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Original poster

Are you close with your cousins?

103 replies

chessica · 25/05/2023 21:44

If so, to what extent? Just interested in what is the norm as I reflect on my relationships with my own.

Do you never see them? See them once or twice a year? See them all the time and always up to date with their lives too?

OP posts:
Hbh17 · 25/05/2023 23:03

No. I only have 2, but not seen them for over 30 years. No issues, just no reason to stay in touch. In my view, large clingy families are overrated, so I'm very happy not to have that pressure.

TroysMammy · 25/05/2023 23:09

I have 26 living first cousins, ages between 57-76, we aren't close mainly because of the age gap, I'm the youngest by one, my sister at 53 is the youngest and only meet up at funerals. Out of 11 siblings only my Dad is left. Most of us live in the same city but 4 lots live elsewhere in the UK. Although some cousins have fallen out with their siblings We do get on and have a laugh when we meet up even if is a funeral.

peachgreen · 25/05/2023 23:11

I was very close to all of my first cousins growing up. We don’t see each other as much now but we’re still all in touch regularly and I love them dearly. Only two of us are girls and she is more like a sister to me, my best friend in the world and the person I love the most after my daughter. Her daughter is named after me and she is guardian of my child should anything happen to me. She is an absolute blessing, I feel so lucky to have her.

TroysMammy · 25/05/2023 23:11

Quite a few of us are on Facebook and those that are not their children, my second cousins are so we keep in touch that way.

UsingChangeofName · 25/05/2023 23:16

I have 2 sets.
On the one side, we lived quite a long way from each other, but grew up spending holidays together and visiting perhaps 3 times a year. As adults (coming into retirement years) we tend to see each other at weddings and funerals and about once a year apart from that now. We keep in touch on Facebook, and with Christmas cards.
On the other side, we never see them. Last time was a funeral probably around 10 years ago now. But, we never saw them growing up (complicated family history). We've never fallen out or anything, just didn't have that relationship in the first place. My (adult) dc have never met them. Come to think of it, I don't think dh has either.

My dc have 9 cousins. I'd say they are really really close with one set (of siblings), and not close at all with a single cousin who is a similar age. On the other side of the family (2 sets) there is quite an age difference, so, although they see them as part of big family gatherings 2 or 3 times a year, they don't have their own relationship with them like they do the ones that are the same age as them.

Somanycats · 25/05/2023 23:18

My cousins are fabulous. I don't see them lots but I see most of them (13 first cousins) a couple of times a year. Had a holiday with one set just last week. And will see another one in a couple of weeks when she comes to London to visit her daughter.

847arc · 25/05/2023 23:21

I randomly bumped into one at the supermarket recently, haven’t seen the rest for the best part of twenty years when we all met at a family wedding.

DecommissionedVag · 25/05/2023 23:27

I'm very close to one cousin and rarely/never see the others. We're both only children and more like sisters. We even look like sisters and most people think that we are until we correct them. There's a ten year age gap but we've been close since I was in my my mid teens. We're both each other's go to person in a crisis and I'd say she's my best friendm

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 25/05/2023 23:32

Nope. Only have them on my mum's side. Because my grandad died and my gran remarried when my mum was little, there is a wide spread between us (20 years between oldest and youngest).

One lives on the other side of the world. The rest live at least 400 miles away.

We always got on ok as children but again I was closer to the two oldest (I'm in the middle) and I spent most of my childhood living in a different country to them so it was only really Christmas and Summer holidays that we saw each other.

Lizzy1980 · 25/05/2023 23:33

I have loads of cousins as both of my parents came from large families. We were fairly close growing up but we’ve lost touch over the years. They all had children and families of their own and we only really see each other at funerals these days. It’s quite sad really because I have cousins that I could pass in the street and wouldn’t even recognize. I’m still in contact with two that are the same age as me but that’s only through the occasional text. My family is so big that it’s just impossible to stay in touch with everyone

sunshineandshowers40 · 25/05/2023 23:39

Not close to my cousins, siblings and I are the youngest and we are closer in age to their children. My DC get on well with their cousins but due to distance and life don't see them often enough but they do game online together

inloveandmarried · 25/05/2023 23:42

Yes. My first cousins live an hour away and we try to meet up 2-3 times a year with extended family.

I also have second cousins an hour in the opposite direction and we meet up about once a year with them.

s0s0rry · 25/05/2023 23:51

I have 22 cousins from my dads side. Ages range from 50-30. We were close as kids but then family politics happened and we just missed out on building relationships as adults. I only really see them when someone’s died.

I have 6 cousins from my mums side who are a lot younger than me and live abroad. I’ve only met one of them and do keep in touch.

I’m very close to my husbands cousins. My husbands family are a very big and close knit family so integrating with them was the given. However, I have built my own relationships with them and we get along very well. They’ve become really good friends of mine which I’m grateful for, especially since I moved 200 miles after marriage.

Freeballing · 25/05/2023 23:53

No. Mine all live in England and I grew up in a different country. They all had very different upbringings to my family and lots of them have addictions and quite serious mental health/physical health issues spanning from poverty, deprivation and a lack of education. We are just very different with really different life experiences and it makes it difficult to connect when all you have in common is that you are related.

FatGirlSwim · 25/05/2023 23:53

I wouldn’t recognise them if I passed them in the street. I’m not sure I’ve met all my cousins. I spent some time with a couple of them growing up but haven’t seen them since grandparents’ funerals.

FatGirlSwim · 25/05/2023 23:54

I couldn’t even tell you how many cousins I have or all their names. No falling out, just not a close relationship… or any relationship at all really.

SwedishEdith · 25/05/2023 23:56

No. Got over 25 but not sure precise number. Some on social media and can contact some for info if I need anything. But only see each other at funerals. Not ever met about half of them (and some already dead).

Tailfeather · 25/05/2023 23:56

My cousins are like siblings to me and I hope my son's cousins will be the same as he's an only child but has 7 cousins the same age as him! (4 on my side of the family 3 on my husband's). One lives 3 doors away and the others we do as much together as possible.

MyMachineAndMe · 25/05/2023 23:58

Facebook friends and will pass the time of day with most of them. Going to one cousin's birthday bash this summer. See them at weddings and funerals mainly despite not living that far away from most of them. One cousin does my head in so try to avoid that one, as do my siblings.

Gingerkittykat · 26/05/2023 00:07

I have 19 cousins, all on my dad's side and have mixed relationships with them. I consider myself good friends with four of them, the two who live in America I have met once each and obviously have no kind of bond with them. The rest I see at weddings and funerals but have a friendly relationship with them.

My older cousins are more than 20 years older than me and my sister so have kids around our ages and also grandkids. The family Christmas meal is always fun because there are so many of us!

Thisisabsolutelyfine · 26/05/2023 00:18

Nope, weddings funerals and the casino family reunion that’s it.

Thisisabsolutelyfine · 26/05/2023 00:42

Occasional not casino (although that sounds more fun)

LlynTegid · 26/05/2023 07:26

Mine live a distance away, we visit each other from time to time but the next one will be the first since before the pandemic.

HadEnough2023 · 26/05/2023 07:38

No, used to be super close to one she was like a sister to me growing up. Then she turned into a super bitch so I avoid her when going back home. Grin

My other cousins were born when I was in my late teens, I have a child older than my youngest cousin so that'd be a bit weird!

caughtinamess · 26/05/2023 07:40

I have 9 first cousins in total. I can honestly say I don't see them, I mean they're on my social media but everyone is busy with their lives.
5 Of them are 10yrs+ older than me and 3 10yrs younger. The one cousin who is 4 years older than me I don't even talk to even though we share some mutual friends. It's just a matter of different upbringings etc.
Even my children they don't actually have cousins as one of us is an only child and the other has one sibling with no partner so equally no children.