Father has headstone up but he's not dead.

[bumpercarbarry]

I kid you not, this is not a wind up!

My Father is in his early 70s and had his funeral arranged for about 8 years I'd say. It's all booked and paid for, just waiting for the day to come, as he puts it.

He says he doesn't want to leave the burden/finance for someone else to pick up. All I have to do is ring the funeral directors and tell them and they will see to rest.

However, he's now gone one step ahead and has had his head stone put up in the cemetery, complete with writing on, apart from the year of death of course.

AIBU to thing this is possibly the most bizarre thing I've ever heard?

Different strokes for different folks, but jeez he takes the biscuit!

My mother in law has done exactly this. She has a family plot and her name and husband's name she has added to the gravestone. I think she feels she is being helpful.

It's a bit bonkers but actually very sweet. He obviously wants to be organised and make life easier for everyone when he dies.

It's his way of trying to make peace with his mortality. Some people are religious and believe in a god and hope that that makes their death less scary. He's just very practical.

I rather like his style

I love this! Tbh I should do the same because my DH would only fuck it up.

We had to wait a few months before my sons headstone could be put in, but obviously when I'm eventually buried beside him (well on top) the headstone will just have my details added. It'll get done in situ, no need to remove it.

Mind you your dad is lucky he could buy the plot, where my son is, you choose the plot when its needed but there's no guarantee it'll be suitable until they try to open it, so you can't buy in advance.

I think your dad has been very sensible.

He often visits it to ensure everything is as it should be up the cemetery, whatever that is meant to mean.

Thats hilarious! 🤣🤣 I'm picturing a Victor Meldrew type patrolling the cemetery barking orders at unsuspecting mourners.

Honestly, could he not just take up fishing or something? Inspecting your grave and headstone is next level! 🙈

Ehhh I'm really sorry I did laugh...I can just imagine him going to polish it and everything...but least he is prepared

No, it is funny, that's why I'd thought share. I know he does wipe it over with a wet cloth. Seriously.

This is a great point 😂

I was told you had to wait at least 6 months after burial (but 12 months is better) before fitting a gravestone and the ground sinks. So I hope he's also arranged with the funeral director to store the headstone for this time after he's been buried. We had to do this after my DM died and went into the same plot as DF - who had died 2 years earlier and DM had wanted the headstone on.

My mother had a funeral plan in place, it was one of the best things she did for us all - it made it so easy when she died. I'm going to get one for the same reason. She wanted to be cremated, so the issue of a headstone didn't arise.

Tbh it’s better than what happened to my late FIL - he bought and paid for his headstone when pre-planning his funeral, but by the time he died the stone company had gone out of business. At least if it’s there it’s there

Did he get a bargain bucket headstone OP?! My dad would have done this if it meant saving a few £££

Me too 😂

neveR thought of this scenario before and now I’m thinking why not!

That’s what I thought. The ground needs to settle before putting it in?

It's really nothing fancy at all. So probably.

This isn’t uncommon. I know tons of people that do this.

I know of someone who had a large Celtic cross "headstone" over the grave they were to be buried in, in a public graveyard.
It was put up many years before the man died.
He finally got to use it.
Despite his great wealth and many children it rarely has a flower on it.
His much younger widow ( his only wife ) is still alive. She never remarried.

My PILs did this. They used to show people a photo of it on a phone. It made them feel they weren't going to be a burden on people when they went.

I weirdly love this idea, sorry OP!

Maybe it's his way of coming to terms with things.

I guess it might feel different for you since you know you'll have to visit the real thing one day of course.

I just think you're a long time dead, why would you want to keep going up there and visiting it and dusting it off.

This is the funniest thing I’ve read on here today!
I can’t imagine doing it myself, but at least it will always give you the amusing memory in the future.
It’s good that he feels able to do that, shows he isn’t afraid of death. It’s a bit odd that he regularly visits it though!

My mom has similar,my son passed away 18months ago and we had him cremated,a Sanctum Vault became available right next to my sons last year and my mom booked and paid for it and had to pay to have a headstone on,but all hers says is 'Reserved -(then her surname).
She wanted to be as close to my son as possible so jumped at the chance when it became available.