helpline you can call?

Are these thoughts distressing or comforting?