Comments on my 7 year old being "young" for his age?

[Plimos]

My just turned 7 YO has notably different interests to those of the majority of his peers. I feel like he doesn't have many friends because of this.

He spends most of his free time reading, drawing, doing lego and playing imaginary games. He has a Nintendo Switch which he likes but will do 30 minutes on it max before he gets bored. Whereas the other boys in his class seem to want to do nothing but play Minecraft, Roblox etc. I have had comments from other parents that my DS is very young for his age because he "still" plays with toys. At 7 surely he's fine to be playing with toys?!?! He has also been teased by the other children because he still watches some cbeebies programmes like Hey Duggee, Maddie, Bluey. He also likes some CBBC stuff and other things.

Academically he's fine, ahead in most areas. And I feel that he is emotionally mature. He seems perfectly happy. But people are making me feel that his interests are too "young" and that's why he gets left out of things at school. Any experiences?

It's a sad reflection of our society that a 7 year old can't pursue creative interests watch the TV programmes they enjoy and not be addicted to a smartphone without people talking about immaturity.

When my dd was in Year 3 some of the children had smartphones. It's absolutely ridiculous, I'm not sure what kind of parents give their children phones at such a young age.

Ignore them. Let your child develop at his own pace, just offer opportunities and encouragement but they all develop at difference rates. Somehow they all make it to adulthood.

I'd be far more concerned that my child was spending too much time with boys raised by sexist idiots who are too stupid to grasp that children are not all the same.

Wow this is wild. I think your son sounds great and like how a 7 year old should be?!

I also don’t think playing screens more = more mature. One of my step kids is screen obsessed and honestly lacking in social skills it is something we have all realised needs attention. Yes he socialises with his peers over the Xbox, but they socialise more that way than face to face. (When they are face to face they are in the same room but on separate consoles?!!!) And for example can’t even look up at us to say hi etc. Even when he is made to stop playing to pay attention to a conversation his eyes and hands are gravitating towards controller etc. Not mature at all!
also my favourite artist is my friends 10 year old son and I can’t see him stopping anytime soon! (Both parents are artists and have creative jobs).

Your son sounds great. Very creative too, which is lacking in many kids these days. It is refreshing to read that someone gets bored of playing Switch after 30 mins - which is how it should be. I feel that you should enjoy this time because your son is under so much pressure to change that he probably will do so just to fit in with others. And that would be a shame.

If anything, your DS is showing greater maturity by reading, using his imagination and not being interested by gaming. My two were pretty similar at the same age, but each had a sport as well - might be worth adding that? Incidentally, of their peers who were interested in doing art, the only ones who grew up to be actual artists were boys.

I’m a recently retired teacher of children your son’s age. They all absolutely loved the time when they could chose from a variety of toys to play with together. They loved playing with the play farm, building sets, art materials, small cars, dinosaurs, etc. It saddens me to know that toys are considered “too young” for age 7 by some parents. At that age, I only had toys, friends and imaginary play to entertain me and I have wonderful memories of that time in my life.

Your son sounds completely normal, and also delightful. Kids grow up too fast these days. Far better to have a range of interests than be sitting playing computer games all the time. Your son sounds well-rounded, able to mix with many people, and happy. The other parents sound like terrible parents tbh - plonking their kids in front of screens rather than taking them to interesting things like you do for DS. You sound like a great parent.

Also the thing about the art club is totally ridiculous. Of course boys can do art! I hate that gender stereotyping crap.

I’m 57 and young for my age. I figure I’ve got the rest of my life to grow up, why start now? Being grown-up is over-rated imo! Let your DS enjoy being young.

Maybe now is a good time to look into it? We have found home education loads of fun, not least because the kids can do what they want and it's easier for them to make connections with others over shared interests without the intense peer pressure which can happen at school. My teen genuinely IS "young for her age" - she has a learning disability - but has never been teased for that and has no trouble finding others to play with, of her own age or younger.

The girl/boy segregation isn't an issue either; my eldest only encountered it when trying school at 10. There some of the others insisted that only boys played football at breaktime while girls hung around in groups chatting, and that everyone must declare a "best friend" who was of exactly their own age and gender. The other girls weren't ready to accept that mine had no single best friend but instead three close friends who were all of different ages and who all happened to be boys!

Among the home ed kids we know, your son's interests would be very normal. (There are also home educated seven year olds whose parents worry because they love their screens so much, so that isn't ALL down to peer pressure.) The freedom to enjoy genuine connections with others over their actual interests, rather than their pretended interests, is even more important during their teens.

If you think you and your son might enjoy home education, you could go along to a local group and meet up with other people who are doing it. It might feel less scary if you see it in action. We were only going to do it in the short term, but I was reassured by seeing other families whose older children were continuing to thrive out of school.

I hope my boys still feel able to enjoy imaginative play and creativity at 7! Their big cousin certainly did. He’s maybe an atypical boy in some ways but I don’t think there is anything wrong with that at all - he is wonderful and he has nice friends. I hope your son continues to be himself and finds more of his people as he goes along.

Sounds very much like my 8 year old! It would never cross my mind that reading and drawing were 'younger' kids activities - I think it's quite mature for a child to choose to sit and read or draw. When my son goes to bed he does all of those things, and he has a lego table next to his bed which gets used pretty much every day (there is definitely no age limit on lego either - I know adults who love it). He also plays imaginary games with his sister - shops, parties, pets etc.

My son also still watches a lot of cartoons aimed at younger children. His most recent favourite has been Puppy Dog Pals, although I'm pretty sure he does not admit that to his friends at school!

How sad that children feel forced to stop doing things that should be fun so young :(

The other parents are being incredibly rude. 7 is so little still. He is not going to work in a factory, he does not need to grow up too quickly, he is a little kid who is allowed to be a little kid.

I have worked year 2 and 3 in schools and we had all kinds of toys out during free play which they all loved. Farm yards, car sets, lego etc. On the playground they played imaginary games about all kinds and certainly loved .

Good for him not wanting to spend all day in front of a screen.

Just to add if you are genuinely considering home education for him have an ask on Facebook local pages or search for your local home ed groups.
We did it for a while as no school place and our local groups did all kinds of activities and meetups. Art, gardening, martial arts, science, trampolining, museums, lego club and so much more.

Those other parents sound ignorant and thick.

He sounds like a lovely boy.

Playing with toys at 7?
Completely normal and definitely preferable.

So many parents buying technology and abandoning their children to it.

No wonder there is such a mental health crisis out there in young children and teens.

My children were happily playing lego, crafting up to 12 and they have all gone on to be very happy children.

Tennis is a great game to consider for him if her prefers non contact sports.

His art ability is great to indulge.

What about a musical instrument?
If he is creative it would be great to start them, piano for instance, you could buy a good keyboard to start.

He sounds great and if you continue to expose him to plenty of activities outside of school, he will find his tribe.

My DS was similar (and is still quite young for his age at just turned 12), some of it is being an only child as they learn to occupy themselves more by themselves, rather than having a sibling to bounce off. Some of it is whether they're into football too I think (whether boys or girls) as the majority in my sons class were and he so wasn't, has glasses, doesn't like football at all and so he stood out a bit more because of that. But your son is 7! 7 is young, 7 should be young so I wouldn't worry.

I still play with toys and I'm 54

I'm going to write this here to assure you.
My son was your son 4 years ago.
Only child, attends outside school drama club and beavers and art clubs. Loves reading, lego, drawing, makes up plays all day long and describes and dressed up as characters and tells stories.

He is now 11 and STILL does all the exact same things. He genuinely couldn't care less what the other kids think of him at school but over those 4 years this attitude seems to have gained him many friends. He's not actually bothered about seeing mater after school but he is always being invited to others houses and when they come here they all wanna use his art and dressing up stuff!!

The Tate isn't filled with only women artists and the films are filled with leading male actors. It's very very normal to not wanna play roblocks all day. He's never played it. Did once for about a minute and said this is boring and turned it off

He does play his ps4 lego marvel games as he loves making characters up etc.

Most of his pocket money and presents go on Lego and pop vinyl collection.

As he gets older he'll find his tribe. My son has just discovered a lad in his class he never spoke to much also loves marvel so they're bonding over that now

His school doesn't sound great as at my sons they all still play a lot and lots of boys at the art and drama clubs. He would also home school if I let him but he actualy loves the interaction more than he realises and seems very happy at school mostly.

Don't worry though. Kids playing is normal and good and he'll find his people soon enough xx

I think your little boy sounds lovely and I would ignore whoever is making these comments, they sound jealous actually. The boys, and men, in our family read, draw, paint, build lego, (well into their 30's to 50's). They are all well adjusted, intelligent, educated happy people who have varied interests, just like your son. One grandad got a Bluey T Shirt for his birthday as he likes to sit and watch it with the children. I would ignore the ignorant comments of these people and encourage him in his varied interests.

I think your son sounds great - could it he envy from the other parents? I bet this is better for his development than looking at a screen.
Also I’m old and I love Bluey and Hey Duggee - they’re genuinely great TV (with some very sophisticated jokes).

ignore the meddling, rude other parents!

Reading - I thought that was for all ages, child and adult!
Lego- all ages!
Imaginary games- lots of children do this!
30 minutes max on a game console, well isn't that the best thing for him, not being stuck glued to a screen for hours.
OP he seems a normal child to me, I'd be thankful that's he not bothered about video games like most children are. It seems these parents are a tad jealous imo.

Sounds very much like other children who are introverted thinkers in our wider family. Almost all went off to have PhDs as adults and yes the love of Lego, art and all continues, Bluey is the popular go to as a wind down for those who trained as doctors and went into medical research. At school all were caring, compassionate, needing solitude yet quietly driven to explore, think and learn. As kids they did not fit in with the rat pack mentality because they had been born capable of thinking outside of the box others wanted to squeeze them into. Once they left school they were the ones with the life skills to truly flourish and achieve their dreams.

Reading, drawing and even building with Lego are pastimes enjoyed by adults, so so how does that make your seven year old "young" for his age?

I would just tell these rude parents that you are glad your child has so many varied interests and isn't a a screen addict as so many children are, as that must must be quite worrying.

Your son sounds great. You mentioned not moving his school- what’s the long term plan for secondary? It might be worth investigating others including private, he might find more of his tribe in a different school.

OP your boy sounds wonderful as do all the other similar children described here. But childhood and teenage years are long, people are complicated and can change and not every child like that is going to be some sort of PhD wielding change-the-world creative just as not every child who spends lots of time on screens is going to end up some sort of shallow drooling layabout. There is a strong whiff of smugness off of some posts. And as I said, my child was EXACTLY like that before I am accused of jealousy. Now at 16, not so much, he's still pretty great, but just an ordinary lad.

he sounds perfect. Just like my son who is now 12 and only very very recently stopped playing with his toys. He also loves art, singing. He does play sports though and has plenty of friends. School should be encouraging them all to play together. Just re-reading your message - the other boys don't sound "older", they just sound horrible, well the parents actually. Good job we are all different.

Sorry typo- @Plimos you mentioned not loving his school. Different schools have different ethos, you might find a smaller gentler school is a better fit. Or a larger one- for eg: ds is like your son and found his tribe in a massive secondary where there was space for everyone- geeks, jocks and nerds.