If you went from being unfit to fit/toned...

[Sundaysundaebananasplit]

What did you do?

40 year old, 'skinny-fat', eg I fit into small sized clothes and look slim when I dress for my shape but I'm actually extremely flabby.

I hate exercise, which I think comes from a combination of going through puberty very early and being very uncoordinated. This made PE feel like a humiliating experience, especially as our PE teacher was a bully. Exercise brings up awful feelings of Shame as I was an overweight teenager and just so painfully self conscious. In my 20s I realised I could keep my weight down with diet alone, to my delight!

However, now I'm starting to see the holistic picture. I need to exercise for my health but I would like to tone up too. I also want to be a good example for my kids.

I'm so scared of the emotional response I get when I exercise. Classes are a no-no, for this reason. I justvfeel so stupid and weepy in these situations.

I have young kids and work full time, so it needs to be short. My youngest is an awful sleeper so I can't get up extra early and squeeze a workout in before everyone gets up: I need every minute of sleep I can get before the alarm goes off.

I don't want to do swimming or yoga, but am pretty much open to everything else, so long as its not overwhelming.

Basically, I want something effective and not scary. Can I get some advice please? Even if its a mental revelation you had, or how you talked yourself up?

You want to do weights. Nothing that'll frighten the horses - a couple of dumbbells is all you need. Start with 3-5 kg, depending on your current fitness, but try to challenge yourself. Exercising with weights and resistance training are key for increasing and maintainingmusclestrengtha d bone density, especially as you get older.

I'd suggest doing weights and HIIT on alternate days. Try these - free on YouTube:

Caroline Girvan for weight training (one of the absolute the best online trainers)
Growingannanas for HIIT (high intensity interval training)

It’s early days for me OP but I’m so similar to you, including the feeling awkward and useless at exercise always. I went to a personal trainer - a woman in her 50s, who’s had her own kids, knows what the challenges of daily life are like- anyway I was SO nervous the first day but she has been great. I’m focusing on resistance/strength training with her only, no cardiovascular- hoping to start couch to 5k over the summer. She works from her home so it’s not an intimidating gym environment. Moving from one on one sessions now to small group as it’s more affordable. She’s given me a programme to do at home and I can feel myself becoming stronger. Not a whole lot of visible toning yet but it’s only been a month. Not sure if this is an option for you with FT work and small kids but would be great if you could carve out the time for even a few similar sessions. Good luck

EmKFit on YouTube, I will always recommend her and got two of my non-sporty friends to join me for regular workouts with her Dance HIIT videos.

She's fun, doesn't take herself seriously (her mottos are Wrong But Strong and Fake It Til You Make It) and offers a low impact version of any more intense moves. She does more typical fitness stuff too, including weights, but I had so much fun with the dance ones that I find them the best start.

(Some examples but she has tons of others!)

Given that you want something quick but effective, what about spinning? I know people who have gotten into it for those reasons. You could buy a second hand bike, do it as soon as the kids are in bed.

If you can afford it, I highly recommend finding a good personal trainer, at least to start you off. And by good, I don’t just mean one who is very fit (they all are!) but one who is kind. I had one after pregnancy who was also a trained counsellor and while she worked me hard, she listened to my concerns and was gentle and positive with me which is what I needed after a physically difficult pregnancy and an emotional start to motherhood.

Spinning - an absolute revelation to an unfit, short of time exercise hater. I bought a peloton which was ££££ to be fair, but I bloody love it and it is completely working for me, so I'm happy. You can get second hand bikes on ebay, or another spinning bike and just use the peloton app, but I like having the metrics from my bike linked.

Nice variety of class lengths (10, 15, 20, 45, 60 and 75 min) plus lots of other workouts (strength, core, barre, pilates, yoga, shadowboxing etc) in various class lengths so you stack whatever you have time for.

Kettlebells. There’s some really good workout vids on YouTube. A mat, a kettlebell. Gets you really toned in no time.

I’ve always been fit but did the black widow workout years ago and was like whooaaaa how did I never know this. Also dumbbells and things but following a simple kettlebell routine is just so doable

Try the XBX fitness programme - - https://crpf.gov.in/writereaddata/images/pdf/XBXPyshicalFitnessPlan.pdf - the exercises are easy to do, it's no more than 10-12 minutes a day, a mix of bodyweight/toning exercises and a cardio bit.

You don't need any equipment at all. You start off very gently, which is great if you are starting from a standstill, and if you keep at it, it really does work.

Weightlifting or crossfire. Will have you toned in no time.

Anyone who wants it, PM me and I'll send you a 60 day free peloton app trial
Weights, bodyweight, yoga, walks, running, stretching... loads of stuff

It gains me nothing but I share it as I genuinely adore it

Yoga
Yoga with Adriene, has 30 day plans and sessions for particular things like bad back/sore knees / pregnancy
I found this good for building strength and avoiding injury though by day 11 I was convinced she was trying to kill me

I lost 5 stone simply through diet but started in the gym 8 weeks ago. When you start they'll talk you through everything and can do a routine for you.
I've got a routine of reps that I've created for myself that includes a bit of cardio, kettlebells and now including some heavier weights. I take myself to a corner with my stuff and do my own thing.
I watch what others are doing but also follow a few people on TikTok for inspiration.
Got my headphones in, and I'm happy. At 53 I'm definitely not the oldest and there are all types of ages, shapes and sizes and quite frankly nobody gives a damn.
I'm feeling so much better! My gym is open 24/7 which means I can go whenever it suits me.
Warning though...its addictive!!

For me, running ticks all the boxes 🙂
I used to absolutely hate PE in school and was convinced that exercise is just not for me.
I started running years after finishing school, feeling awkward the first couple of times and only managing to run for about five minutes.
Soon I was able to run for 25-30 minutes and I’ve really enjoyed it since then.
For me, the big advantage is that I can go out for as long or short as I want - if I only have 15 minutes, I just go for a 15 minute run around the block and go for a longer one the next time.

Rebounder, skipping rope, cycling.

I second Jillian Michaels and especially 30 day shred. two weeks and the results are really noticeable and she's really encouraging somehow, even though it's a video.

How old are your children? Could you take them to those gyms that have a kids’ play area while you work out, or are they too young?

I cycle. And I "go somewhere" while I do it so that it doesn't feel like exercise. Pop into town to pick a few bits up, or round to a friend's house etc.

I started with walking and ended up doing my own sort of couch to 5k. I'd break into a little run to the next landmark, then try to extend it if I felt I was able.
I found the voice in my head started to say "well done you're doing great", "keep going" etc. replacing any negative voices. Combined with the feel good endorphins, it really helped me feel good about myself.
Also it helped me learn about my body. Sometimes I needed to go more gentle. Sometimes where I was in my cycle meant doing less or more. It was a great way to learn about myself. I even started to notice how different foods had an effect.
Eventually I got up to 5k (twice around the park). Going to that park and doing a circular route there meant I was never far from my car if needed.

Walking where there's lots of different surfaces, hills etc... Is also really good as it engages your whole body.

Hula hooping is a great exercise too and you can strengthen your core and arms that way. Out some music on and try it in the garden of you have the space.

I used to follow a great Facebook page called nutritious movement which was all about thinking about how we move through everyday life. Carrying shipping bags home instead of going in the car. Squatting for a bit instead of sitting and so on.

It took me years to realise that I absolutely hate and loathe sport, but I like physical activity. In your case, I would start with just doing more walking and find out where it leads. Don't think of it as exercise or sport, think of it as physical activity.

If you want something fun look up Lauren Jumps on instagram or for whole body fitness inspiration fiftysister, she jumps rope and does weights but is all about loving getting older, she's 55 and has lots of 40 plus followers, really inspiring

I've done 30 day shred and I have a subscription to team body project - which has a great range of accessible work outs for all appetites and ability levels. It's about £10 a month but I pay quarterly and the payment going out is always timed nicely to spur me on when I've got a bit lazy. I'm top end of "normal weight" but now have visible upper abs, toned arms and legs. I'm not trying to lose weight.

Probably took me about 6 years from age 36 to get properly in shape but really consistent over the last 3 years. Work out 3-5 times a week 30-60 mins.

I'm the same as you and have been talked into couch to 5k, I've been and bought some cheap gym wear so I can give it a go. I have had some success following yoga tutorials on YouTube in the past

Pilates. I’m nearly 50 and in the best shape of my life It’s addictive and once you see results you won’t want to stop.

You can get body pump on demand to do at home.

Les Mills has an app. You can do all the classes at home so no shame
Get some cheap weights and start low. You'll soon notice some toning

I was very similar, late 30s, ‘skinny fat’, hated exercise and also anyone seeing me exercise. Decided I needed to do something in lockdown so signed up to the Bodycoach 90 day plan, then the Graduate plan and the Bodycoach App. The mix of cardio and weights has helped with overall fitness but also toning. I forced myself to do the workouts as they were only 25-30 mins each, until it became a habit. I now feel a bit off if I don’t exercise for a few days and vanity means I like being more toned. So I’d recommend picking something that is reasonable for your lifestyle and doing everything you can to stick to it for a few months.