Comments on my 7 year old being "young" for his age?

[Plimos]

My just turned 7 YO has notably different interests to those of the majority of his peers. I feel like he doesn't have many friends because of this.

He spends most of his free time reading, drawing, doing lego and playing imaginary games. He has a Nintendo Switch which he likes but will do 30 minutes on it max before he gets bored. Whereas the other boys in his class seem to want to do nothing but play Minecraft, Roblox etc. I have had comments from other parents that my DS is very young for his age because he "still" plays with toys. At 7 surely he's fine to be playing with toys?!?! He has also been teased by the other children because he still watches some cbeebies programmes like Hey Duggee, Maddie, Bluey. He also likes some CBBC stuff and other things.

Academically he's fine, ahead in most areas. And I feel that he is emotionally mature. He seems perfectly happy. But people are making me feel that his interests are too "young" and that's why he gets left out of things at school. Any experiences?

Apart from the TV shows (which I'm not familiar with) he sounds more mature and intelligent tbh! He obviously is smart and uses his imagination, I'd say people making those comments are actually jealous

Love this!!

But seriously- reading, drawing, Lego, imaginary games? I hope my three are doing this in their teens to be honest!! (Though I maybe naive there!)

Life is long and childhood is brief. Ignore what others say. He sounds like what a 7 year old should be like!

My 10 yo and 14 yo enjoy Lego. Sometimes my 48 yo DH likes a go with the Lego too.

Your child sounds completely normal.

Not everyone likes the same things. Its brilliant he doesn't want to spend all his time on Minecraft etc. long May that continue.

He's an individual with his own tastes.

Exactly

My son is age 10/yr5 at school.
We (his parents) do think he's quite young for his age but only in comparison to his peers because he still plays lego, pokemon, younger games on the ps3, imaginary games with his younger brothers, etc. He also loves reading and drawing and would do that all day if he could. (Has been told off at school for reading too much when he should be working!)

Imo his peers are "too old" they have mobile phones, spend time on 15+ games, watch YouTube all day etc.

I'd much prefer my son to be doing what he's doing rather than be glued to a mobile phone all day.

There's plenty of time to grow up.

When I was 9 I did a cartwheel in my front garden. Another girl from school huffed at me and told me "grow up"....she was 8

I told her there and then that she was a moody cow and she needs to lighten up. 😂 she's still a moody cow and now she's 37!

You and your DS seem to be surrounded by idiots (no offence, but they don't sound very bright to assume art is for girls etc)

You need to find a better group of people. I'd be concerned about the schooling if "teasing" like this is normal. Teasing about art is just weird / odd. Can you swap schools?

(Our school is "requires improvement" but they cherish creativity in boys and girls!!)

@Plimos is there a beavers / cubs group near you? He'd fit right in (sorry if already mentioned!) and would help him make new friends....

My eldest grandson will be ten next week, his gift from us is transformer Lego ( he picked ) and posh felt pens . He reads , can happily play for hours on his own , in his head , with figures with Lego . He goes to cubs , camps swimming. He has games console that he plays with as and when . Up until the spring he was an only . Do not engage with these ridiculous people , they could only wish for a son like yours . GS has loads of friends . Your boy will with luck go for quality over quantity re friends . We are crossing fingers that our boy gets in to grammar. Thinking about it , GS has a great life , 50/50 with two parents who put him front and centre , so he didn’t need to escape via a screen . Pity the DC that are being parented by a screen , if their parents can say they are more grown up then they need less parenting?

Yes he already goes :) loves it.

I think you must be very young for your age, that you attach so much significance to the opinions of other parents (or the interests of their children).

You don't need my opinion of your son, or those of other strangers here. Trust yourself.

OP Would the other parents have said anything if he was a girl?

I think not. And if so, it tells you that their real issue is about imposing gender stereotypes on boys, and seeing ‘girly’ (!) activities such as reading and art as low status, childish and things to be discouraged.

I honestly don't know but I suspect not. He prefers to play with the girls but it's started to get to the point now that some of them are saying he can't join in their games because he's a boy.

I do wonder if maybe I need to look at other schools. All primaries in my area are hugely over subscribed unfortunately. This school wasn't our first choice.

When I was in year 9 at secondary school most of the class still watched Fairly Odd Parents.

They're chatting shit, he's fine for his age.

My 11yo still walks around playing imaginary games waving a stick about or playing with swords and still likes drawing (he's very proud of his sketch book) and has recently branched out into AI generated images based on his ideas for a bit of fun! He also plays computer games like everyone else and is completely average for his age in terms of academics and social skills. I think it's lovely they can be "children" for as long as possible before the inevitable teenage glued to tik tok phase. He doesn't have a phone yet as doesn't need one so whilst he watches you tube on my iPad I'm pleased he's not getting dragged into social media proper. Your DS is fine in my opinion, let him crack on and enjoy being a kid, I feel sorry for the people criticizing and their poor 7 year olds as I really do not understand the rush to grow up. Who'd want to be a grown up?!

He sounds like a normal 7 year old with a good range of varied interests. If he has only turned 7, he must be quite young in his year group compared to peers? I wouldn't worry about it and encourage him to continue playing. The benefits of play are under estimated! My dc still played with barbjes when she was 10.

I honestly think you need to look at other schools. This one sounds like it's full of dullard parents....

And as he gets older he'll likely slip through the net as the teachers and TAs will have to focus on the other children!

He doesn't sound young for his age. He sounds like a lovely child doing age appropriate activities and is supported by a great Mum who has his back.

It might blow some of the school parents' minds to find out that not every child is glued to a screen.

Your DC is probably the sort of nice, well-rounded child who will get on with other nice, well-rounded children who have interests beyond their screens.

It might be worth looking at other schools. In my experience, KS2 classes end up with three social groups - football boys, girly girls (as in make up, early access to social media, more adult style clothes outside school), the mixed middle of geeky and / or gender non confirming kids of both sexes.

If you think there won’t be that middle group because parents are highly invested in gender stereotypes, it might be quite hard for him socially in the future.

The things he is interested in are appropriate and normal for a7 year old boy, surely? There's nothing wrong with screens and computer games but no other interests other than playing Minecraft and Roblox? That's the problem.

Your DS sounds lovely and just like mine who is the same age. I would have a look at other schools if that’s a possibility - hopefully one with less stereotyping parents!

He sounds very well balanced to me. Well done!

Keep encouraging the diverse interests and low pressure to grow up and conform.

Oh wow. How can 7 be too young for toys??

I still played pretend games with Lego and other character sets at 12 but at that age I had an inkling that it wasn't cool to do so anymore. I remember once a friend coming over after I'd set up my pretend world with smurfs and I was super embarrassed.

My almost 7 year old DD is also definitely still into imaginary play, dolls, teddies, etc. She's born end of August and is the youngest in her class but I was a bit surprised that some of her other friends seemed to be more into sports and structured play. I thought it was just an individual preference (or maybe boys preferring sports at the risk of being sexist..). She also still loves watching stuff that her peers have out grown of like paw patrol, Peppa pig, etc.

I don't think it's young to be honest. I think it's just different interests. I've always encouraged pretend and imaginary play, have got involved myself (and tried to keep screens to a minimum) and she naturally loves arts and crafts, etc. She also also loves reading so maybe that goes together with a vivid imagination and rich inner imaginative world?

I don't have an answer for you but I've got a feeling that we will also soon be in a similar situation.

I don't know if you can do this but when I meet some of the other mums of her classmates I often talk of the benefits of this kind of play (without mentioning that DD likes it anyway) and how I wish she could do more of that and I think with a few of them they might be getting ever so slightly influenced by me. I also do it with the kids I know well. It wasn't my intention and I think (hope) I don't preach but it was just me making conversation. It's basically putting a positive spin on her interests rather than them thinking it's "young".

And art being for girls is just nonsense. I wonder if you could mention that to the school. Dd's school promotes art a lot and talks about different artists (both male and female). I think even just a line from a teacher on how arts is for everybody might help. (Don't know about other kids but for DD and her classmates whatever their teachers say is gospel...).

This.
How sad for the other parents to see being addicted to screens as a sign of maturity.

He sounds fine to me! I have a 7YO DD and whilst she wouldn’t choose to watch CBeebies, if it’s ever on when younger relatives are watching it she enjoys it. And she does sometimes watch hey duggee for some nostalgia.

I wish she would still play more with her toys but it’s colouring or iPad unless I sit down with her to play.