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Original poster

Are you close with your cousins?

103 replies

chessica · 25/05/2023 21:44

If so, to what extent? Just interested in what is the norm as I reflect on my relationships with my own.

Do you never see them? See them once or twice a year? See them all the time and always up to date with their lives too?

OP posts:
thinkofanewusername · 25/05/2023 22:22

Not at all as children, but we lived a couple of hundred miles apart and only met around once a year, although they saw more of each other. I have ten cousins altogether. Still not close to one side, although have been invited to weddings etc where we have enjoyed a chat.
Somehow I suddenly became closer to cousins on the other side of the family in my late twenties/around 30. I'm going on holiday with two of them next week!

Littlefish · 25/05/2023 22:24

I have 7 first cousins.

One I speak to every couple of days. He's more like my brother. In fact, I'm closer to him than my brother.

The other 6 I see every couple of years and don't speak to inbetween.

Twwodoorsaway · 25/05/2023 22:25

I’ve got around 35 first cousins (or did as some are no longer with us) as my dad was one of 10. I’m the youngest by about 10 years except for my older sibling, so many I just never knew, they were adults before I was born and scattered all round the country. I stay in touch (social media mainly) with a handful, and with a handful of their children (so first cousins once removed). Very many could pass me in the street and I wouldn’t know them.

My children (adults now) are close to their cousins on my side, and less so with the ones on their dad’s side. But all will be together at a family wedding in the summer which will be lovely. We have a big extended family WhatsApp group where we share photos etc, even though we live a long way apart. I love seeing all the cousins together.

Sarahtm35 · 25/05/2023 22:26

I have 6 cousins 3 in their 20, 2 in their 30’s and 1 who’s nearly 50.
the oldest I’ve only seen twice in my whole life. And the others I used to see a few times a year as a child. Now I only see them at funerals.
they live 40 miles away so aren’t local. Wish we were closer but we have different lives and the bond just isn’t there sadly. My husbands cousins all live within a 2 miles radius and he barely seems them either.

Confusion101 · 25/05/2023 22:27

I've about 50 in total. Some are like siblings to me, some I wouldn't recognise if I passed them on the street. Oddly I am fairly up to date with all of their lives though

GreenMarigold · 25/05/2023 22:29

I have 7 cousins. Nearly all live within 30 miles of me but we never choose to spend time together. I see them occasionally at family events.

My children only have 2 cousins and they live in another country so they’ve only met once.

My husband is much friendlier with his cousins which is amazing considering his family is great at having fallings out.

Bbq1 · 25/05/2023 22:29

I'm quite close to one cousin, as adults. She's about 17 years older than me but we meet for lunch and a catch up every couple of months.ni have 4 other very nice cousins but we only meet at wedding and funerals etc. We always chat and get on well at the various events.

PinkRiceKrispies · 25/05/2023 22:30

Have 2, never see them.

DramaAlpaca · 25/05/2023 22:31

Not close to them at all. I haven't seen any of them for many years.

WhatWouldJeevesDo · 25/05/2023 22:32

Haven’t seen any of them since 1997.

Letsallgotothebeach · 25/05/2023 22:33

I absolutely adore my cousins but they now all live the other side of the world and it's been 4 years since we were last together. I am just as close to their partners (one cousin married my best friend). We've all holidayed together in NZ and Thailand and planning another big trip next year. It's really hard being so far from them.

megletthesecond · 25/05/2023 22:36

I have 6 cousins. We've never lived anywhere near each other. Not seen them for at least 16 years. 2 have unfriended me on FB.

thecatsthecats · 25/05/2023 22:41

Seven in total, see none of them.

Husband has two. We see them intermittently at family gatherings, never chat or meet up ourselves.

MIL gets together with her cousins regularly. Recently commented that "the next generation would be starting meet ups soon".

Erm, nope!

Hoppingmad231 · 25/05/2023 22:41

9 cousins close too 2 off them as we grew up on the same road and still live near each other now, See 2 other cousins now and again kids parties christmas at nans etc the others might bump into them shopping say hi that's about it.

Weatherwife · 25/05/2023 22:42

One of them I see a couple of times a year as we live nearby. The others I haven’t seen/spoken to in years.

Hawkins0001 · 25/05/2023 22:43

On talking terms but that's about it really.

GnomeDePlume · 25/05/2023 22:43

6 cousins all similar ages to me. Grew up in different parts of the country. I wouldn't be able to pick them out in a line up. Just not a close family. I dont regularly meet up with my brothers either - nothing in common other than DM.

We are closer to DH's family.

GulesMeansRed · 25/05/2023 22:49

I have 5 first cousins, all are a lot older than me, grew up in different areas of the country. Saw three of them for the first time in 20 years recently at a funeral. We are not close.

FrostieBoabby · 25/05/2023 22:51

I only have 3 cousins, all sisters, seen them a handful of times at our shared Grandparents house as a child and only funerals and weddings since then. Probably less than 10 times in my life and we're all heading towards being 50 years old now.

It's a shame that once Grandparents are away you don't really have much reason to keep in touch unless you were proper friends in your younger days.

Remaker · 25/05/2023 22:51

I have 8 cousins on mum’s side and 3 on dad’s. 3 of them live in the same city as me, the rest are elsewhere. 4 of them I have zero contact with, the rest I have pretty regular SM interaction and we see each other a couple of times a year. I am genuinely fond of them which I think is reciprocated.

My kids have grown up a few minutes from one set of 5 cousins and are very close which I love. Their other 3 cousins live overseas. They are in contact with 2 of them (they are adults, mine are teens). Their eldest cousin has zero interest in them which didn’t change at all when he stayed with us for 6 weeks.

SkaneTos · 25/05/2023 22:57

I am fairly close to my cousins, I don't see them often since they live quite far away, but I like them, and we have fun when we meet.

I'm actually even closer to my second cousins on my mother's side. She doesn't have any siblings, so her cousins were kind of like siblings to her. Therefore I kind of see my second cousins on that side as first cousins. They live closer, and we meet fairly often.

LubaLuca · 25/05/2023 22:59

I'm quite close to a couple of them, we meet up every now and then. I have tens of first cousins, so couldn't manage to maintain a relationship with all of them.

SteelFlavour · 25/05/2023 23:00

Not very close, no. I’ve made an effort to change that and it’s working a bit with one but not really with the others. We are pleasant.

GalileoHumpkins · 25/05/2023 23:01

I wouldn't know them if I fell over them.

Comedycook · 25/05/2023 23:03

5 here...I only speak regularly to one of them. One sadly died. The remaining three who I rarely speak to range from outright dislike to one I'm fond of. I didn't live near any of them growing up which plays a big part imo to how close we are now.

My sister and I both have kids and live close..my DD especially dotes on her cousins...I imagine they will be close when they're adults.