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Original poster

What do SAHMs do for hospital appointments?

92 replies

Itsherbirthday · 08/06/2023 08:11

Wondering this as am eight months pregnant so I feel as if I’m on first name terms with my hospital at the moment! But children aren’t allowed into scans or other appointments. I can understand why, but I just wonder what you do if you don’t have an alternative? For instance, I have an appointment in a few weeks on a day I don’t work, DH will have to have our toddler but what if he couldn’t, or I was a single parent?

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 08/06/2023 08:12

Dh/dp uses annual leave
Your or your dps parents or siblings
A friend
Sitters.co.uk

ProfessorXtra · 08/06/2023 08:13

Most single parents have someone they can call on, on occasion. friends, family members or Even if it’s paid childcare.

I was a single parent and I ensured I had a trusted baby sitter that I regularly used.

If you are in sole care of your child and get rushed into hospital, they take the child with you and try to contact someone from the hospital

Ragwort · 08/06/2023 08:14

Family? Friends? That's why the expression 'it takes a village' is so important. Build up a social network. I moved four hours away from family and friends when I was pregnant and knew no one ... I got involved in the local community ... people helped me when I had my baby and I helped them ...

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Oftentimes · 08/06/2023 08:15

Most people would ask their partner, relative or friend. Or they would have to hire a babysitter.

Mrsjayy · 08/06/2023 08:16

Parents usually have a friend/family member that would watch a baby for an appointment but if not they either have to cancel or take them

Original poster
Itsherbirthday · 08/06/2023 08:16

It does take a village but it’s not always that straightforward! I mean, I have plenty of friends but none available during the day to have a toddler as all at work. Perhaps that would be different if I was a SAHM, though.

OP posts:
ilovebagpuss · 08/06/2023 08:17

Partner takes time off or you call in favour from friend or family. Or take them depending on appointment if check up or similar.

Followill · 08/06/2023 08:17

DH takes time off
Friends or family look after them
When I had my booking in with DS2, my mum came with us and sat with DS1 in the waiting room

sexnotgenders · 08/06/2023 08:18

Thankfully my hospital allow children in (major central London teaching hospital). If they didn't, I would have to bring her with me anyway as we have no childcare alternatives. I made this clear at my booking appointment and was told it wouldn't be an issue. I've really enjoyed how engaged my toddler has been - she helps the midwife do my bump measurements and presses the button on the doppler, helps with the blood pressure cuff etc. It's helped her to feel involved and has in no way gotten in the way of my care.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 08/06/2023 08:18

Itsherbirthday · 08/06/2023 08:16

It does take a village but it’s not always that straightforward! I mean, I have plenty of friends but none available during the day to have a toddler as all at work. Perhaps that would be different if I was a SAHM, though.

Don't most SAHM have partners? Otherwise how are they funding the SAHM part?

Followill · 08/06/2023 08:19

Plus once your DC reach 3 you are eligible for childcare funding (it was 2 where I live). Then they go to school when they're 4.

CurlewKate · 08/06/2023 08:19

Don't understand the question. Why should SAHMs have a particular difficulty?

Original poster
Itsherbirthday · 08/06/2023 08:20

I know a few lone parents who don’t work, or work part time. And if DH did my job, he probably wouldn’t be able to take time off at short notice. Luckily his work is a bit more flexible.

OP posts:
Original poster
Itsherbirthday · 08/06/2023 08:20

CurlewKate · 08/06/2023 08:19

Don't understand the question. Why should SAHMs have a particular difficulty?

Because they don’t tend to have childcare, because they are the childcare …

OP posts:
Followill · 08/06/2023 08:20

CurlewKate · 08/06/2023 08:19

Don't understand the question. Why should SAHMs have a particular difficulty?

One would presume they're SAHM to care for the children and therefore do not have established childcare in place.

PuttingDownRoots · 08/06/2023 08:21

I took my toddler to several appointments, including an emergency hospital check up until her grandparents could get there to pick her up.

The maternity department was used to it in our area.. it was the hospital covering Catterick garrison so they were used to the fathers being absent!

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 08/06/2023 08:22

Itsherbirthday · 08/06/2023 08:16

It does take a village but it’s not always that straightforward! I mean, I have plenty of friends but none available during the day to have a toddler as all at work. Perhaps that would be different if I was a SAHM, though.

Are you going to any local play groups or BFing Supoort groups?

You might find some local Mums & Mums to be who you can soon rely on for this type of thing.

Mrsjayy · 08/06/2023 08:23

But a hospital appointment really isn't that short notice thet are booked in advance and if its a short notice appointment I'd expect something was wrong and the other parent would take time off

Fudgewomble · 08/06/2023 08:23

I went in to very premature labour at 2am with my second child and it was peak holiday season : all six of my closest friends or neighbours who you could possibly call on at 2am were all away. It was an emergency situation so i took my 2 yr old to the hospital with me. Obviously pretty chaotic and not ideal but in an emergency you do what you have to do and the hospital were supportive. During the day I built up a network of trusted babysitters / nannies / childminders and just paid for help.

Original poster
Itsherbirthday · 08/06/2023 08:24

Well, short notice can be variable. I’ve got one for two weeks which work wouldn’t let me take time off for if I was the man and DH was the woman (I’ve explained badly but I mean while I get time off for my maternity hospital appointments as that’s legal, I wouldn’t be permitted this for childcare reasons.)

OP posts:
JaninaDuszejko · 08/06/2023 08:25

I don't see what it has to do with SAHMs. I work and when the kids were small I had to take them to doctor appointments, which I arranged for my day off work as much as possible. What are you suppose to do if you have no family nearby to help?

When we took them to scans we didn't make a big deal of 'look at your sibling' (which is what the HCPs don't want), they were just in the room while Mummy was checked by the doctor. One nurse was a bit rude when I took 6 month old DD1 to my smear test but I just told her she'd come through my cervix a few months before and I had nobody to look after her so she was staying in the room.

Original poster
Itsherbirthday · 08/06/2023 08:27

Gosh @Fudgewomble poor you, hope all was all right!

It has crossed my mind that I’d struggle if DH was at work and I went into Labour on a day DS is home!

OP posts:
Original poster
Itsherbirthday · 08/06/2023 08:28

Babies are a bit different though @JaninaDuszejko . Mobile toddlers who want to explore are another matter. I’ve asked re SAHMs as mostly my appointments have fallen on days I’m in work, and when DS is in childcare so hasn’t been an issue. It would potentially be an issue if I didn’t work at all.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 08/06/2023 08:29

Itsherbirthday · 08/06/2023 08:27

Gosh @Fudgewomble poor you, hope all was all right!

It has crossed my mind that I’d struggle if DH was at work and I went into Labour on a day DS is home!

Your dh leaves work and comes home then. Employees just have to deal with it.

Original poster
Itsherbirthday · 08/06/2023 08:30

Yes … in our case he works about an hour and a half away so that’s specific to us. I was just having a musing sort of a chat with another poster, it was more a rhetorical question than one I needed someone to answer!

OP posts: