Comments on my 7 year old being "young" for his age?

[Plimos]

My just turned 7 YO has notably different interests to those of the majority of his peers. I feel like he doesn't have many friends because of this.

He spends most of his free time reading, drawing, doing lego and playing imaginary games. He has a Nintendo Switch which he likes but will do 30 minutes on it max before he gets bored. Whereas the other boys in his class seem to want to do nothing but play Minecraft, Roblox etc. I have had comments from other parents that my DS is very young for his age because he "still" plays with toys. At 7 surely he's fine to be playing with toys?!?! He has also been teased by the other children because he still watches some cbeebies programmes like Hey Duggee, Maddie, Bluey. He also likes some CBBC stuff and other things.

Academically he's fine, ahead in most areas. And I feel that he is emotionally mature. He seems perfectly happy. But people are making me feel that his interests are too "young" and that's why he gets left out of things at school. Any experiences?

You could try deliberately misunderstanding it as a compliment. I think most parents with any aspirations for their kids would love to be raising a bookworm.
If he can self-regulate screen use he’s very mature.
There are a couple of parents in my daughter’s class who are encouraging their kids to grow up faster. My impression is that they think parenting will be easier if they do.

I can still remember a friend's mum telling me I was too old for dolls, aged 7. This was in 1983. I was even outraged at this as a kid and found it ridiculous! What should have I been into by then, boys and smoking cigarettes?

I remember getting Sindys and My Little Ponies as gifts when I was 9 and still enjoying imaginative play. And I did very well academically at school.

Sylvanian Families and Brambly Hedge stuff started to appear when I was about 10 and I remember feeling a little too old for it by then and wishing it had been around when I was a bit younger. I still like these as an adult though 🙂

I also watched Playschool until I was about 8 or so. Loved it.

How awful for you and your son. Your son has perfectly normal age appropriate hobbies. He's happy and performing well at schoool. You say he hasn't many friends, presumably he has some friends? Maybe enrol him in scouts or a sport to widen his contact with like minded kids?

I have an 8yo girl who still plays with dolls and loves taking her babies for a walk in their pram . Like your son, she has a switch but prefers her dolls, coloring and reading. We live in an EU country and kids seem younger than UK kids of the same age, if that makes sense. She's performing well at school, has a few friends from school and in our neighbourhood. I have no concerns about her and she's developing into a kind, thoughtful little girl.

That's an awful comment for anyone to make! Your DS is doing really well to self regulate with the switch and sounds like a completely normal 7 year old.

My DD is the same age and has no interest in computer games, we offered to buy a switch and she said no, have an Xbox and wii and she just isn't bothered. Occasionally we'll have a family game of Mario Kart and she'll play a race or two before she gets bored.

She loves Lego and bluey (I also love bluey and the 3yo does too- brilliant family show!), draws a lot and will play outside all day, I have a 3yo too and DD will happily play lovely imagination and role play games with them. I think it's much better than being sat playing Minecraft or Roblox for hours pestering for money, and thats certainly not a sign of maturity. There's maybe 2 girls in her class who still play with dolls, but they also have iPhones and it's really jarring for an elderly millennial like me where dolls and iPhones are very different life phases.

DD also has some specific interests that dc in her class and their parents call weird but she's secure enough to ignore them and carry on being herself.

@Plimos reading your posts two things come at mind:
1- If anything, your son is actually mature for his age and is actually ahead of other kids academically. He is probably a lot more intelligent than the other kids.
2 - He has a sensitive soul and so what? He's seems to be inclined to arts, books, etc, and it's fine, not every boy will be a footballer or a twat in suit in the City.

He seems to be a dream child, enjoy him ❤️

He sounds a lot like my DD1 and I can understand your worries, as I've been concerned that DD is happy enough at school but doesn't have a core group of friends. But those are just my worries as I'm her mum and want the best for her and I need to put those aside as actually, she is perfect! She's a bookworm and wants to be playing with lego or drawing fantasy worlds. She'll find her tribe in her own time, as will your son so I don't think taking him out of school is the solution here.

However, the parents making comments to you sound absolutely thick and rude, so if it is the sort of school which is very split by gender stereotypes then there may be a better school out there for your DS. We're lucky with ours that there are the football boys and the girly girls but also a lot in the middle as a PP said with boys that like crafts more than sports and girls that are into Pokémon more than Barbie etc etc. Just a good mix of children (and parents).

The parents making comments to you are insecure and want to normalise their own DCs' screen addictions as then it makes them feel better. Ignore them.

I think its them not you. Your DS sounds completely normal.

Your ds sounds just right to me. I'm wondering what kids get given as birthday presents when they have parties at your son's school? I would 100% by a toy for a 7 year old.

• Buya toy

Sounds pretty average for his age to me. The odd thing there I'd say he was the top end of the target audience for - like Hey Duggee - but for the most part very normal.

I'd say just wanting to play Roblox etc all day in a 7 year old would be old for their age, and indicative of them being allowed to do that a bit too young, tbh. I'd be expecting that shift to happen between 8-11.

My son didn't really 'fit in' in his old class at school. The other boys were very much into gaming and Pokemon whereas my son liked sport, dinosaurs and animals. He moved to a different school and immediately clicked with a lovely new group of friends. He hasn't looked back.

I think it's lovely that your son loves reading and drawing and definitely should not feel pressure to 'aspire' to be more into computer games.

This sounds fine.
Your son sounds great.

Stick him on the waiting list for a preferred school and move him if you get chance.

If not emphasise the positives and focus on his out of school activities.

I think there’s quite a weird attitude with some people about children - I remember on here once being picked up about how odd my child was because she liked playing with the Paw Patrol figures and a big toy tower thing of Paw Patrol. She was 6 years old. Apparently that’s weird and something a 3 year old should do. To me it seemed totally normal that a 6 year old child should play with toy dogs and their ‘house.’ I remember being older than that and playing with my Lion King figures, making up stories for them. And my older DD played with baby dolls till she was about 11! To me it doesn’t seem odd. Why is sitting on Minecraft day in day out preferable to old fashioned playing with toys and with other kids? You’re an adult almost all your life, enjoy being a kid fir the short time you can.

I still do Lego now and I’m almost 30!

But about your son I’d just laugh at people when they say he’s ‘young.’ Or question or perhaps their child is ‘too old.’ He’s 7! You’re supposed to be young when you’re bloody 7.

It sounds like he just have different interests than his peers, and this is currently making it difficult for him to fit in.

I'd be happier with his current interests than the ones you're being told other kids his age are doing.

As long as hes happy that the important thing.

My daughter also seems quite young for her age in relation to her peers.

Shes 9, and some of her behaviours seem more childish than I see in other girls her age. Some of them seem so mature.

My son was exactly the same OP - same interests, as such he didn't really make friends until the sixth form which was a real shame. But after that he really blossomed.
At 40 he is a very successful professional artist so I am very glad I encouraged his interests.
Imaginative play is essential at that age and he certainly isn't too old for toys.
Its a shame children have to "fir in" doing things they don't want to do just to be popular. Your DS sounds like a delight.

He sounds great op I'd be proud of him.
I'd much rather my kids were doing those activities than stuck on screens.
Kids grow up so quickly and so many parents are too desperate to be seen as cool so they go along with it even though it's hugely problematic to spend such long periods on screens.

He sounds like my children at that age. They were always reading books and doing jigsaw puzxles or playing chess. All also massively into Sports like tennis, horse riding, swimming, and one son played rugby and football. I limited screens to maximum 1 hour per day except for Kindle. As adults they now all read books, engage in various Sports, my dd enjoys painting and drawing and eldest DS does amazing baking. Much better than having teens glued to their Xbox all the time and you can't get them out their house to do anything. There was a poster last week with a son glued to his Xbox.

He sounds lovely and normal.

He sounds great. Maybe he’ll grow up to be an architect.

This sounds a bit like my son, although he would happily spend ages on Roblox!

Not all boys are obsessed with football and hate reading - he's a clever kid and clearly knows his own mind.

I love it when kids refuse to go along with the norm and choose their own path.

Just be there for him if he takes any stick for it and be ready to fight his corner, and in the meantime don't worry about what other Mums say.

Your DS sounds like a lovely boy.

So you are mixing with parents who are desperate to have kids who belong to the 'cool gang' rather than parents who don't give a shit and don't plug their kids in to manage their behaviour.

Meh.

Your seven year old sounds normal.

My eight year old (coming up for nine) STILL loves those things - and so does half the boys in his class.

Ignore. This is about insecure parents not a reflection on your child who is doing age appropriate things.

How patronising.

My almost 7yr old loves drawing, painting, playing with dollies, reading and Bluey. She seems very normal amongst her peers. What you're describing sounds more like kids in my older daughters year and she's nearly nine (and even she and many of her friends love Bluey, although I think that they tell one another that theywatch it with their littler siblings!)

Do you live in an especially cosmopolitan or sophisticated place where young people are encouraged to do more adult things? Although tbh I can't imagine where that would be as we are in London and if anywhere creates overly adult kids it's probably here.

Really weird @Plimos anyway- don't worry. They're the odd ones saying this, not you or your son.