ADHD and the military. Diagnose or not?

[OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide]

DD is 12. She has always wanted to be a pilot, potentially in the RAF.

She is currently undergoing assessment for ADHD. When we spoke with the paed about her future desires they advised we may not want the diagnosis made formal if she was potentially going to want to join the military, as they will ask if she has ever been diagnosed and would have restrictions of the answer was yes.

She’s only 12 so things could change of course but someone said it would be better to take the diagnosis and get the support and hope that by the time she might be looking to a military career she would have the ADHD under control.

I think it’s too big of a risk in terms of narrowing her potential future options.

school have said confirmation of the traits is enough to get the support she may need for exams etc.

(It’s highly likely I have ADHD as well. Have forged a good career despite the struggles but do wonder what else I could have been had I had the support at her age.)

Shes in the NHS process as well but unlikely to be seen for 2.5-3 years. Plan would be for her to join air cadets at 13 to decide whether it is something she would want to pursue. If it puts her off she could then get the formal diagnosis at 15 ahead of GCSEs.

what would you do?

I have adhd. So do my kids. One of them is likely to never be able to drive, even though he's medicated.

Trying to game the system by not getting a DX when she's clearly in need of it for school is wrong because she may well be a danger in charge of a plane.

You can’t ask an assessor to fudge a diagnosis of ADHD if the assessment shows she has ADHD. That would be acting to conceal her ADHD. If she were ever found out to know she could have ADHD, was tested when it became clear she was going to be diagnosed with it, she then stopped everything specifically so she could apply to the RAF and not disclose ADHD, she would instantly be terminated.

This warning is on every RAF medical screening questionnaire
Any failure to declare your past medical history or any existing medical/health conditions may result in your application being discontinued. If you are found to have concealed or not declared a health issue once employed by the RAF/RESERVES then this may result in employment termination under the terms of Queens Regulations as Services No Longer Required.

Oh, and she might face a court martial and fine too, depending if she gave a false answer on recruitment about not having ADHD. In other words, that horse has bolted, she’s being assessed and come what may she will need to accept the outcome of the assessment or get a second assessment to overturn the first if there is good reason.

Unless you’ve been in this position you can’t possibly know what it’s like. She’s wanted to be a pilot since she was 3. It’s very hard to give up the prospect when it’s been her plan for 3/4 of her time on this planet.

I’ve never known what I wanted to be so this is all new to me. A little compassion wouldn’t go amiss.

My dd has ADD which was diagnosed as an adult along with dyspraxia. She was a bit away with the fairies at school but although inattentive ADD was suspected, it wasn't enough to be diagnosed and she didn't want to take any meds. She was glad to have made the decision because it meant she could achieve her dream of joining the Army later on.

As I said, she was diagnosed as an adult with ADD and dyspraxia. By the Army. They are not kind. No support. They were brutal, to be frank. If you're wired that way, ironing, putting together a gun and holding a map in your head are difficult. They aren't supposed to be difficult and the pressure was relentless. Somehow she stayed in for 4 years but it nearly broke her and she won't let any of her Army photos be on display. The good thing was, they were great at helping her move into a different career.

She's now on meds and much happier in her career and life but it was a very dark period of her life

It was the assessing paediatrician that advised the question is “have you ever been diagnosed” and that we may want to pause if so.

I’m just weighing up options.

it’s not about getting her into flying of she shouldn’t. It’s about not wrecking her dreams at 12.

Well, I wanted to be a pilot so I could be an astronaut but then at age 8, I needed glasses and only now, a half century too late, is it ok to be a pilot and wear contact lenses. It wasn’t safe for me to be a pilot for my generation, so I gave up my dream of floating in the International Space Station and seeing the planet from orbit. I found another dream to follow. That’s what you do when life throws a disability at you.

Dreams get wrecked. It’s a fact of life and this is a chance to teach her resiliency and how it’s an opportunity to replace one dream with another dream.

If she has something that makes her unsuitable to fly, then she has it. And best to know now, so she has time to find and become enthusiastic about an alternative, plus get any support available to her.

I have been in a similar position actually op!
Life's tough. You'll make it tougher for her by not getting her the support she NEEDS now because she wants to chase a dream

Teen years are approaching.... things change drastically...

Crackers thread.

She is 12, she knows nothing about the hundreds of careers out there. Are you really going to hide a diagnosis, and potentially hinder her academic life because of a half formed idea of a preteen?

For heavens sake, get her the help she needs, and help broaden her interests so she is exposed to more choice.
🙄

What if she needs glasses? Becomes overweight?

I don’t think the RAF rely entirely on childhood health records when medically screening their pilot candidates. They’re going to subject cadets to rigorous medical assessments to include psychological testing and I think that untreated ADHD first flagged up as a pre-teen would be obvious to them and she’d be rather quickly winnowed out. But if it had been treated for 6-7yrs and was well managed, and times have moved on according to the trends we are seeing then there is a chance the medical screening review could pass her. Maybe not as pilot but as aircrew of some sort.

I think too, that even once a pilot that they undergo regular medical checks (physical and mental) in order to be able to stay flying.

It’s not so simple as refuse a diagnosis, tick a box at recruitment and she’s going to sail right on through to getting her wings with no further medical assessments. I don’t think the option to conceal this is a realistic one and the paediatrician that suggested it may not understand the risks.

that’s the last I will say on this.

All good considerations.

Thank you for all the posts. This has been an absolute rollercoaster, including realising the impact ADHD has had on me and my life choices so it’s taking quite some energy to work it through.

I think too, that even once a pilot that they undergo regular medical checks (physical and mental) in order to be able to stay flying.

Correct..annual/six monthly, depends on various factors though the big hurdle is usually the initial medical right at the start of the career (both for entering military and civilian aviation).

The various regulators/branches of the military have different rules so you can’t assume what applies in for example in the civilian world in the States ( regulated by the FAA) works for the Uk/Europe military.

Probably really worth pointing out that in the civilian world the regulators quite rightly really cracked down on anybody trying hide conditions of any sort in the wake of the Germanwings accident.

I’d really advise not trying to hide any diagnosis from selectors/regulators.

Uk CAA info here:

https://www.caa.co.uk/aeromedical-examiners/medical-standards/pilots/conditions/mental-health/dyslexia-asperger-syndrome-and-adhd/

DH wanted to be a train driver since he was 3. He applied at age 18 and failed the eyesight test. It didn't break him.

As someone with adhd I would explore you to get a diagnosis if it will help her cope with life - adhd can be crippling and lead to comornid conditions which will also restrict her choices

For me it was eating disorders and self harm as a teen- so those meant a) I was deeply unhappy
b) on the list of unwanted conditions for the military

PennyWeisse Indeed The unfaithful one is still waving his wild tail where it pleases him and mostly living at the neighbours. He's due another grab and clipper soon !

I would wait for the NHS route. I have a friend who was in similar position. Her d’s thought he wanted to join the police. NHS said he just met the threshold for diagnosis of ASD but were happy if they didn’t want to take it and would leave an open door for him to come back if he felt he needed the diagnosis. School were supportive so he didn’t need a diagnosis to get any extra support there and she and he felt they didn’t want to potentially limit career options. Obviously he was a high functioning child.

https://www.epilepsy.com/complications-risks/moods-behavior/adhd#:~:text=Attention%2Ddeficit%2Fhyperactivity%20disorder%20(,disorder%20in%20children%20with%20epilepsy.

I dearly hope this is not the case for you, but ADHD can be linked to can increased risk of seizures. As we found out last week when our son had seizures out of the blue (he has inattentive ADHD & autism).

It is a relatively small risk, but appears higher for those with ADHD, so is something to consider & something the military may or may not take into consideration.

Forgot to say it also seems to be brought on by hormonal changes such as puberty & periods, which could be why my son, at 12, has displayed no symptoms of seizures until now (currently starting investigations).

DD is well into puberty (periods since 10). This certainly seems to be a factor in the ADHD symptoms, plus lockdown plus the shift from small community primary school to secondary school.

I'm autistic and totally agree with you on this

Again, this isn’t about muscling DD into a plane at all costs. It’s about narrowing down her options this early as well as self-esteem factors which are having a significant impact on her mental health.

There is diverse advice in the thread which is giving me pause for thought.

I think it would be kinder to explain to your DD that this might mean she can't be a pilot for safety reasons. It might not mean she can never fly a plane privately. I don't think it's fair to let someone to keep believing they can do something when there is a very good reason why they can't. Better to manage their expectations gently early on rather than let it all come crashing down later.

she is exhausted from masking at school

What do you think she would be like from masking whilst at work?

The benefits for her of being diagnosed far outweigh the negative of not being able to fly as a job.