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Original poster

Big big problem. Mother of the bride and someone else has same outfit.

59 replies

Cookiemonstersnana · 27/05/2023 22:11

DD gets married for the second time next weekend it a very casual affair.
I purchased a lovely dress from Roman. DD didn't want anyone to spend a lot of money on outfits.
Today went to see my younger brother and his girlfriend was showing me her outfit.
It's exactly the same as mine but in a different colour.
Mine is black and ivory.
Hers black and lemon.
What should I do. I suppose it's my fault in just getting a dress from a popular store and not specifically for a wedding.
Should I still wear the black and ivory.
Fortunately I do have a lovely dress not been worn yet.

OP posts:
Gerwurtztraminer · 27/05/2023 22:19

Do you love it and feel really good in it? If so wear it and style it out on the day "we both have good taste". (Actually, I'd probably let bro's girlfriend know so she can decide whether to get something else).

If it's nice but nothing really special then can you return it? Because if so, either wear the other lovely dress you have or get something else. You're mother of the bride, even for a 2nd time around you deserve to wear something that makes you feel great.

Stompythedinosaur · 27/05/2023 22:20

I wouldn't think twice about it. Just wear the dress, I don't think it particularly matters if it is the same dress as someone else.

TeaKitten · 27/05/2023 22:21

This is not a big big problem. The outfits are a different colour which is a bonus, if you like it wear it. If anyone notices it wouldn’t be seen as a negative anyway (unless you have horrible friends), enjoy the wedding!

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CoffeeYes · 27/05/2023 22:24

I would return it and get something else. Maybe something that isn’t black and white.

UsingChangeofName · 27/05/2023 22:36

Does the last line of your OP mean you have another lovely dress you've not worn yet ?
In which case, I would wear that.

If not, I would look for something else.

UsingChangeofName · 27/05/2023 22:38

Oh, x-posted. I agree with @DonttouchthatLarry .
If it is that one, they don't look like the same dress at all. Smile

Writeandroll · 27/05/2023 22:41

Big big problem would be someone wearing the same dress as the bride 😊

Go with what you’re comfortable in, if they’re different colours, I wonder if anyone would even notice? If not, go for another one you like.

Enjoy the day!

Helpmeimtired · 27/05/2023 22:46

Oh god. No advice, but offering a handhold x

Dodger101 · 27/05/2023 22:48

This wouldn't bother me especially as it is in a different colour. Will anybody even notice if they are different colours? I'd tell your DIL so she can make her own choice.

CantFindTheBeat · 27/05/2023 22:52

You both have excellent taste, OP!!!

As PPs have said, they look very very different in the two colour ways so that's fine.

Your accessories will also be different, and you can make sure any wrap/bag/shoe/fascinator/hairpiece options are especially vibrant to make sure you stand out.

JaneJeffer · 27/05/2023 22:52

Fortunately I do have a lovely dress not been worn yet.
Wear that one then. It's hardly a big, big problem!

continentallentil · 27/05/2023 22:53

Helpmeimtired · 27/05/2023 22:46

Oh god. No advice, but offering a handhold x

😁

RuthW · 27/05/2023 23:30

Is it that dress about? If so no one will notice as they are so different. Get a nice jacket if you are bothered.

TimesRwo · 27/05/2023 23:49

Have you told her you have the same dress? You probably should so she doesn’t think you copied her!

CC4712 · 28/05/2023 00:02

Would you really wear black and ivory to your daughters wedding- even a 2nd wedding??? What colour is she wearing?

Could you add a bolero, belt, bright shoes/handbag or something else to divert that fact its the same shaped dress as brothers partner?

stitchinguru · 28/05/2023 02:05

Why didn’t you just say something when she first showed you? You could have agreed a solution there and then between you??
Think I’d be more concerned about strange family dynamics than dress choice. Sorry.

JandalsAlways · 28/05/2023 02:16

Don't worry about it, tell her so she can change if she wants to. They're different colours and I think it will actually look quite nice being matching

Ohpleeeease · 28/05/2023 08:44

Are you asking whether you should wear a different dress or for advice on handling the situation?
If the former, no, wear the dress you chose for the occasion.
If the latter, call or text, “This is awkward, I’ve realised we’ve bought the same dress, what are we going to do about it?” Put the ball in her court, hopefully she’ll agree that as MOB you ought to have priority and offer to find something different.
if she doesn’t, wear it anyway because the chances are no-one else will notice.

Chispazo · 28/05/2023 11:02

I think you see it as a sign from the universe that you spend more on yourself and get something special. More special than Roman. No offence to that label, but really, you deserve more on your daughter's wedding day. I hope you find something that makes you feel like thank goodness I'm not wearing that other yoke.

Chispazo · 28/05/2023 11:04

ps, if the other poster correctly identified the exact dress, they do look different as the floral print is also different.

raincamepouringdown · 28/05/2023 11:16

The two dresses look very different save for the bit across the neckline ... doubt anyone will even notice.

MargotBamborough · 28/05/2023 11:37

Did you tell her your outfit is almost identical?

If you didn't say anything I would be worried she'd think you'd done it deliberately.

2bazookas · 28/05/2023 11:39

Just wear it. Nobody is going to care.

FedUpWithTheNHS · 28/05/2023 11:40

Why didn’t you say anything at the time?

You might decide the two dresses are looking really different but your brother’s partner might not!! Or she might.

Surely the best is to have a chat with her and see with her how she feels about it? She might have another dress to wear, just like you. She might feel horrified that you have the same dress and will be grateful fir your proposal to wear another dress OR for the opportunity to swap for something else.

Talk people! Just talk to each other.