If you went from being unfit to fit/toned...

[Sundaysundaebananasplit]

What did you do?

40 year old, 'skinny-fat', eg I fit into small sized clothes and look slim when I dress for my shape but I'm actually extremely flabby.

I hate exercise, which I think comes from a combination of going through puberty very early and being very uncoordinated. This made PE feel like a humiliating experience, especially as our PE teacher was a bully. Exercise brings up awful feelings of Shame as I was an overweight teenager and just so painfully self conscious. In my 20s I realised I could keep my weight down with diet alone, to my delight!

However, now I'm starting to see the holistic picture. I need to exercise for my health but I would like to tone up too. I also want to be a good example for my kids.

I'm so scared of the emotional response I get when I exercise. Classes are a no-no, for this reason. I justvfeel so stupid and weepy in these situations.

I have young kids and work full time, so it needs to be short. My youngest is an awful sleeper so I can't get up extra early and squeeze a workout in before everyone gets up: I need every minute of sleep I can get before the alarm goes off.

I don't want to do swimming or yoga, but am pretty much open to everything else, so long as its not overwhelming.

Basically, I want something effective and not scary. Can I get some advice please? Even if its a mental revelation you had, or how you talked yourself up?

I did couch to 5k when I turned 40. I was like you - not massively overweight but had never been fit. Hated PE as a child, never got picked for the team etc etc...
I got the 5k runner app and ran along a cycle track where I wasn't likely to see anyone I knew. I was amazed at myself for actually sticking to it!
The one thing I would say, which was given as advice to me, is get some proper clothes for whatever exercise you're doing. I started out running in old joggers and a t-shirt, but felt so much better when I'd invested in a pair of running leggings, a sports bra and some half decent trainers.
Fell off the running wagon for a couple of years, but now do a regular run on a Saturday morning with a friend, back up to 5k and dare I say, actually enjoy it.

Can I jump in and ask what people would recommend specifically for stomach toning?

Marking my place.

This sounds good for me. Thanks!

Pilates

I do Joe Wickes 15 or 20 minutes workouts on YouTube.

Really convenient as you don't have to go out and are over pretty quick -very important if you're a busy mum of your kids.

Even factoring in a shower you can be all done in 30 minutes... And no one to watch or judge you.

I would suggest a female PT. I’ve been working with one for 8 months now and it’s been brilliant. I’ve pushed myself more than I would by myself, learnt better techniques, and she’s addressing various health issues. She makes me feel much better about myself!

For me it’s about functional fitness so as I get older my joints and muscles are stronger and protected from injury as much as possible.

I can only afford once a week so progress is slower, but still noticeable. She comes to my house which works for both of us. I’m also trying to change my mindset from it being about what I look like, to how my body feels, but that’s a long journey! Like you OP I hated PE at school and its left a fear of being laughed at during sport. I hate any work rounders games etc. It’s funny as people often refer to me as quite outdoorsy now but I still have that self-image from school.

If you are skinny but flabby, I definitely recommend weights. Yes it's good to do both cardio and weights, but if you can only do one, do weights. Plus, while not classical weight training, for example Bodypump back and lunge tracks get my heartrate just as high as a 10K run. There are plenty of free online videos as well, Caroline Girvan for example as already mentioned.

Walking workouts on YouTube. I also like dance step classes on there.

https://www.nhs.uk/better-health/get-active/home-workout-videos/

I love Lucy Wyndham-Reed.Lots of short 5 minutes workouts for different areas. Lovely Facebook group.
She also has longer videos. But I like the short ones, no adverts.
Jessica Ennis on Instagram has a program that you pay for, looks good value.

5 workouts at the gym per week. I did mainly cardio, which people say doesn't work as well as weights but it worked for me. I ate lots of chicken salad and fruit, but still has my daily chocolate bar 😁 At 39/40 I was in the best shape of my life! Stopped working out in lockdown and put on 2 stone 😫

Couch to 5k

30 Day Shred

I echo these.

I have a peloton which is brilliant, I ride or do Pilates or barre most days and some weight training. I pay monthly but there’s loads of secondhand bikes on FB.

Amazing responses!

I did a brisk walk for 1 hour and 15 minutes. I lost the charger for my Garmin so have ordered 9n3 off amazon and it will be delivered tomorrow.

I've found some beginner workshops by Joe Wicks which I think I can handle for the meantime.

I absolutely love the idea of getting the proper gear. I only have old, bally, stained joggers and random t shirts. I think if I had some proper active wear, I might feel a bit less of an odd ball.
I have such a weird hip/thigh situation that I need loose bottoms. Any tips for something trendy so I don't look like I'm just wearing my brothers tracksuit bottoms (true story!)?

I'm going to give pilates a go too.

OK, sports psychology time. How do you all approach exercise mentally? What do you tell yourself to keep going? It all starts in the mind. My mind is telling me I'll never be fit, I'll never tone up, I'll never stick at it, I'll hate it, its boring. I have flab on top of flab and am just sick of feeling like a big wobbly, inactive lump of lard!

I tried the 30 day shred and couldn't continue past the 3rd day as I was in such pain. I don't know how anyone can push through the exercises every day when it hurts so much!

Peloton guide. It's a couple of hundred quid then £24 a month. All sorts of classes, none loner than 30 minutes and it's a fantastic interactive was to get into strength training. It tracks your reps and you can see yourself on the screen to see if you're doing the exercises correctly. There is stretching, cardio and yoga on there too. Just a little box you attach to your TV and you can do it from the comfort of your own home.

Caroline Girvan on youtube. Short workouts you can do in your kitchen. You'll need a couple of pairs of dumbbells to start you off. She's great :-)

I have never got into enjoying exercise thanks to PE same as you. That kind of humiliation is so unnecessary and damaging long term, I've no idea why some PE teachers see it as a successful teaching tactic. I was a bit of an overweight kid in addition to uncoordinated and was treated like i went around kicking puppies for fun by Miss!

What about starting with exercise in your own home, then maybe branching out to the gym or classes as you get more confidence? I can't recommend Caroline Girvan highly enough on YouTube. You could try her kettlebell workouts and build up to her series. There is a 15 min workout which is a great start and effective (obv you won't become Miss Universe from 15 mins at a time but you will notice a difference if you stick at it and build up). Get your 10k steps a day, start with brisk walking, maybe couch 2 5k or just periods of jogging. Vicky Justiz on YouTube does some good bodyweight toning including crunches and plank challenges that are good to slot in.

Diet and strength training will achieve what you want in terms of a toned body and protect joints etc as you get older. You can sign up for programmes where you do 5 classes a week. Start with super light weights and you'll see an improvement quickly and it'll really spur you on.

I'm a PT and have suggested it to countless friends and they e all been thrilled. It's like a PT in your own home x

You don't need to do them in your kitchen btw - I just typed that because that's where I have the most space in my house!

I can vouch for the living room being just as effective 😁

Following. Great post and some great suggestions.

I did weights at home (dumbbells). & step ups on my stairs. 50 squats daily, not all in 1 go. Low-carb eating (but not religiously). Im now fit and toned.

Im older than you. & I hate exercise too. Far too lazy to get ready and out to go to gym. I dont like running. So home exercise works for me. Like any form of exercise tho, you have to find something you like then stick with it.

How do you all approach exercise mentally? What do you tell yourself to keep going? It all starts in the mind. My mind is telling me I'll never be fit, I'll never tone up, I'll never stick at it, I'll hate it, its boring.

Following, purely for advice on this. I’ve tried quite a few of the things suggested on here, but this ^^ is always the issue.

Seconding @AnnaMagnani Team body project - really really excellent and i'm a very experienced exerciser! They will get you fit and toned. Brilliant value for money and done from home.