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Original poster

No idea what to do with my life

74 replies

dineofluty · 14/06/2023 07:07

I am 21 years old and have no idea what I want to do with my life. I left sixth form three years ago and since then have worked full time in retail. I live with my boyfriend in a not so great area, I don’t really have any hobbies and I just feel a bit lost.

I got straight 9s at GCSE and A*AA in my A levels in maths, chemistry & biology. I enjoyed high school lessons (I think possibly because the wide range of subjects kept me from being bored, and I liked the structured routine of it) but I really struggled in sixth form - my overall attendance was about 70%. I don’t feel as if I’m good at anything that’s important. I’m very shy and socially awkward and don’t have much confidence. I’m good with money/budgeting (have managed to save £16,000 from working for £11 an hour) but that’s about it.

I feel so far behind my peers who are all graduating this year. I was always “top of the class” and now I spend 40 hours a week stacking shelves. My best friends from school are now qualified nurses, engineers, or have degrees in accounting, chemistry etc. A couple of other friends are half way through medical school and will be doctors soon, and some are at Oxford and Cambridge. I feel like a huge disappointment and like I need to sort myself out but I just don’t know which path to take. I think one of the main problems is that I have so many interests and I’m struggling to commit to just one thing.

I’ve considered joining the police force or working as a nurse (largely because of job security, being able to help people, and having a decent enough work-life balance to pursue other interests). I like the idea of working e.g. three long (though difficult) shifts per week as a nurse and having 4 days off to do other things. I would consider applying for medicine but I wouldn’t get in as I have no work experience. I’ve also considered doing an engineering, maths and statistics, or accounting degree because I enjoy working with numbers and figures.

I would pretty much like a job that will eventually pay at least £35,000+ per year, has an okay work-life balance and isn’t entirely boring. If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it. Thank you in advance.

OP posts:
Yerroblemom1923 · 14/06/2023 07:09

Why didn't you go to university after your A levels?

ninja · 14/06/2023 07:12

Could you try and get an accounting (or similar) apprenticeship? That way you're not getting the debt of university but are building up skills for a career?

amidsummernightsdream · 14/06/2023 07:13

Forget the job security for a second and things you feel like you should be doing.
What interests you?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General education
Original poster
dineofluty · 14/06/2023 07:13

Yerroblemom1923 · 14/06/2023 07:09

Why didn't you go to university after your A levels?

My parents are high earners and I was only entitled to the very bare minimum loan (£4,500 per year) so initially took the 2 years out to save money. And also I couldn’t decide on a subject and didn’t want to commit to something I wasn’t entirely sure about.

OP posts:
ninja · 14/06/2023 07:14

@Yerroblemom1923 the world was a different place 3 years ago and after struggling at sixth form with a pandemic happening I can imagine university didn't seem appealing

Original poster
dineofluty · 14/06/2023 07:15

ninja · 14/06/2023 07:12

Could you try and get an accounting (or similar) apprenticeship? That way you're not getting the debt of university but are building up skills for a career?

I’ve had a look on gov.uk apprenticeships and I look on Indeed most days but haven’t seen many apprenticeships on there. Will definitely keep looking. I did apply to BAE one year for an engineering apprenticeship but was rejected after the interview stage.

OP posts:
Littlefidget2 · 14/06/2023 07:15

You sound like you have so much potential, and you're still so very young! Don't waste it. Have you got anybody- any mentor, any trusted older adult you can talk to? My advice would be to commit to something/ anything, to get ahead in life. It's a shame medicine isn't an option, but if you enjoy accounting/ numbers, then look at degrees or apprenticeships and aim for that. You sound like you are very determined once you have a goal- pick that goal and go for it!
Good luck!

ninja · 14/06/2023 07:16

@dineofluty the expectation would be that your parents would support you and top up the loan, were they not prepared to do this?

You have to consider whether you'd enjoy being at university now as a mature student, it would be a different experience - although I think you'd get a full loan now.

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 14/06/2023 07:17

If I was you I’d take some of that £16k and have an adventure. Was having the same conversation with my friend last night, neither of us have any idea what to do with our lives…. And we’re 33. She’s just got back from a ski season then trip around Japan.

They say you have 3 careers in your life, so remember nothing is set in stone anyway. So just do what you fancy. If you don’t know what you fancy, say yes to things and you’ll find that one thing leads to another. Every experience leads you somewhere else and gives you tools for the next experience.

What did you enjoy doing as a young kid? That often gives pointers to a job you would be satisfied by. What kind of life do you want - desk job 9-5 and leave work at work? Working outdoors? Love exercise and no time for it after work - work in exercise field? Art?

Honestly it sounds like some naff high school careers advice but I have found it to be true! I may not have a career (yet) but have done some really, REALLY cool things in my life 😁😉

ToBeOrNotToBee · 14/06/2023 07:17

Have you considered the armed forces?

Not for everyone, but they really do have some amazing career options.

Original poster
dineofluty · 14/06/2023 07:17

amidsummernightsdream · 14/06/2023 07:13

Forget the job security for a second and things you feel like you should be doing.
What interests you?

I’m interested in loads of things - science, maths, music, books, languages, crime etc. I’m just not entirely sure what career to pursue with any of these. I know an accountant, an engineer and a nurse and all three professions seem appealing for different reasons.

OP posts:
VioletCharlotte · 14/06/2023 07:18

I remember having that feeling of being left behind. Now I'm older, I know that life is not a race! You're very young, you don't need to have everything worked out right now. My son is the same age as you and in a similar positon. He's been working in a temp admin job for the last three years, but that ends in August so he needs to decided what to do next (his GCSES are nowhere near as good as yours!)

You're doing amazingly well to have saved so much so you should feel proud of that. If you're interested in nursing, think about maybe working as a healthcare assistant. That will give you a feel for what it's like to work in a hospital environment and if you decided you would like to do a nursing degree, you'll get support to do this. I work for the NHS and we really need more nurses! It's not an easy job, but can be very rewarding and you can go on to earn a decent salary as you progress through your career. Have a look at the social media pages for your local trust as they often have careers days.

Original poster
dineofluty · 14/06/2023 07:22

Littlefidget2 · 14/06/2023 07:15

You sound like you have so much potential, and you're still so very young! Don't waste it. Have you got anybody- any mentor, any trusted older adult you can talk to? My advice would be to commit to something/ anything, to get ahead in life. It's a shame medicine isn't an option, but if you enjoy accounting/ numbers, then look at degrees or apprenticeships and aim for that. You sound like you are very determined once you have a goal- pick that goal and go for it!
Good luck!

Thank you, I appreciate it. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this, I have limited contact with family and due to being shy I don’t have many social connections either. Thank you again for the advice :)

OP posts:
Original poster
dineofluty · 14/06/2023 07:25

ninja · 14/06/2023 07:16

@dineofluty the expectation would be that your parents would support you and top up the loan, were they not prepared to do this?

You have to consider whether you'd enjoy being at university now as a mature student, it would be a different experience - although I think you'd get a full loan now.

No, I don’t speak to my dad and my mum was very much “if you want to go to uni you have to fund it yourself”. It did upset me at the time as all of my friends went, but looking back I wasn’t in the right head space to go at 18 I don’t think.

I think I would enjoy uni if I went now. I don’t drink or go on nights out at all so I would focus on the studying and getting involved in societies, trying to find internships etc. And yes as of October I will be eligible for “independent student” status which will mean I’m entitled to the maximum loan and bursaries :)

OP posts:
goldenlocks · 14/06/2023 07:26

Accounting!

UniPsychle · 14/06/2023 07:26

What about pharmacy OP? It sounds like that might combine some of your strengths and interests. It would give you the option of shift work in a hospital if you wanted it but also a job with more regular hours at a different time in your life. Or optometry? You sound like a details person who would take a lot of care, and both those professions really need that. And whilst both offer you the opportunity to be in a caring profession, they shouldn't be overwhelming for a shy person either.

Pansypotter123 · 14/06/2023 07:27

Do you live with your parents?

Original poster
dineofluty · 14/06/2023 07:27

ToBeOrNotToBee · 14/06/2023 07:17

Have you considered the armed forces?

Not for everyone, but they really do have some amazing career options.

I actually did consider joining the army when I was younger, however now I have a long-term boyfriend who I am planning to (hopefully!) buy a house with in the next few years so I don’t think it would work for me.

OP posts:
Littlefidget2 · 14/06/2023 07:28

I second pharmacy as an option. It seems to attract quiet people with a great eye for detail, and lots of opportunities after graduation.

honeyandfizz · 14/06/2023 07:29

Awww op I have two children one is just finishing her first year at Uni and a DS who is just finishing a levels. He has no idea what he wants to do either and rather than rush into Uni he is taking a year out to decide. You've done so well to save that money and you're not work shy either so be proud of that. I am a nurse, what appeals to you about it? Can I offer you any advice around nursing as a career?

kistanbul · 14/06/2023 07:29

You don’t need to work out the best option for you. You just need to take the next step.

It sounds like you’re trying to work out exactly what you want, but you’ll probably want a very different life in five years and you can’t predict that. Relax.

Chose one of -

  1. Go to the best university your grades will manage
  2. Train as an English teacher (TEFL) and go to live abroad for a few years
  3. Find a big employer with a wide range of jobs on offer and get an entry level job and keep going for promotion.

but mainly stop trying to think of the perfect decision

Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

Coffeeandcards · 14/06/2023 07:32

I’m thinking apprenticeship - engineering/pharmaceutial/accountancy… you sound really intelligent and capable.

DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy · 14/06/2023 07:35

The civil service do great apprenticeships in a variety of fields. Def something worth checking out. Good earning potential too.

Original poster
dineofluty · 14/06/2023 07:36

@MyFaceIsAnAONB I’ve had quite a few adventures the past couple of years, spent quite a few thousand probably! Holidays abroad, multiple concerts, weekend trips around the UK. I’m very careful with money so am able to do these things and save at the same time (and working 6 days a week helps haha). As a young kid I enjoyed maths, sports, reading. I’ve always enjoyed learning random statistics so something numbers-based seems like a good place to start maybe. Thanks for the advice!

@VioletCharlotte There are actually a few HCA jobs going at my local hospital, might be a good idea. It would be nice to get out of retail for a while. Thank you :)

@UniPsychle Those both actually sound like good options, I will look into those further. Chemistry is a great interest of mine so pharmacy sounds pretty cool.

@Pansypotter123 No I don’t. Don’t want to go into too much detail but I don’t have a great relationship with my parents, especially my dad, and haven’t lived with them for a couple of years.

OP posts:
MyBrownEyedHandsomeBoy · 14/06/2023 07:42

@dineofluty why don't you enquire with your current company (possibly reach out to HR) to see if they currently partake in apprenticeship degree schemes? That way you'll learn whilst you earn and the degree won't cost you a penny as the company pay through a levy. It would also strengthen your skills and capabilities on the job and it may transpire into progressing you to management or area management etc.. hundreds of companies have affiliations with universities it might just be you're not aware. Or failing that, you could always suggest it to your company as an opportunity of staff development etc.
Either way you're still young and you sound grounded so I wouldn't worry, you'll figure it out :-) x

I'm in my 30's and finishing off a business management apprenticeship degree in few months. It's covered many areas such as accounting, marketing, psychology etc