Comments on my 7 year old being "young" for his age?

[Plimos]

My just turned 7 YO has notably different interests to those of the majority of his peers. I feel like he doesn't have many friends because of this.

He spends most of his free time reading, drawing, doing lego and playing imaginary games. He has a Nintendo Switch which he likes but will do 30 minutes on it max before he gets bored. Whereas the other boys in his class seem to want to do nothing but play Minecraft, Roblox etc. I have had comments from other parents that my DS is very young for his age because he "still" plays with toys. At 7 surely he's fine to be playing with toys?!?! He has also been teased by the other children because he still watches some cbeebies programmes like Hey Duggee, Maddie, Bluey. He also likes some CBBC stuff and other things.

Academically he's fine, ahead in most areas. And I feel that he is emotionally mature. He seems perfectly happy. But people are making me feel that his interests are too "young" and that's why he gets left out of things at school. Any experiences?

What parents think it’s acceptable and normal to comment on another child’s behaviours. How odd.

I don’t think I would have a clue what my sons friends/kids in his class play with or do in their spare time…and nor am I all that interested.

My son is year 1 (6.5) and he has a speech delay, nearly on track though. He’s more into playing but does love his iPad and games. If pals are around he isn’t interested in screen time and plays football or imaginary play with his mate. Zombie tag, all that stuff. He likes colouring on and off, but loves jigsaws.

Weirdly he has got back into Peppa Pig (it’s painful. Hates it first time round!). I have said maybe don’t mention to his mates because kids are mean and I don’t want them laughing at him and him dealing with that. However I suspect many flip back and fire between these shows from chatting to some of the mums. Personally couldn’t care, it’s a harmless show and does him no harm (I would get back from college and watch ‘Hey Arthur’ when I was 17, so I can’t really judge him haha).

He still likes to play shops with my mum too. We now just make it more age appropriate by using money to pay for his pretend food etc so he’s learning about that.

As long as he is happy forget others. I was literally having a convo on whether a switch was age appropriate for a Christmas gift for him this morning as kids are starting to talk about Minecraft at school.

He has never played on a switch and we’ve decided we will leave it as long as we can until he’s aware and asks for one. I work in Cyber security and IT so I don’t have an issue with screens, in fact I am pro them….but at the right time. 7 year olds need all the stuff your son does for their development.

Seriously don’t worry.

He sounds like a happy, typical 7 year old. Our son was the same and has been described in the same way - by parents we felt were forcing their own children to grow up too quickly. Eg, 12/15 video games, films etc. usually because they had older siblings and it was more convenient for the parents.

Ours is now a delightful young adult. Ignore them. Keep doing what you’re doing.

Please don’t listen to the people who are suggesting your child shouldn’t be playing with toys at 7!! That’s so sad. Take a look at The Imagination Tree on Instagram to see someone who is advocating play for children right up into their early teens as being so beneficial for them developmentally. Art and other non screen-based play is so good for your child’s mental health and general development. Don’t discourage it!

Perhaps you could describe your DS as being a timeless classic as opposed to young for his age.

The parents sound stupid. Fifty years ago (when I was a child) there was no Nintendo, Roblox or Minecraft. What on earth do they think children played with back then? We played with toys.

Muppets.

OP can I ask about the socioeconomic background of the people commenting on his interests?

All advice re screens now is to keep to an absolute minimum, he is very young, as I understand it the limit for his age is something like half an hour a day and preferably not every day. I’m surprised that other parents are not expressing admiration for his varied interests.

There is nothing wrong him, he is still a young child at 7yo.

Too many kids are plugged into x-boxes for hours and they are growing up to be lazy and selfish, they don't want to work and they can't function as part of a couple or family (I have seen it happen with friends kids). It can also cause a lot of aggression in some kids.

Too many parents want their kids to grow up too quickly and don't actually treat them as kids for long enough which is very sad.

Just ignore the comments, or find some smart comeback.

As a 25 year old I wish my parents hadn’t pushed me into games rather than toys when I was little. He’s only small for such a tiny amount of time in the grand scheme of things, let him enjoy it!
I collect soft toys now and my partner builds lego. Forcing him to grow up too fast will scar him, letting him follow his true interest absolutely won’t.

Being a little innocent is not a crime.
He is 7, why would you want him to be anything other than the child he is.

With such varied interests, he will probably cope well with the transition to a teen.

Certainly less likely to be finding his kicks vaping and drinking because his sole interest was technology.

Sports, music, scouts, are a wonderful framework to build healthy teens.

These activities create a busy involved teen whose week is full of healthy activities.

Far less likely to be caught up in harmful activities through boredom.

When your weekends are full of matches, scheduled activities, you are far less likely to abuse your body with vaping and alcohol IMO.

I wondered that. V posh schools are an absolute arms race for no screens/ no pop music/ early bedtimes and v healthy eating.

OP. I was the exact same. I even vividly remember my mum saying it was weird that I wanted to read all the time.

I am a perfectly normal, successful adult with a partner and friends. I still love reading, being alone and art/crafts.

Not all of us are screen addicts. Sounds like you have a healthy, well regulated and bright young man.

@Leean Sorry but your husband sounds awful. What sort of man tells his son he’s babyish?

It's her ex husband by the sound of it. And well rid!

It's common in human nature to put others down to make themselves feel better. They are probably battling some guilt over the amount of screen time their kids have and how little they can engage with them now so trying to act like it's the norm makes them feel better about it. Your son sounds fantastic keep encouraging him to never become a boring sheep just following the herd and do what he loves. In Europe children don't even start formal education til 6/7 years and they are in fully play based learning until then. We make our children grow up far too soon in this country packing them off to school from 4 and suspect this pressure to grow up too soon and not encouraging them to play for as long possible as kids should is a big part of children's mental health crisis today. Carry on supporting him just as you are and try to ignore the noise of others. It is clear those children teasing your son have learnt their unkind behaviour from their parents xxxx

My DD although older is similar. A lot of the kids in her primary class had older siblings and were into Roblox, access to phones etc when they quite young. She would sometimes get teased, particularly by the boys, about liking things seen as 'young'. She has tended to carry on doing what she likes, but not necessarily telling everyone at school. Now she's in secondary the other girls are into boys and make up but she's not interested. She has found other girls who are similar though.

Your DS sounds lovely OP. My little girl has just turned 7 and she is definitely young for her age compared to other 7 year olds. I take it as a compliment as she is the best person I've ever known =)

He sounds much more creative than his current peers which might explain his limited interest in his Nintendo games as its very much a 'led' activity whereas he seems to be more interested in creating the play himself/using his own imagination.

Sounds exactly like my 7 year old

Oh dear god OP you're not letting him mix with poor people are you? What on earth would you expect? All those thick as shit unimaginative little dullards playing Mariokart.

The irony of those sneering on this thread about screen time whilst telling the OP not to listen to those apparently sneering at her DS. Horrible attitude.

This sounds like my DC and they are 9. Still watches Peppa Pig etc, I have learnt not to care or give a sh*t. They’re an incredibly nice person and a joy to be around. Let them grow in their own time.

Our area is very middle class and so is the school. Parents want their DC to do well academically, but they still seem to think my DS is weird for being a bookworm and playing with toys.

Exactly! Seems like judgementalism is fine so long as it's directed towards the oiks and not towards the kind of superior beings being raised by some posters. Glad I'm not the only one finding this thread madly hypocritical but also very revealing in what it says about how people ACTUALLY think. There have been some vile comments about the OPs child's peers who are also innocent seven year olds!

He sounds lovely and perfectly normal.

Not sure if these ‘sneery’ comments are related to my question to the op re background.

I was asking about background because I went to a very mixed background school and was given a hard time about my interests which were judged to be above my station basically because I wasn’t allowed watch much tv etc., different era obviously. I did have friends who were in the same boat but we were a minority. It’s not something I think about now but this thread brings back memories of a kind of tension I felt in school between what was considered ‘normal’ and how I was as a child.

Regarding screen time, I thought it was generally accepted that too much screen time is damaging for kids and we don’t understand the extent of it yet. Surprised that this is the subject of heated debate tbh. Are we all supposed to say oh yes screens are fine so that nobody feels bad?