Father has headstone up but he's not dead.

[bumpercarbarry]

I kid you not, this is not a wind up!

My Father is in his early 70s and had his funeral arranged for about 8 years I'd say. It's all booked and paid for, just waiting for the day to come, as he puts it.

He says he doesn't want to leave the burden/finance for someone else to pick up. All I have to do is ring the funeral directors and tell them and they will see to rest.

However, he's now gone one step ahead and has had his head stone put up in the cemetery, complete with writing on, apart from the year of death of course.

AIBU to thing this is possibly the most bizarre thing I've ever heard?

Different strokes for different folks, but jeez he takes the biscuit!

I think it's hilarious! 😂 Takes planning ahead and being organised to the extreme, love it.

It’s utterly strange but I’d take it with the kindness that was intended. It’s so hard when your parent dies then you have to pay for things when you literally don’t give a damn.

My parents have a double plot with headstone. My mum is still alive and likes to tell us it's all done and we just have to fill in her date when she goes. I don't think it's that weird.

My GM has half of a double plot. I remember walking through the chuchyard years ago and her pointing out a plot with a little 'reserved' flag in it! I'd forgotten that until now.

But yes, headstone actually 'planted' is weird. They'll have to remove it to carve the date etc and wait for things to settle for a start. So have to pay to install it twice, which seems a bit bonkers.

Couldn't he have kept it in the shed or something if he wanted to be organised?!

this,
OP look at it this way, he has taken all the decisons out of you/your familys hand at what is a difficult and emotional time and will have the send off he wants

I don't know but I know that this one is well and truly up!

To extreme and beyond 😳😂

I agree. I'm pretty sure graveyards have pretty strict rules about headstones i.e you can't erect a memorial w/o the name of the deceased.

Headstones are heavy. If this is true it would need to be removed, his body buried, the ground left to settle and the headstone put in place. I don't think he's saved anyone a job.

That's different. The (double) headstone is already in place. This is a new headstone.

Quite a few years ago my son and I backpacked around Cambodia, at a temple, in the window of the big hall where the monks ate ,was a a huge and very ornate coffin. It was for the head monk , he’d been ill years before but recovered, but not before his box had been made ! So the poor guy had to eat every meal looking at his future!

Also, maybe he should have discussed it with those who love him.
Many people find the organising of the funeral etc helps with the process of grieving.

Like a Boy Scout on speed!

I like his style - it will seriously lighten the load for you all when the time comes.

If it helps him it helps him. But it does seem a bit much to keep visiting it. Do you all go out as a family etc? So he's not just sat at home waiting to die?

I mean, theyre bloody expensive! I'm intrigued as to what he's had written on it

This is so hyper organised I simply cannot relate.

I sort of feel relieved that organising my funeral isn't something that others can add to my existing mental load 🤣

Its recommended not to install a headstone for a period of time as the weight of same may compromise the recently buried coffin. If no burial has occurred so it won’t matter.

Engravings are done in situ on already erected headstones.

Oh I heard of somebody doing this the other week and they are only early 60s😳 I always thought the ground had to settle after burial then a headstone could go up obviouslynpt
.i mean there is being too organised imo!

You are advised not to inter a headstone and a body at the same time - if the headstone is in now, without a body; it won't need removing. They'll finish the engraving on-site.

It is logical but odd.

Ah so it doesn't matter which way round just not at the same time .

A headstone already in situ does not need to be removed for a burial and reinstalled. The engraver adds the text to the headstone in situ at the graveside.

That's mad. I've never heard of this. And I say that as an Irish person with a very relaxed attitude to funerals and as it happens I was even at one this morning where there was lots of discussion before the actual burial while we waited for the coffin to arrive about how nice "Joe " from up the roads headstone was. Fair play to your dad for his high level of organisation.

Wow. Very weird but fair play to him. Shows an acceptance of death as well which must be strangely reassuring to him.

I saw a video a few days ago where a lady had done this including her photo etc. All that was missing was the death year.

We have a marble family tomb in the South of France. It's had the names of all those that want to be interred there etched decades in advance of any deaths. It hasn't really occurred to me to question it but I suppose it's a bit odd. Nobody who hasn't intended to end up there hasn't forcibly had their name added by the way!

It's very basic. Name, date of birth, father, grandad, great grandad, rest in peace.