Comments on my 7 year old being "young" for his age?

[Plimos]

My just turned 7 YO has notably different interests to those of the majority of his peers. I feel like he doesn't have many friends because of this.

He spends most of his free time reading, drawing, doing lego and playing imaginary games. He has a Nintendo Switch which he likes but will do 30 minutes on it max before he gets bored. Whereas the other boys in his class seem to want to do nothing but play Minecraft, Roblox etc. I have had comments from other parents that my DS is very young for his age because he "still" plays with toys. At 7 surely he's fine to be playing with toys?!?! He has also been teased by the other children because he still watches some cbeebies programmes like Hey Duggee, Maddie, Bluey. He also likes some CBBC stuff and other things.

Academically he's fine, ahead in most areas. And I feel that he is emotionally mature. He seems perfectly happy. But people are making me feel that his interests are too "young" and that's why he gets left out of things at school. Any experiences?

Oh my God that is adorable!

But he’s still young, 7 is nothing. How frustrating for you and creating these worries.

at the end of the day he is happy, it is difficult regarding friends but he’ll find his tribe, you don’t want him to be friend with kids who take the mick out of his interests anyway.

Sounds exactly like my 7 year old and I have never thought this unusual or had any comments! Is he bothered by the comments, particularly about the art club?

Are you asking these parents why their sons don’t want to play with him?

Lego is hardly for tiny kids is it?

Why do these parents think that gaming 24/7 is some kind of milestone? Utterly batshit - surely screen time should be limited?

I think it’s absolutely tragic if parents now think that computer games are age appropriate playing for seven year olds rather than playing with toys or imaginary game or playing in nature or other genuinely age appropriate activities.

No wonder our children and young people have such dreadful mental health.

Your child is awesome and creative, different interests doesnt make him young for his age. Please dont feel discouraged by the ignorant comments from those around you

He sounds like a perfeclty lovely, well-developed 7YO. The parent's comments are likely coming from jealousy because their own kids are screen zombies. Please be very clear to them (especially if your LO is in earshot) that you think it's perfectly normal for a young child to play and watch age-appropriate TV and that you're delighted that he doesn't just play computer games all day as you'd consider this very unhealthy for a 12YO never mind 7YOs ... and then decline to engage with any further conversation about your son with people who are clueless about child development to the unfortunate detriment of their own kids.

We don't have to denigrate other children to elevate the OP's child. These are 7 year olds we are talking about! If we are to be critical, it is possibly of the parents. But even at that, I think some of the posters on this thread are taking an almost gleeful delight in imagining the shit future lives of the screen junkies which is a bit off. For what it's worth, my son was exactly like the OP's child right up until 9 or 10, he is now just a very ordinary 16 year old, occasionally getting into trouble, glued to his phone and not exactly a star at school. Not a whole pile of difference between him and his peers who you describe so disparagingly. And certainly nothing for me to be smug about!

No I haven't, I just get comments about him being on the fringes of the group because he's young for his age - their words.

Your 7 year old sounds like he has the right kind of interests for his age ( mine are young teens and both boys were in to the same things at this age and many years after - both still read as well as game .. the art didn’t really tail off till about 11/12 ) . If his contemporaries are all just gaming then you might want to look at a change of school to a bigger school so he has more chance to find his people .

Yes I agree with this, it will just be jealousy.

Whether it's kids or adults, people who criticise only ever do so because of their own insecurities, so it's really rubbish but you just need to ignore it.

OP, your son sounds lovely and completely normal for his age.

Remember it's not all that long ago that computer games, ipads etc didn't even exist. They didn't exist when my children were 7. What they did when they were 7 was play with toys, play imaginary games, read, draw, and run around in circles a lot. This is normal for seven year olds.

I imagine that it makes the parents of young children who are plugged into consoles feel better about it if they can be rude about the child who isn't.

You need to start calling them out more. Start saying “why is art only for girls”, “why is it an issue he’s playing with Lego some adults still do” “why is it an issue he is using his imagination”

Up until say 12 years ago when everyone and their dog decided viewing the world via a screen was the norm, then almost every seven year old in the country was playing with toys, reading, drawing. For some reason it is now apparently a good thing for small children to have an physical and emotional addiction to screens ( because that is what it is, try giving up your phone for a day!) .

Your lad sounds grounded and healthy, shame there aren’t more like him. We need creative people who have imaginative inner lives because they are the ones who will see solutions to problems in the future.

My 7 year old is similar to yours. She still watches Bluey which is aimed at kids younger but that's OK. She has younger siblings. She plays with dolls and puts on a lot of performances for us to watch. She does play some computer games but I don't allow it in the week only at weekends. She is a healthy, happy child who in my view at least has age appropriate interests.

Your child is perfect in his own way. I'd work on his self esteem and yours so you can bat such questions away. His interests are very much appropriate for a child his age.

I really think any comments like you mention are jealousy.

Your son sounds as if he is very thoughtful, maybe a little bit introspective, which is a good thing and will stand him in good stead in the future.

He seems to be his own person (which is also good) and has a lot of potential.

I would suggest you watch the Twilight Zone episode "Examination Day". The best part of it, in my mind, is the horrified look the parents give each other when the father suggests the little boy watch TV and he says "no, I'd rather read a book..."

I think he's sounds just fine for his age! My DB and I would play with Lego all the way through our childhood (and sometimes in our teens too - Lego is cool). I think it's fab that your DS is doing art club. Loads of the guys I knew from school were fab artists (and have since made art their career). If that's his dream, then I think it's wonderful. I can't draw for shit!!

It has never before in my life occurred to me that art is for girls. Wtaf are we doing to our kids?

They sound like a bunch of bitches! Who is so rude as to comment on other people's children being immature for their age - at 7!

He sounds great and of course Art is for everyone. They are just being ignorant in that as in other ways.

So yes he is young, because he is still a child… not a problem in my opinion.
Remember that a lot of the kids today actually jumping through stages and they don’t really get to enjoy being a child anymore.
And your son is behaving age appropriate for a child that has a well developed mind (read, plays and thinks) with interests for art. Please also remember that there are artist, engineers, lawyers, economists and politicians… not everyone is going to be the same.

Children on the fringes of the alpha brigade often turn out to the be the most well rounded and successful later on.

The parents sound cliquey and insecure to me. It may be a case of "wrong school" for your son. Can you change it. Transition to juniors is an ideal time.

DS loved CBeebies at 6/7 but had an excuse for his chums (his little sister). He got round playing flute instead of trumpet, liking poetry by being sporty.

I don’t think he sounds young, he sounds like he just has different interests. I’ve never understood why some parents are so desperate to make their dc grow up.

When my youngest dtds were in Year 2 at primary then deputy head was presenting to the year group parents and I’ll never forget her saying she was hearing increasingly from parents even in reception that their dc were really ready for school and didn’t play with toys anymore. She was very clear - they should play with toys throughout Primary and play is one way to learn skills. Mine are almost 12 and still play.

Be glad your child has those interests, how lucky he is not glued to a screen.
He likes to be stimulated by being creative.
He is being himself.
"What others say", laugh in the next person's face, how small minded.
Good on him for doing art.
You must be proud of his willingness to try and be involved.

Do the rest of them play football?