Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

If you went from being unfit to fit/toned...

137 replies

Sundaysundaebananasplit · 21/05/2023 10:40

What did you do?

40 year old, 'skinny-fat', eg I fit into small sized clothes and look slim when I dress for my shape but I'm actually extremely flabby.

I hate exercise, which I think comes from a combination of going through puberty very early and being very uncoordinated. This made PE feel like a humiliating experience, especially as our PE teacher was a bully. Exercise brings up awful feelings of Shame as I was an overweight teenager and just so painfully self conscious. In my 20s I realised I could keep my weight down with diet alone, to my delight!

However, now I'm starting to see the holistic picture. I need to exercise for my health but I would like to tone up too. I also want to be a good example for my kids.

I'm so scared of the emotional response I get when I exercise. Classes are a no-no, for this reason. I justvfeel so stupid and weepy in these situations.

I have young kids and work full time, so it needs to be short. My youngest is an awful sleeper so I can't get up extra early and squeeze a workout in before everyone gets up: I need every minute of sleep I can get before the alarm goes off.

I don't want to do swimming or yoga, but am pretty much open to everything else, so long as its not overwhelming.

Basically, I want something effective and not scary. Can I get some advice please? Even if its a mental revelation you had, or how you talked yourself up?

OP posts:
InSpainTheRain · 21/05/2023 17:42

Kettlebells - have a couple of PT sessions and come up with some workouts together and go from there. They are amazing toning and you feel really strong.

KatharinaRosalie · 21/05/2023 22:23

How do you all approach exercise mentally? What do you tell yourself to keep going?

I approach it as non-negotiable. It's like brushing teeth or showering. Of course, luckily you have options what exactly that exercise will consist of - I'm quite sure anybody can find some kind of exercise they enjoy, there are so so many options, after all.
Also, I've seen the benefits. At my gym, there are plenty of older people, in their 70s and 80s who are still fit and nimble, because they exercise. I want to enjoy as many years of my life as possible.

Even if you will never be a swimsuit model with 6-pack, you will be fitter than without exercising, right? Good enough for me. And yes, all exercise becomes less boring and more enjoyable when you get fitter and better at it.

muddlingalong42 · 21/05/2023 22:31

Reformer pilates is great

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Exercise & fitness Fitness
queenofthebongo · 21/05/2023 22:31

I was just like you. Couldn't ever be part of a group as I was ashamed even though I wasn't huge. Got a pt in a small gym. It's a lot but worth it for me. I'd never do it on my own. We have a laugh. I have improved so much, have lost at least a inch everywhere and over a stone. I've eaten well and used my fitness pal. Cut out most alcohol but not my treats. I factor them in to my calorie allowance. I feel so much better!

Fizbosshoes · 21/05/2023 22:42

noblegiraffe · 21/05/2023 10:56

I prefer someone telling me I'm amazing for trying

Joe Wicks is good for this positive encouragement. Loads of free videos on his YouTube channel, many aimed at total beginners, some only ten minutes long.

This made me laugh as I've been trying to do some abs work outs on YouTube. I mix them up and do different ones so I don't get bored. Joe Wicks whinges his way through the 10 min workout, moaning how hard it is and that he doesn't get a break because he's doing the demo! 🤣(I'm sure it can't be as hard as he makes out as it's literally his job) Rebecca Louise on Xfit is the opposite she's very chatty and positive. I like both.
I'm better at doing the workouts than trying to be super healthy about eating so I can't say I've had amazing results, but I hope it's better than nothing!

ImAGoodPerson · 21/05/2023 22:59

I bought power abs ages ago and never started it! Tomorrow is the day. I have the summer arms programme too.

I need to lose 2 stone, I used to be really fit and toned, did an outdoor boot camp, probably obsessively really, but got injured and never adjusted my eating to accommodate the lack of training. I hate myself in photos now, my face looks chubby and I really don't suit it.

This thread has really motivated me.

HerrenaHarridan · 21/05/2023 23:07

kinda the opposite of what you asked for but I took up Krav Maga. It’s been excellent therapy and fantastic exercise but kinda scary sometimes.

ithinkicanithinkican · 21/05/2023 23:57

Hello - those of you recommending Caroline Girvan, would you say someone who had plantar fasciitis could do her programmes? I'm 53 and would like to do some weights/strength training. I've completed C25K before and was enjoying running but the PF means I can't at the moment. Thanks.

SarcasticIntrovert · 22/05/2023 06:41

I think to get started you just have to decide each night what and when you will exercise the next day, put your things out ready and just get on with it. To quote from another thread, 'you don't have to like it, you just have to do it.' Maybe not quite in the spirit of this thread but a good mantra to get you through until you start seeing results/getting the endorphins!

HarlanPepper · 22/05/2023 08:47

ithinkicanithinkican · 21/05/2023 23:57

Hello - those of you recommending Caroline Girvan, would you say someone who had plantar fasciitis could do her programmes? I'm 53 and would like to do some weights/strength training. I've completed C25K before and was enjoying running but the PF means I can't at the moment. Thanks.

Does PF mean you need to stick to low-impact exercises? If that's correct you could definitely give her programmes a go, most of her programmes are low impact and even on days (eg HIT) where there's higher impact exercises there's always a lower impact alternative. However I am not sure whether lunges or other unilateral moves would aggravate your PF - there are a lot of those in there. You could lower the weights, do bodyweight only or substitute with squats.

Persiana · 22/05/2023 08:50

I would definitely add in resistance bands training at home, with a couple of hand weights too. There's lots you can do and you will quickly feel and see the difference. It feels great to see muscle emerging and feel stronger. Good luck

HarlanPepper · 22/05/2023 08:52

Sundaysundaebananasplit · 21/05/2023 15:43

Had a look at Caroline Girvan. I don't think she would judge me through the screen lol.

Realistically, how much exercise would somebody need to get a body like hers? If I know that, then I can work out what fraction of that amount I need to do to look less blubbery 😄

She doesn't look like that through exercise alone - she's careful with her diet too, but she has been active all her life and has been working out in this way for many years, along with other stuff (she used to be a distance runner and triathlete too I think)

It's not going to happen overnight basically or even in 6 months to a year. But you will see and feel differences in your own strength, flexibility and appearance within a few weeks, I would say. Small changes at first, and you'll have to overcome some soreness and stiffness in the first couple of weeks - but if you consistently do what you can and stick with one of her programmes for its duration, you'll be glad you did and you'll want to do another.

Undethetree · 22/05/2023 08:52

A personal trainer would be ideal but obviously not always affordable (certainly not for me anyway!). But if it is something you could fork out for, do some research and find someone who really understands and can help with you confidence until you feel more able to attend fitness classes etc.

BrandNewBicep · 22/05/2023 08:59

ithinkicanithinkican I have to modify Carolines workouts due to achilles tendonitis. I have to miss out the lunges as it stretches my heel too much and I do squats with my heels raised on something. I think if you stick to her videos than are just weights and not cardio you would be fine.

SarcasticIntrovert · 22/05/2023 09:32

Also Michael Mosley has podcasts etc about the benefits of Fitness Snacking - basically doing small bursts of exercise throughout the day. I think this is particularly beneficial if you're often sat at a desk etc for long periods. Doesn't feel like much if you do 5-10 minutes throughout the day but by bedtime you could have exercised for an hour or more without even noticing.

PaminaMozart · 22/05/2023 10:03

I'll never have a body like Caroline Girvan's, but that's fine. Training with her got rid of my bingo wings and strengthened my legs and my core to a degree I would not have thought possible. However, nutrition is equally important: limiting sugar, carbs and UPF and instead eating mostly plants and a fair amount of lean protein. Since I cut out sugar (other than fruit and 1-2 glasses of wine...) I have so much more energy a d I sleep better.

Also, most people never manage the same weights as Caroline. Start low and work your way up. Do her EPIC Beginners for as long as it takes to feel confident and ensure good form. She also has a lot of short, 10-20 minutes stand-alone sessions which are very useful. I particularly like her Braced Abs & Core.

There are a few other workouts I used to get into shape for Caroline, and I still do these regularly if I don't have time for a full workout. Especially the Bowflex 3-minute plank which I do every day as a strong core is absolutely vital. Here are some of my other favourites - all free on YouTube:

Rebecca Louise: Ageless Arms, Best Arms, Bingo Wings - and especially her Best Abs

Lucy Wyndham Reed: Thighs & Glutes (VERY EFFECTIVE); Lucy has a lot of very short workouts for beginners.

Original poster
Sundaysundaebananasplit · 22/05/2023 19:04

So many amazing tips!!!
Thank you so much!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sundaysundaebananasplit · 22/05/2023 20:14

Thats another question...

With food restriction, I was always pleased to notice a difference almost straight away. I mean, the first week of a diet you lose a few lbs and can feel it too.

With exercise, it takes much longer to see the results. How long did all of you start to see results in your appearance and what were you doing?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sundaysundaebananasplit · 22/05/2023 20:59

OK so far so good!

Day 2 of getting 10,000 steps and a 15 minute pilates video. I've never done pilates before but my legs were like jelly just after a session. I've realised that I can't do more than 15 minutes or I won't do it.

OP posts:
Lemoncurdslice · 22/05/2023 21:06

Well done OP!!! It’s all about building a habit so 15 minutes is fantastic.

Original poster
Sundaysundaebananasplit · 22/05/2023 21:14

Thanks you @Lemoncurdslice it all started off fine then I started thinking 'I hate this, it's terrible!' and when I saw there was 5 minutes left, I got through it and felt good. Baby steps!

OP posts:
Octopus45 · 22/05/2023 21:31

You could be me honestly, although I'm a bit older than you (48), also dress size not that small, need a size 12 in trousers. I am very uncoordinated, have an eye problem that doesn't help, got picked on at school cause of it. I also hate running. Like you I want to get more toned and I've recently started doing youtube workout videos, admittedly only 10 mins (sometimes the arm ones that take 5 mins) and whilst I'm not going to get anywhere fast with this, I do feel better for it and feel a bit stronger. I just use some 1.5kg dumbells. I also try and do my 10,000 steps a day, although this has recently got harder cause I've started working from home more. I recommend Eleni Fit, FITMIK and Get Fit with Rick.

LumpySpaceGoddess · 23/05/2023 07:18

@Sundaysundaebananasplit I always split the time up in my head, so I started off cycling for only 15 mins and would tell myself “5 mins done, only 10 to go, etc) I do 30 now and it still helps when I notice I’ve hit halfway or only have so much time left so it encourages me to keep going because I’ve already come so far etc also there’s some exercises I really can’t do still (push-ups are one of them) so I make sure to look up modified versions for now

hugefanofcheese · 23/05/2023 07:58

HarlanPepper · 22/05/2023 08:52

She doesn't look like that through exercise alone - she's careful with her diet too, but she has been active all her life and has been working out in this way for many years, along with other stuff (she used to be a distance runner and triathlete too I think)

It's not going to happen overnight basically or even in 6 months to a year. But you will see and feel differences in your own strength, flexibility and appearance within a few weeks, I would say. Small changes at first, and you'll have to overcome some soreness and stiffness in the first couple of weeks - but if you consistently do what you can and stick with one of her programmes for its duration, you'll be glad you did and you'll want to do another.

Show quote history

Does she do competitive bodybuilding too? Might be thinking of someone else.

ThreeRingCircus · 23/05/2023 08:10

I think in a way it doesn't really matter what activity you do.....as long as you do it consistently. So running/pilates/weights/HIIT workouts/cycling/dance etc etc are all great if you find the one(s) that you enjoy and can stick to. It's being consistent that is the key.

Personally for me I enjoy walking, the rowing machine and weights. I HATE running with a passion and need to stick to low impact for health reasons anyway. I enjoy walking because I save my favourite podcasts up to only listen when I'm on a walk and they make the time go so quickly, the rowing machine at the gym was a revelation as it's a great all over workout that's low impact and weights are great for bone density as you get older. That's just what works for me though, my best friend hates the gym but loves team sports so plays netball, my sister loves yoga ... it's just finding what you enjoy and will stick to.