Comments on my 7 year old being "young" for his age?

[Plimos]

My just turned 7 YO has notably different interests to those of the majority of his peers. I feel like he doesn't have many friends because of this.

He spends most of his free time reading, drawing, doing lego and playing imaginary games. He has a Nintendo Switch which he likes but will do 30 minutes on it max before he gets bored. Whereas the other boys in his class seem to want to do nothing but play Minecraft, Roblox etc. I have had comments from other parents that my DS is very young for his age because he "still" plays with toys. At 7 surely he's fine to be playing with toys?!?! He has also been teased by the other children because he still watches some cbeebies programmes like Hey Duggee, Maddie, Bluey. He also likes some CBBC stuff and other things.

Academically he's fine, ahead in most areas. And I feel that he is emotionally mature. He seems perfectly happy. But people are making me feel that his interests are too "young" and that's why he gets left out of things at school. Any experiences?

My DS will be 7 in 4 months and he is exactly the same, as are his friends. I'm genuinely perplexed by these comments.

My 9yo watches Bluey, it wasn't even a thing when they were younger! All of those pastimes sound absolutely fine for a 7yo, I have one.

I've always taught my kids/reinforced that they don't have to do what everyone else does, they all have loads of friends and are quite happy. Please don't worry!

Your son sounds perfect. "They" sound like pr**ks. Dont listen to them. Tell them to keep theirstupidity to themselves. My boys are seven and still love watching Peter Rabbit cartoons on CBeebies - so do I - so lovely - I never tire of it. Anyone of any age can do Lego. My friends boys are 14 and 15 and they request the expensive sets for Xmas.

BTW My daughter has just turned ten and her two closest classmates and her cousin of the same age got phones at Xmas. OMG they have completely changed - they spend their time face glued to the phone, playing games or posing for selfies - even at parties. My daughter complains that are just boring now and thankfully its put her off looking for a phone for now. Its sad how technology has taken over kids lives. I'm also a teacher and there was a 16 year old in my class who constantly was using his phone. Recently I asked him to put it away and out of curiosity I asked him to check his usage for the previous day - It was over 12 hours!

How sad for parents of 7-year-olds to suggest that imaginative play and playing with toys is somehow 'too young' for kids that age! Far better for children to play with toys at least part of the time (the more the better), rather than spending every waking moment glued to a screen. Screens are fine in their place, but I'd bristle at the insinuation that it's in any way odd for a child of any age to prefer other ways of playing. There's plenty of time for screen obsession when they're older.

@Plimos Your son is a summer born 7 year old so one of the youngest in his year.

I have this same thing with my summer born DC and suggested maybe they want to watch CBBC instead now when they do watch TV. Nope, not for them. They still like drawing, making up games, telling stories, playing with their kitchen, etc.

Every year I've worried but I've worked out that if we give it a year longer than everyone else, they'll be on the same level.

Also, Roblox isn't great for a 7 year old. I checked it and was floored at the behaviour on there. Our local police have guidance for Roblox and Minecraft due to the potential for online grooming. They strongly suggest over 10 with supervision for Minecraft (even though there are settings which can be turned off), Roblox needs to get in the bin though.

Also, I remember babysitting and taking a 6 year old and his 9 year old brother to the park. The eldest never got off of his playstation but the amount of joy he had swinging on a swing and climbing was so lovely. He enjoyed pure childhood fun.

No one's kids are ever too old to enjoy the fun of childhood. Heck, I'm a grown adult who gets excited playing with my childhood doll's house, colouring and trampolines!

its so sad that even at 7 kids are judged as weird or young for their age for playing with toys 🤯 tech has taken over! I think it’s brilliant that he’s so happy to go off and read or play. Are there any Lego clubs or anything locally that he could try, to meet like minded peers?

The problem isn't your son. The problem is the parental demographic at your son's school.

I would also consider a school move for him. You say he's happy enough at school, but he might thrive in a school where there are children who share his interests (and parents who keep their noses out of what doesn't concern them rather than saying tactless things in front of him).

It's so sad to hear those comments by other parents but it is more to do with their insecurities and need to conform than anything else. Be proud your sons self esteem is such that he is in tune with what he likes not what he thinks he 'should' like and keep bolstering that, it will serve him well. Can he do some stuff outside school with like minded boys so he feels some solidarity?
Meanwhile perhaps come up with some stock standard comebacks....
...not sure da Vincii, Picasso, Monet etc etc would agree that art is for girls!!
...We're so happy he knows what he likes and does it...
...actually apparently it shows his maturity as he doesn't need to follow the crowd...

Sorry he/you are dealing with assholes!

There’s nothing wrong with your son! It’s normal! Let him live happily and develop HIS interests NOT theirs! I have five children and they’ve all had different characters.

Your son sounds lovely and perfectly normal! I’m a teacher and it makes me so sad to hear about all these young children growing up so fast and feeling like toys are too ‘babyish’ etc Regarding the picking on about art club - maybe you could tell the teacher what’s happening and ask if they could do an assembly or class talk about how things like art, football etc are for everyone and nobody should be saying that’s for girls or that’s for boys etc. Teach your son to say strongly ‘no art is for everyone’. I’ve had trouble before with boys in my class not wanting the pink crayons before or pink plate etc and we’ve talked about how ‘colours are for everybody!’ And makes me so happy when I hear them go ‘I’m going to pick pink because colours are for everybody!’

I like to read

I like to "play" with my toys (e.g. embroidery)

I enjoy "imaginary" games (DnD, magic).

and I sometimes like to watch what is considered silly television...

I'm also a reasonably well adjusted adult in a happy relationship and a good (but fucking stressful) job.

and if my interests were to make me "young for my age"... well, so what??

and people who said this are rude (and narrow minded). Sounds like he's a well adjusted and bright kid. There's nothing wrong with having somewhat different interests!

Don’t let them taint who he is, my worry would be he gets embarrassed by his interests and tries to fit in with the crowd. Find a different crowd.

As a primary school teacher, I think your son sounds great and completely age appropriate in his interests. I would think of a quick retort for any parents (likely jealous your son isn’t attached to a
screen) makes about being young e.g. ‘Ah, That’s not kind. I think it’s lovely he is happy and follows his interests which are age appropriate.’

In terms of the unkind comments from children regarding art club, again I would think of a non confrontational retort for your son to say to the other children e.g. ‘Lots of men do art for an actual job and make lots of money. Art is for everyone.’ And I think you should speak to the teacher to nip this in the bud incase it spirals. Ask him/ her to do a ‘circle time’ on being kind to the whole class and ask her to speak to repeat offenders individually.

In terms of friendships, if your son is happy then let him be. If you think it might be nice for him to have a couple of buddies and he would like this too, then arrange some play dates to see if you can spark a friendship.

He sounds exactly like my 7 year old DD. She is very uninterested in computer games and plays great imaginative games. I just count myself very lucky she's not glued to a screen.

I have this argument with my sons dad constantly. At home he likes to watch tv but he never bothers with his tablet, yet there it’s all he seems to do. He’s not really sporty & loves to draw & colour in. Also he still likes Paw patrol & he’s 6.5. I don’t see the harm in it, prefer it but he tells him it’s babyish.

He sounds very like my DD who loves to read, do art, play in her room, when her friends come round they will often engage in imaginary play like schools. One of her best friend is a boy same age, he doesn't read independently as much but would also play all day with Lego and other toys do art, baking, play imaginary games. I agree the parents at your child's school are weird and would be more judgey of their parenting if they think it's normal for a child that age to spend all their time on a screen. I'm not screen averse, my DD has a switch but there are strict limits which are very different to her older teenage DSS because she's 7!!

Unfortunately bullying is a learnt behaviour, more than likely learnt from the same parents who are saying things to you.

Just tell him every day of how proud you are of him, and enjoy how ‘young he acts’ for as long as possible, because they soon grow up (unfortunately).

The things he is doing are a lot healthier for him physically and mentally, than sitting in front of a screen all day. Tell him to ignore other children, and maybe talk to the school so they can talk to the other children about bullying.

Completely ignore and walk away from anyone who has anything negative to say about your son, don’t give them a second thought

It's great that he enjoys those things! They are not too young and many adults like Lego. I think it's not so much that he is 'young' for his age but that the other children are all addicted to screens.

He may be seeking comfort in the TV programmes because he is being teased. It is brilliant he is into art and some of the other parents are probably jealous if their own kids are glued to screens.

Some of the games they are playing are aimed at older kids. @PuttingDownRoots says it well about a misconception that kids are mature. There are some local kids at my DC's school who are heavily into gaming at a young age. On the surface they seem well behaved as they sit quietly after school doing on their devices, but if they have to do anything else their concentration is not there.

Is your DS interested in any after school sports clubs as an addition, particularly football?

He sounds great! You have obviously brought him up to have an active mind and a wide range of interests. The fact that he's doing well academically- ahead of his peers- says it all for me.

He sounds exactly like my DS at age 7. Loved lego and reading (still does!!) and he didn’t have a computer game yet (although that was my rule - he did tell me he felt left out at the time, but I thought he was too young).

My DS is a few years older now and he still sounds like yours, with the exception that he is into Minecraft now, but still only plays for a little bit before he’s over it and is only allowed on the weekend anyway. But he plays endlessly with toys like Lego. Will still sometimes play with his sibling when they’re playing with much younger small world play toys. He also still loves things like marble runs and construction toys.

He’s very lucky. We recently moved and his new school is full of kids like this.

But no one teased him at his old school - even if he didn’t find many friends who were the same and he struggled to find his “group”.

We do live in a very diverse big city though, where anything goes.

I would recommend putting your DS on the waiting list for your preferred school even if it is over subscribed or full, there’s usually some movement over the summer.

He sounds great and with many more interests than the other lads. It is tricky if he feels or is being made to feel different. I hate this pressure to conform and don't think playing computer games is a sign of growing up at all. Hopefully he can find words to deal with it if the kids say things and own his interests.

If he’s considered different by some peers, that is not always a bad thing.
He’a not a sheep, who does what everyone else does, he has his own mind and clear about what makes him happy. Some adults spend their lives trying to achieve this.

Go him! 💪