My son is 16. He's starting dating a boy who's just turned 17. I don't know him that well.
All the following is what the 17 year old has told me. Apprently his mum went on holiday for 10 days . He was meant to be staying at home on his own. But he ended up staying here . He did show me a couple of messages where he had asked his mum and she said OK he could stay.
When she got back he went back home over night a couple of times but staying here till late ie 11pm . And college during the day .
Then a couple of days ago . My son told me that there has been some sort of fight between the 17 year old and his 21 year old sibling . I don't know what caused it or how far it went. But apparently it was reported to police and 17 year old is now on bail. To his sisters address. And not allowed to his mums house where the 21 year old is. Although mum has Been asking him to go there. He has a few times hence him staying there now and then.
I think there's been another type of argument I think more verble. And he's ended up back here again.
As far as I know he's not spoken to his mum for a few days. I don't know her ad all she does not know me either.
Apprently since the 17 year old has Been on bail he has had a social worker. Who's not been in contact as far as I know.
Please bare in mind this has all been told to me by teenagers.
Where does this leave me. I mean I want the 17 year old to be safe. But am I doing wrong letting him stay here could I be in Any sort of trouble.
Also I'm a bit concerned if his mum truly knows he's here or is she worried sick.
As I said i don't know the mum I dont even know her name
On the money side of it does not have a bank account and no access to money.
Also by me giving him a place to stay am I actually stopping him and his mum from sorting something out.
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Sons boy friend does not want to go home.
Kids23 · 20/05/2023 09:04
Neurodiversitydoctor · 20/05/2023 19:27
Oh OP none of this good.
Kids23 · 20/05/2023 19:17
She got caught in the cross fire he did not go out to punch her.
Whys he automatically the bad person
Anyway as I said im contacting social services on Monday so things can get sorted .
CakeBeautifulCake · 20/05/2023 19:38
'you know giving a no comment interview is always advised do you?'
Having watched alot of interviews lately, yes, it is best that someone responds with 'no comment'. The police don't have everyones best interests at heart.
"...Anything you say will and can be used against you in a court of law."
That's why the Police befriend you and build a rapport first. To get you speaking. The best course is always to say nothing until you have a lawyer as they are on your side.
This is just my observation from watching crime documentaries but 100% even if you are innocent, always be 'no comment' until you lawyer up.
Sorry for that derailment OP. Fwiw, I had fights with siblings to the extent that the police got called out. As adults, we all get on great now. Siblings fighting doesn't mean someone is a scumbag. It's just a reaction when young people are crammed into a small space and possessive over their things/personality clashes/hormones.
Kids23 · 20/05/2023 19:52
That's exactly it. My son is a policeman and has Said the same . He said he cabt say for sure . But if anything comes of it it's likely to go to youth offenders team where he will get help and support to take the right path and make better choices.
It is a little sad that at 17 year old is taking the brunt of everything and nothing is said regarding the 21 year old . Who's actually bigger built than him. And also gave a few punches. Yes he's been a dick but could be possible that others have been as well.
CakeBeautifulCake · 20/05/2023 19:38
'you know giving a no comment interview is always advised do you?'
Having watched alot of interviews lately, yes, it is best that someone responds with 'no comment'. The police don't have everyones best interests at heart.
"...Anything you say will and can be used against you in a court of law."
That's why the Police befriend you and build a rapport first. To get you speaking. The best course is always to say nothing until you have a lawyer as they are on your side.
This is just my observation from watching crime documentaries but 100% even if you are innocent, always be 'no comment' until you lawyer up.
Sorry for that derailment OP. Fwiw, I had fights with siblings to the extent that the police got called out. As adults, we all get on great now. Siblings fighting doesn't mean someone is a scumbag. It's just a reaction when young people are crammed into a small space and possessive over their things/personality clashes/hormones.
Lonecatwithkitten · 21/05/2023 08:22
@Kids23 I have had involvement with a similar case. In my experience social services would have confirm with the sister that she was happy to house him, if she had refused to house him and he had suggested you as a safe address both the police and social services would have contacted you.
In my case I agreed to provide a single nights care to a 16 year old whilst social services organised ongoing care. To arrange this I had two calls from a police officer, a call from the social worker and a visit from the social worker. My address had to be provided to the police for that nights care. I was asked to provide care for the full 28 days of his bail, but refused to protect my own 16 year old. My 16 year old was furious with me at the time. Of course the situation developed and more emerged, my 16 year old admitted later that I had made the right decision.
I think you are not getting the full story on this and he should be at his sisters if that is where care was agreed as part of his bail.
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